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KELLER’S AEW DYNAMITE REPORT
OCTOBER 30, 2021
AIRED LIVE ON TNT
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone, Excalibur
Ring Announcer: Justin Roberts
-The Dynamite opening theme aired. Then the announcers introduced the show as cameras panned the enthusiastic crowd. They talked about the scheduled matches.
(1) C.M. PUNK vs. BOBBY FISH
The crowd began chanting “C.M. Punk!” before his entrance music even began. They popped big for him. Lots of signs in the crowd for him, too. Punk ran the ropes half-speed a couple minutes in, which didn’t look great. Fish controlled Punk on the mat for a minute as a dueling chant of “C.M. Punk! / Let’s Go Fish!” rang out, favoring Punk in volume. Punk dove through the ropes and speared Fish against the ringside barricade a few minutes in. When he climbed to the top rope, Fish rolled out of the ring. Fish swept Punk’s leg on the ring apron and then took over in the ring. Punk fired back at ringside, but his leg gave out in the ring. Punk eventually signaled for a Go To Sleep, but Fish countered with a Dragon screw. Punk scored a two count with a jackknife pin attempt. He then countered Fish and landed a GTS for the win. Fish appeared to actually kick out before three for some reason, but the music played and the bell rang and the ref signaled it was over, so that was obviously the planned finish. The kickout, though, took the steam out of the crowd pop.
WINNER: Punk in 14:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: Good match, with stretches of being very good. They told a story of Punk fighting through a damaged knee to persevere, with the announcers pushing the idea that it was a tough battle for him. There is a sense that Punk is still getting into ring shape and it’s a bit of a struggle to get his legs back under him and his timing back, so the match told a believable story in that respect. Not sure what Fish was thinking kicking out even right at or after the third count. Punk’s finisher shouldn’t be something someone at Fish’s level is trying to undercut with a kickout at three.)
-A produced promo aired with Malakai Black talking about defeating Cody Rhodes. He took credit for “making the entire crowd hate you.” He closed with: “If you think this was about pinfalls, folks, think again.” [c]
(2) MJF (w/Wardlow, Shawn Spears) vs. BRYCE DONOVAN
MJF was listed as 16-3 in singles matches. He yelled at a fan who held up a sign that “MJF is MID.” Donovan was making his AEW debut. When the bell rang, MJF offered a hand shake. Donovan shook his hand, and MJF kicked him and threw him hard into the corner of the ring. He grabbed his hair and then gave him a Heat Seeker. Then he pinned him with a finger on the chest. Excalibur called that “MJF fulfilling his quarterly wrestling obligation.”
WINNER: MJF in under 1:00.
-Afterward, MJF said Boston is just as he remembered it, “an absolute shithole.” He said what he does best is pinning shoulders to the mat and banging rats. He said he is going to skip the second part this week since he’d “rather shove his junk in a blender than go anywhere near your disgusting, fat women.” He then said he was going to imitate their mothers. He said: “Harder, MJF, harder.” He shifted to talking a about Darby Allin. When they chanted “Darby! Darby!” he said Boston loves to cheer for losers. He said Darby is scared to show up for work now. Fans chanted “Asshole!” at him. MJF said, “Sorry, guys, I can’t hear you over all the money I make.” (Great line.) He talked about using his Dynamite Diamond ring to knock out Sting last week, and said it’s the same ring he used to beat “Hangman” Page. “The more you know,” he said. He said there is nothing stopping him from his destiny. He said whether Kenny Omega or Hangman win, he’s the future World Champion.
Sting’s music then played and MJF, Spears, and Warlow stood guard. Schiavone said, “Here he is to shut his mouth!” The music stopped and MJF laughed and called everyone stupid idiots for buying it. He and Spears hugged in celebration. The lights then went out. MJF said, ” Ha ha, very funny, Spears.” Spears said that’s not him. A weird video aired of Darby spiking a guy in a mask through a table who was supposedly MJF. Then the lights came on and Sting attacked MJF, Spears, and Wardlow with a baseball bat. Darby then showed up in the crowd in a long jacket. MJF ran to the back. Darby threw Spears into the ringside steps. Fans chanted, “Darby! Darby!” Sting hit Spears with a bat. Wardlow tried to come to Spears’ defense, but Darby hit him with his skateboard. MJF stood on the stage, pacing. Darby challenged MJF to a match at Full Fear. The announcers plugged Full Gear in Minneapolis, Minn.
(Keller’s Analysis: I really like MJF winning a decisive squash, and it being framed as a contractually obligated quarterly match makes him seem like a weasel for having the match against a wrestler making his AEW debut. His promo was excellent.) [c]
-Schiavone interviewed Britt Baker & Co. backstage. He told her she’s booked against Abadon in a “Trick or Treat” match on Friday, and if Abadon wins, she gets a title match against her. Baker asked what the trick is. Schiavone said it’s no-DQ. Baker said she’s got some tricks herself.
(3) “SPANISH GOD” SAMMY GUEVARA vs. “ALL EGO” ETHAN PAGE – TNT Title match
Ethan came out first. Sammy charged to the ring and tackled Ethan, then landed a corkscrew dive at ringside before throwing him over a ringside barricade. Schiavone noted that everyone was banned from ringside. Excalibur said if Ethan loses, Sammy gets to decide which five members of American Top Team they’ll wrestle at Full Gear. They finally entered the ring and the ref called for the bell. Ethan headbutted Sammy off the top rope and then delivered a leaping backbreaker to the side of the top turnbuckle. Sammy dropped to the floor. They cut to a break, but stayed with the action on split-screen. [c/ss]
Sammy came back with a springboard cutter and a Spanish Fly for a near fall. Sammy landed a shooting star press off the top rope onto Ethan at ringside. The crowd chanted “Holy shit!” Excalibur reminded viewers that if Sammy lost, he’d have to leave Inner Circle. Ethan came back in the ring and scored a two count. Fans chanted “Sammy!” as Ethan climbed to the top rope slowly and gingerly. Sammy leaped up there, nearly lost his footing, and set up a top rope Spanish Fly. Ethan threw him to the mat and set up an Ego’s Edge off the top rope. Guevara powered out of it and leg scissored Ethan to the mat. He went for a shooting star press, but Ethan moved. Guevara went for a standing shooting star press, but Ethan moved. Ethan went for a move, but Sammy countered with a quick jackknife cover for the win.
WINNER: Guevara in 13:00 to retain the TNT Title.
(Keller’s Analysis: Really good match.)
-Ethan attacked Guevara from behind as he was celebrating his win. Sammy fought back, but Scorpio Sky ran out and joined in the attack. Inner Circle then ran to the ring as Chris Jericho’s theme played. Jericho, Santana, Ortiz, and Jake Hager cleared the ring. Fans sang the lyrics as Ethan and Sky retreated up the ramp. Sky covered his ears. They showed Tony Nese in the front row again. Fans chanted “Jericho! Jericho!”
Jericho called Ethan and Sky the Jackasses of the Year. He said he respects Sky for beating him twice, but the last thing Ethan beat “of any prominence is yourself in your hotel room last night.” Ethan insisted that wasn’t true and covered his crotch. Jericho said because Sammy won, the five-on-five match at Full Gear will feature “America’s Top Team versus the reunited Inner Circle, baby.” He said it’ll be a Minneapolis Street Fight. He called Dan Lambert a “pumpkin-headed dipshit.” He said they’re going to shove kendo sticks up their backsides and make “MMA meatsickles” with them. He then did a variation on Aerosmith lyrics.
-Schiavone interviewed Bryan Danielson and Eddie Kingston in front of a metal garage door backstage. Kingston confronted Bryan for accusing him not working hard between his matches. Kingston was fired up and retorted that he wakes up every day and takes a Z0loft so he doesn’t “flip out and hurt somebody.” He said he battled depression, which turns into anger. He said he’s trying to not get locked up so he can live a dream. He told Bryan not to talk about hard work until he’s walked a mile in his shoes. He said he’s done talking “so excuse my back.” He walked away. Bryan paused, then said that’s the Eddie Kingston he wants to see. He said that’s the Kingston who has something to fight for. Bryan yelled that he’s been through stuff too. He said he doesn’t complain about it. He said every time Kingston steps into the ring, he works his ass off. He said he and Jon Moxley are the two toughest pro wrestlers he has ever met in his entire life. He said despite all of that, on Friday he’s going to go out there and prove he’s the best.
(Keller’s Analysis: That was a really good segment. Will it translate to a boost in viewership for Rampage, though?) [c]
-Schiavone interviewed Penta & Rey Fenix with Alex Abrahantes about facing FTR at Full Gear. They agreed to put the AEW Tag Team Titles on the line.
(4) SERENA DEEB vs. HIKARU SHIDA – TBS Tournament match
A different placement of this show coming at the top of the second hour rather than the usual spot for a women’s match of deeper into the second hour before the main event. A sign of confidence this will be really good and hold viewers’ attention. Excalibur noted that Dynamite is heading to TBS in January. Ross and Schiavone reminisced about being on TBS in the past. When Deeb tried to yanked Shida by her legs into the ringpost crotch-first, Shida yanked her legs back and pulled Deeb hard into the ringpost. The ref began her count as Deeb regained her senses. Shida stopped the count and threw Deeb back onto the ring apron. She then superplexed her for a two count. They cut to a split-screen break. [c/ss]
Deeb swept Shida’s legs during the break and took over. Shida came back after the break with a running knee. Shida landed a missile dropkick off the top rope followed by a delayed-drop vertical suplex for a two count. Shida scored some near falls after more big strikes. When Deeb went for a figure-four, Shida kicked her off of her. Deeb tumbled through the ropes, and her legs caught the middle rope and she ended up falling awkwardly. Excalibur said it was not an “elegant” sequence. Shida pulled a chair out from under the ring, which Ross noted is illegal. Schiavone said she likes to use it as a springboard. Ross said it’s still illegal. Deeb kicked the chair over. Shida used the stairs to launch off of with a dropkick instead.
Deeb yanked Shida’s legs over the edge of the ring apron and then set up a figure-four around the ringpost. The ref ordered her to break before the count of five. She did. Shida countered a figure-four attempt with a small package for a two count. Shida threw some kicks and a running knee, but Deeb rolled thorugh and applied a half crab. She turned it into an inverted figure-four. Shida teased tapping, but then grabbed the bottom rope to force a break. Fans chanted “This is awesome!” Deeb swung a glass plaque at Shida, but Shida knocked it out of her hands. Shida picked it up, but relinquished it when the ref warned her. Deeb then poked Shida in the eyes and small packaged her for a near fall. Shida rolled through on a Detox attempt for the three count.
WINNER: Shida in 12:00 to advance in the TBS Tournament.
(Keller’s Analysis: Easily overall one of the better overall women’s matches on Dynamite.)
-Afterward, Deeb attacked Shida, rammed her knee into the mat, and applied a half crab. Agent Jerry Lynn and four referees broke up her hold.
-They reviewed the brackets, which means Shida faces Nyla Rose next, and the question being whether her knee will be recovered by then.
-Schiavone interviewed Lio Rush and Dante Martin. Schiavone said an injury to Mike Sydal means good news for everyone as Dante will instead wrestle Matt Sydal one-on-one. Rush said it clearly wasn’t the right time for Mike Sydal, and he said he should have seen this coming. He said his AEW in-ring debut will come in time and he will show why they call him the “man of the hour.”
(5) JON MOXLEY vs. “DARK ORDER 10” PRESTON VANCE – Eliminator Tournament match
They showed highlights of 10 winning on Dark last night. Ross said he’s won 11 matches in a row. Moxley came out next. He landed a released German suplex right away. Mox knocked him to ringside and threw him into the ringside steps. He tore his mask and then bit his forehead. Ross compared it to a “savage animal.” 10 came up bleeding heavily from his forehead, but he fought back for a few seconds. Mox took him down hard with a clothesline and then pounded away at his forehead before landing a Paradigm Shift for the win. Mox then marched away through the crowd without acknowledging the fans at all. Medics tended to 10’s cut forehead, which was gushing.
WINNER: Moxley in 2:00 to advance.
-Schiavone interviewed FTR and Tully Blanchard backstage. Tully said they have hit the reset button and Penta & Fenix have no idea what’s coming their way. Dax vowed to win and said they’ll go down as the greatest tag team of all time. “Top guys, out,” he closed with.
-Cody’s entrance theme played. Fans booed. Cody was raised through the stage platform. He played to the crowd for cheers, then pyro blasted. Excalibur said they’d hear from him fresh off his victory on Saturday night. They stayed with Cody who was joined by Arn Anderson during a split-screen break. [c/ss]
-Back from the break, the boos were loud. Cody said, “Believe it or not, I hear you.” He said he hears old wrestling managers shouting at clouds on social media and he heard them on Saturday. He talked about beating Malikai Black. He said could have made another move and broken the covenant about not challenging for the World Title. He told fans he didn’t because that’d be the easy way out. He said they can cheer or boo, but if they’re going to boo the narrative, remember to boo the true narrative. He said nobody has any problem acknowledging the man who signs the checks, but don’t forget who built the bank. He said it’s not in his nature to take the easy way. He threw his shoes to the crowd and asked them to put themselves in his shoes. He talked about growing up in front of them, having a wife who’s too hot for him, and a brother who is “likely better than me.” He said he has no hope to top the cultural legacy of his father. He said therefore, “I will not turn.” He said he doesn’t mean to pander, but he loves the fans too much and he has his entire life. He said if he went too Hollywood, he apologizes to them. He apologized to the Nightmare Family and to Arn Anderson. He put his arm on Arn’s shoulder and said it’s an honor to stand in the ring with him. He told Arn he was right and shook his hand.
Andrade walked out and asked Cody who he thinks he is. “The people don’t like you,” he said. Andrade said he made stupid choices. He said an example is that stupid neck tattoo. He said he shouldn’t have gotten in his business. He entered the ring and said he can make him his little bitch. The lights went out (again). When they came back on. Malakai Black was next to Andrade. He sprayed mist at Cody’s eyes. They attacked Anderson too. Pac ran out for the save. He cleared the ring. Fans cheered Pac. Pac sat mid-ring and held up two middle fingers while laughing at them. Excalibur said it’s a strange alliance between Cody and Pac.
-Rampage plug: Danielson vs. Kingston, Sydal vs. Dante, and Baker vs. Abadon. Dynamite plug: Cody vs. Andrade, Anna Jay vs. Jamie Hayter, Orange Cassidy vs. Moxley in semi-final. [c]
(6) DARK ORDER (Colt Cabana & John Silver & Evil Uno & Stu Grayson) vs. THE ELITE (Adam Cole & The Young Bucks & Kenny Omega)
Dark Order came out in various Halloween outfits including Silver as “Bambi.” The Elite came out to a variation of the Ghostbusters theme song dressed up as Ghostbusters. They were joined by Michael Nakazawa who was in a giant baby outfit with a diaper. Presumably Brandon Cutler was dressed as a marshmallow man. When Omega tagged in, fans chanted “Cowboy Shit.” Ross suggested the referee make Omega take off his proton pack. Evil Uno splashed Omega, but hit the proton pack and ended up hurt from it. Nakazawa did a splash on Uno at ringside in the inflated giant baby outfit. Ross said: “Everyone is going to blame the referee, but it’s not his fault that these idiots won’t pay attention to the rules and they can create their own rules. These guys run this place.” Excalibur, Mr. Neutral, just continued on with his commentary. Grayson, Silver, Cabana, and Uno all tagged in within seconds of one another to ostensibly justify a 30 second four-on-one spot against Matt that included spraying him with cold spray in his face and then posing above his body. The other three Elite members charged in and they got bodyslammed and went on to sell the bodyslams longer than some finishing moves deep into serious matches as Dark Order struck another pose. [c/ss]
The Elite took over during the break. Grayson avoided a corner splash by Nick. He ducked a Young Bucks stereo superkick and then landed a flip stereo kick of his own. He leaped and hot-tagged Cabana who landed a springboard Asai moonsault. Cabana and the Bucks went into a choreographed sequence of moves that the crowd seemed to eat up with “ohhs and ahhs.” Ross seemed to shift to trying to talk about the match having actual ramifications, especially if Dark Order won. The Bucks cut off a Silver rally with stereo superkicks. Omega landed a snap dragon suplex. The Bucks hit Silver with stereo superkicks as fans were chanting “This is awesome!”
After chaos in the ring, Matt Jackson superkicked the ref by mistake when Grayson ducked. Matt used a low-blow on Grayson. Cole, Omega, and Nick low-blowed the rest of Dark Order. All four heels brought their Ghostbuster proton packs into the ring and charged into all four Dark Order members mid-ring. It was an especially choreographed-looking scenario as the four Dark Order members were doing a cartoonishly long selling and stood slowly mid-ring and made faces as they waited for The Elite to milk the moment and then charge at them from all side and crash into them. Then they powerbombed Cabana onto the pile of proton packs. Marshmallow Man entered the ring. Other Dark Order members ran to the ring for the save including a horse. Matt kicked the horse between his legs as the horse seemed to be trying to tell them something. They landed a four-way BTE Trigger as Excalibur guessed it was Vance from Dark Order. It turned out it was Brandon Cutler who they had attacked. His mouth was duct-taped shut. That meant Marshmallow Man wasn’t Cutler. Marshmallow Man took off his head and it was Hangman Page. The crowd roared. He attacked Matt Jackson. Grayson flip dove onto a crowd of Elite members at ringside. Meanwhile, Hangman hit Dead Eye on Omega. Silver then pinned Matt after a Spin Doctor. Hangman removed his costume and celebrated with Dark Order as fans chanted “Cowboy Shit!” The announcers hyped Rampage as they replayed the finish of the match as the lead-in to the NHL game immediately following Dynamite on TNT.
WINNERS: Dark Order in 13:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: Well, either this was an irreverent fun time that showed a mix of AEW wrestlers in a loose and humorous environment with slapstick comedy spots and a more serious twist at the end that built up the Full Gear PPV main event, or it was a self-indulgent juvenile mess that is a disgrace to pro wrestling and defines their top acts in a way that is usually reserved for lower card nonsense and 24/7 Title level shenanigans.)