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The following report originally published 20 years ago this week here at PWTorch.com.
WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW REPORT
FEBRUARY 27, 2006
LIVE FROM WASHINGTON D.C.
REPORT BY WADE KELLER, EDITOR
-The show opened with footage of the Vince McMahon-Shawn Michaels storyline with the Spirit Squad and Marty Jannetty and the “Kiss My Ass Club.”
-After the Raw opening, Joey Styles, Coach, and Jerry Lawler introduced the show. The graphic showed Vince bent over with his pants dropped and a photo of Jannetty looking like he just saw, well, McMahon’s bum. They also previewed Trish vs. Candice Michelle.
-Edge then came out to a full ring intro with Lita. He said he wanted to hear Mick Foley’s answer – yes or no. “I don’t know if you’re going to whore yourself out to another indy show or write another book no one’s going to read, but surely this has to be your best option. So what’s it going to be, Mick?” He said if Mick didn’t answer their challenge, they’d have to make a house call. Foley then came out to his full ring intro in his signature sweat pants and flannel shirt. He snuck in the cheap pop for Washington D.C.
Then he said it was Edge who lost to John Cena at the Royal Rumble and again two weeks ago on Raw. He said Edge choked and should blame himself. Edge said the only choking that will be done is him wrapping his hand around his throat. Foley said his answer is no. He said Edge may have called him a transitional champion, but he held the title three times, making him “the greatest transitional champion of all time.” He said he has nothing to prove. Edge said, “That’s right, because you’re the great Mick Foley.” The crowd chanted “Foley, Foley.”
Edge said Foley will be remembered only for three things – getting his ear ripped off, being thrown off the Hell in a Cell, and showing up at Vince McMahon’s hospital bed with a sock puppet. Edge said, “You do have something to prove because you’ve never won at WrestleMania.” He said there were some DQs, but he never had a classic, legend-making WrestleMania performance that he craves. “But me, the Rated-R Superstar, I’ve never lost at WrestleMania.” He brought up various gimmick matches he’s won over the years.
Foley said Edge clearly cares more about him than he cares about Edge. He said he is right that he desires a big WrestleMania moment. He said he rejects Edge’s challenge to a wrestling match, but he does challenge him to a different kind of match: “You and me at WrestleMania in a hardcore match.” Foley then grabbed a barbed wire baseball bat. Edge and Lita fled through the crowd as Foley approached the ring.
-They showed Kane and Big Show with tag title belts in hand approaching the entrance tunnel.
[Commercial Break]
1 — KANE & BIG SHOW vs. VISCERA & VAL VENIS
Coach said Val & Viscera became no. 1 contenders on WWE.com Heat recently. Val used an eye poke to slow Kane for all of two seconds before Kane gave him a boot to the face. Kane splashed Viscera in the corner at 1:45. Viscera no-sold it and gave Kane a samoan drop for a two count. Viscera looks bigger than ever. Show took Viscera down with a flying shoulder tackle. Val charged into the ring. Show gave him a boot to the face. He then bodyslammed Viscera which drew a pop from the crowd. Show followed with a legdrop for a near fall. Val broke up the three count. Kane gave Val a top rope clothesline, then clotheslined him over the top rope to the floor. Show and Kane double chokeslammed Viscera for a three count.
WINNERS: Kane & Show at 3:30.
STAR RATING:
[Commercial Break]
-Todd Grisham interviewed Ric Flair backstage, who talked about just celebrating his 57th birthday. He said people years ago thought he had experienced his last title reign, but he proves them wrong time after time. He said if someone thinks he doesn’t have another reign in him, they don’t know the Nature Boy. Good to see Flair get some mic time, something I suggested in my Torch Today BLOG over the weekend.
-Marty Jannetty approached Shawn Michaels backstage. He said he helped a friend last week. He said he has never kissed any ass, but now things are a little different. He said he’s a little older and doesn’t have a job or a car. He said he wouldn’t have a place to live if it wasn’t for a friend of his. He told him to stay out of his business and let him do what he must because he “needs this job.”
-Maria interviewed Carlito. She said he has an announcement. Carlito said something in Spanish. She seemed impressed. He said he told her that her beauty is matched by her wisdom. Carlito then announced that he got word that there will be another Money in the Bank ladder match at WrestleMania. Maria asked who would be in the match. Carlito said he would be in it, but there would be three qualifying matches where nobody would know who they are facing. He said he would win his match and then go on to WrestleMania.
[Commercial Break]
2 — ROB VAN DAM vs. TREVOR MURDOCH — Money in Bank Qualifier
Trevor attacked RVD at the start. RVD came back and went for a dive off the top turnbuckle to the floor. Murdoch moved and RVD landed hard. Murdoch then dominated offense for a couple minutes with a series of two chinlocks and a sleeper – about as mundane a sequence as you can dream up. RVD came back, hit his signature spots, and won after a Five-Star Frog Splash
WINNER: RVD at 5:50.
STAR RATING: 3/4* — Disappointing. Were three chinlocks really necessary? Is there nothing more interesting in Murdoch’s list of options to entertain viewers in an attempt to “wear down and beat up RVD”?
[Commercial Break]
ARTICLE CONTINUED BELOW…
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3 — TRISH STRATUS vs. CANDICE MICHELLE
Mickie James introduced Trish. Torrie Wilson introduced Candice. Candice attacked Trish before the bell. Lawler said he wanted to call Candice’s parents and thank them. Candice dominated with clunky offense. Torrie was caught interfering on Candice’s behalf. Trish then rolled her up for a quick three count. Mickie bowed at Trish’s feet after the match and wanted a hug. Trish hugged Trish on her knees, with her hands planted firmly on her ass and her face buried on Trish’s crotch. Lawler even said he was getting embarrassed. Trish shoved her off and looked violated and offended. Mickie didn’t get why she embarrassed. her off. Trish walked away with a look of disgust as Mickie wondered why Trish reacted that way.
WINNER: Trish at 1:52.
STAR RATING: 1/4*
-Coach plugged that he’d interview John Cena next.
[Commercial Break]
-Torrie told Candice the loss isn’t a big deal because she has her Playboy being released next week. Candice slapped Torrie and stormed off.
-Coach introduced John Cena. Cena wore his “Hustle, Loyalty, Respect” t-shirt. Styles said Coach has been talking about the interview all day long. Coach talked up Triple H as “probably the greatest wrestler alive today” and asked Cena if he “really thought he had a chance” against him.” He said it’d be like taking candy from a baby. Cena yanked the mic away from Coach and removed his sunglasses. When the mic didn’t work, Styles asked if there was a headset like that (perhaps meaning it would be a relief to announce without Vince McMahon yapping constantly in his ear?). Cena looked diminutive next to Coach, standing an inch or so shorter than him. If there is a dress code in WWE that makes sense, it would be announcers aren’t allowed to wear raised heels on their boots or shoes when interviewing wrestlers, especially wrestlers who are wearing tennis shoes.
Hunter’s music interrupted before Cena could speak. He walked to the ring. Hunter told Coach he could handle things from here, then shoed Coach out of the ring. Hunter said he knows he doesn’t need Coach to tell him how great he is, but “please, please tell me that you weren’t just about to tell the whole world that you can beat me.” Cena said it’s true he doesn’t have his resume and, like some of the people in the crowd, he doesn’t have his respect. “But going into WrestleMania, there is one thing I got that you don’t, and that’s this.” The crowd booed.
Hunter said, “Well, excuse me if I’m not afraid of the guy whose one big move is pumping up his Reeboks.” The crowd laughed. Hunter said he heard Edge and Foley earlier talking about transitional champions. He said a transitional champion is someone who is in the right place at the right time and happens to win a title, but it’s just a matter of time before that championship belt goes back around the deserving waist. “Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want people to think I don’t think John Cena is tough,” said Hunter, who noted that he takes a lot of ass kickings and keeps getting back up and up and up. He compared him to Rocky Balboa by having heart and desire and dedication, but “you happen to not be a very good wrestler.” He said Rocky always found a way to win, “but this isn’t the movies, John, and in real life, you can’t beat the Bad Guy.” Cena said, “You just won me 20 bucks in the I Know What Triple H Is Going to Say When He Comes Out Here pool.” Decent line, but it got boos.
Cena asked what makes Hunter any different than any of the others who have said the same thing to him. Hunter said he doesn’t even have to answer that question because he knows the answer to it. “You know what makes me different from everybody else I’ve faced,” he said. “The fact is, looking into your eyes, that scares the crap out of you.” Cena said, “Facts! You want facts? You are right, I am not the company’s greatest athlete. Fact. You are a ten time World Champion. Fact. You have beaten most every superstar in this business.” He said he’s one of the few who can walk to the ring without a title and say he is one of the greatest and fans nod. He said that doesn’t make him scared, though. He said on his list of names he’s beaten, one name isn’t there: John Cena.
Vince McMahon said he had news for them. They may know they are wrestling each other at WrestleMania, but they don’t know that they are going to be tag team partners in a match against the three Smackdown Title match contestants, Rey Mysterio, Randy Orton, and Kurt Angle in the main event of Saturday Night’s Main Event. “And good luck to both of you,” he said. That’s a good main even for SNME, one that doesn’t give away an actual WrestleMania match-up, but provides plenty of options for hyping the match and gets all of the top stars involved in what will be designed to be a highly rated segment. Good mic work from both Cena and Hunter. Not great, but good. What it should be at this point in the process. The idea was to try to acknowledge Cena’s weaknesses and then build him up as fighting hard to overcome them and never showing quit to paint him as the underdog. Of course, the point was also to present Hunter in a way that made him seem like a bigger star than anyone, which always carries risk.
[Commercial Break]
4 — CHAVO GUERRERO vs. SHELTON BENJAMIN (w/Mama Benjamin)
When Mama fell out of her wheel chair, the ref checked on her. Randy Orton ran in and interfered, leading to Shelton getting the win.
WINNER: Shelton in 5:00.
STAR RATING: *1/4
[Commercial Break]
-A video aired of Gene Okerlund announcing that he’d be inducted into the Hall of Fame this year. The video made it seem like he lived as interesting a life as anyone. Lots of crazy clips and footage of him with Hulk Hogan.
-Vince McMahon talked to someone on his cell phone about William Regal being a great ass kisser. He hung up and in walked Shawn Michaels. He told Michaels he must have come to see his good friend kiss his ass. Michaels begged McMahon to “please leave Marty out of this.” That’s where Michaels blew it, and gave Marty an excuse to turn on him, because Marty offered to
-Carlito awaited his opponent in the ring.
[Commercial Break]
5 — CARLITO vs. RIC FLAIR — Money in the Bank Qualifier
Some early chops and even a chinlock for good measure. Then they cut to a break.
[Commercial Break]
Carlito dominated, then got cocky and filled his mouth with apple. As he was about to spit at Flair, Flair kicked him in the gut, covered him, and grabbed the top rope for leverage to score a three count. Carlito got bug-eyed in shock at losing his chance at Money in the Bank.
WINNER: Flair at 12:00.
STAR RATING: * — Flair would be worth a lot more to WWE if he wrestled three times a year on TV and three times a year on PPV max than 52 weeks a year on TV and 12 times a year on PPV. At this stage, every match he has waters down his legendary status rather than milks it.
-Vince McMahon dropped the right side of his pants and revealed his right buttock and slapped and rubbed it.
[Commercial Break]
-After the Spirit Squad cheered from enter ring, Vince McMahon introduced Marty Jannetty, leaving him no room for dignity. He said he is destitute and in need of a job. Jannetty admitted that is true. Vince said Marty is no different than everyone in the crowd – they all need their jobs and will do whatever it takes to keep it, including kissing their boss’s ass. He dropped his pants to reveal basically a g-string. He used his shirt to cover up his front side. He had Marty get on his knees, then bent over and shoved his ass in his face. He ordered Marty to kiss it. Marty, barely able to keep a straight face, decided not to. McMahon pulled his pants up and looked at Marty and asked angrily, “Do you refuse to kiss my ass!” Marty said there must be another way.
McMahon called for Chris Masters to come out. Masters was standing by ready, apparently, as he stepped out immediately with his full ring intro. McMahon said the other option is to do something no one has ever done, and that is break Masters’s Masterlock. A chair was set up in center ring. McMahon said Marty may not know what the Masterlock is, but he would know it as a full nelson. Marty sat in the chair.
Masters applied the Masterlock and yanked Jannetty violently back and forth. As Marty showed resistance, McMahon kicked Marty between the legs. McMahon then said Marty is going to kiss his ass whether he likes it or not. Masters shoved Jannetty’s face in McMahon’s ass. Michaels’s music played and he ran to the ring. Michaels punched Masters, then knocked him out of the ring with a superkick. Michaels then stood in the ring in front of McMahon, whose pants were dropped below his knees. McMahon begged off. Shane McMahon jumped Michaels from behind. Lawler said he came out from under the ring. Shane nailed Michaels with the chair again.
Vince said if he wants to face a McMahon so badly, he would be facing Shane one-on-one in a street fight at Saturday Night’s Main Event. Shane whispered in Vince’s ear. Vince said it was a brilliant idea. Vince then told Michaels he was going to have to kiss his ass. Shane lifted Michaels and shoved him at Vince’s ass. He shoved Michaels’s mouth up against Vince’s ass. The crowd “eeww’d.” Vince announced, “Shawn Michaels has just kissed my ass. You just kissed my ass, but I’m going to be kicking yours at WrestleMania.” The announcers said, “Huh?!” Coach said he didn’t say there would be a match, he just said he’d be kicking his ass. Coach said the next five weeks are going to be the longest five weeks of his life. Shane and Vince walked to the back celebrating their deed. They replayed it, then signed off.
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