SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
The following report originally published 20 years ago this week here at PWTorch.com…
WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
MAY 5, 2006
TAPED IN LONDON, ENGLAND
REPORT BY WADE KELLER, PWTORCH EDITOR
-A video recap aired of last week’s Mark Henry attack on Kurt Angle.
-After the Smackdown opening, Michael Cole and Tazz introduced the show. Cole said now that Angle is out of the title picture thanks to Henry, a new challenger is lined up for Mysterio.
-Rey Mysterio came out to his full ring intro. Cole and Tazz talked about the newly announced Rey vs. JBL match at Judgment Day. The tone of how Cole talked about Rey’s title reign was that it was inevitably going to be short and it was just a matter of time, which fits the tone the promotion has had from the beginning regarding Rey. Rey began by saying every day he wakes up as champion is a gift, and he’s loving every minute of it.
Rey said last week as he was in the anklelock, he was getting ready to tapout. “I knew it was all over,” he said. JBL then interrupted. Good. To have a current champion on a roster that’s stripped down for various reasons (injury, suspension) admitting he was going to tapout last week doesn’t exactly add any credibility to his reign. JBL said he doesn’t need Miss Cleo to know when it’s over. He said at Judgment Day, he must face “the only wrestling god, the epitome of the true American hero.” He called Rey the “epitome of a masked illegal immigrant.” You knew JBL would “go there” this week.
JBL said there is a place in his America for “illegals.” He said a million of his people went on strike earlier in the week. “You shut down schools, you shut down businesses all across the United States of America,” he said. He said he agrees with his cause. The crowd chanted “Eddie, Eddie.” JBL said the fans long for the days he and Eddie feuded. He said they only care about Eddie and JBL, but not Rey. He said they don’t care enough about him to chant his name. He then paused, expecting a “Rey, Rey” chant, but it didn’t come, so he was pretty much proven right. He went back to the planned talking points. He said he respects the Spanish culture because they serve him. “After all, we need you and your kind for rich people like me,” he said. “Because after all, America, listen to reason; do you really want to clean your own toilets?”
He said he respects the Spanish culture. When JBL said the “it’s not the size of the dog in the fight…” saying, Rey asked if he was calling him a dog. JBL said he’s not calling him a dog, he’s calling him a Mexican. “And Mexicans have problems,” he said. “They call it machismo. You feel you have to beat your chest and prove something – prove what everybody knows, that you don’t deserve to carry that championship.” JBL said Rey was playing the sympathy card at WrestleMania by dedicating his win to Eddie Guerrero and having Eddie’s widow raise his arm in victory.
JBL said he’ll share something in common with Eddie when he’s done with him because they’ll both have lost their titles to JBL. Rey said he’ll fight anyone at anytime. JBL said if he’s really a man of his word, he has an opponent lined up for him. Out came Mark Henry. Why was Henry just waiting backstage ready to walk out? How did JBL and Henry know Rey would say he’d face anyone at anytime? Henry walked out and got in Rey’s face. Cole said Rey would have to face him “tonight.” The picture implied the match was next, but Cole’s vague timeline gave away that it wouldn’t be taking place right after the break or he would have said, as he always does, “it’s next!”
[Commercial Break]
-Sharmell walked out and introduced Booker T. He walked out and admired the King of the Ring throne and robe that were setting on the stage. Booker sat on the throne. Tazz said he was trying it on for size. “I don’t think we can handle King Booker,” said Cole. Cole said Booker is now in the finals because Angle cannot wrestle in the semi-finals due to Henry injuring his ribs last week.
1 — BOOKER T (w/Shamell) vs. GUNNER SCOTT
Before the match, they replayed Gunner’s Smackdown debut win over Booker thanks to a distraction by Boogeyman. Cole said there’s a good article at WWE.com on Gunner Scott’s background. Sharmell is so good at ringside. The reason she’s so effective, besides natural charisma, is her willingness to get totally into her role as if she is watching her man in a real fight. So often managers get cartoony and stereotypical as if the target audience are eight year olds (Scott D’Amore). Sharmell knows just how far to exaggerate her reactions to be funny and heelish without overdoing it. In the end, Sharmell held Scott’s foot as Booker distracted the ref, then Booker kicked a distracted Scott. Booker then hit a scissors kick for the win.
WINNER: Booker in 6:00.
STAR RATING: * — Forgettable match.
-Booker stood on the announcers’ table after the match. He said he “just beat Gunner Something.” He said it was a shame Angle got hurt because he was going to beat him down just as well. He talked about moving on to the finals of the KOTR tournament. He said it made no difference whether it was Fit Finlay or Chris Benoit, he’d beat either with one arm tied behind his back. He said the fans, whom he referred to as his subjects, need to get used to bowing down at his feet.
[Commercial Break]
-Ring introductions took place for Brian Kendrick & Paul London vs. MNM for the tag team titles. MNM attacked London & Kendrick from behind before the match began. Unlike usual, where the ref signals for the bell as soon as there’s a pre-match attack, there was no official start to this. Instead, MNM gave their Snap Shot finisher to both Kendrick and London. When Kendrick showed sings of life, they gave him a second Snap Shot. Tazz said they were getting revenge on Kendrick and London after gettiing embarassed by them in recent weeks. Cole guessed that the tag title match wouldn’t take place as scheduled, but he expected to receive word from G.M. Teddy Long.
[Commercial Break]
-A video feature aired on Tatanka at an Lakota Tribe reservation. It talked about a being reborn in a ceremony where a man is put in a sauna or sorts to experience “Inipi,” which was defined as “The rite of purification to live again.” The narrator said Tatanka has chosen to take on that journey to “live again.” Next week, a second segment with Tatanka “entering the Lakota tribe.” Well, if they’re going to push Tatanka, a reintroduction of his character was needed.
-Long told Daivari and The Great Khali that Undertaker had challenged him to a match at Judgment Day. Khali yelled and signed the contract. Cole said they finally heard from Undertaker.
-Fit Finlay’s ring introduction took place.
[Commercial Break]
2 — FIT FINLAY vs. CHRIS BENOIT – King of the Ring Semi-Final
Tazz said he was amped up for this match. Tazz did a nice job calling some jiujitsu holds Benoit applied early in the match. Finlay leveraged himself on top of Benoit, but Benoit punched him and went for an armbar from underneath. At 4:00 they stood up again and went nose-to-nose literally. Finlay took Benoit down with a stiff clothesline. “These are just two bad-ass men,” said Cole. Finlay dominated offense for several minutes and tied Benoit up in the ring apron at one point. Benoit fought back with an armbar attempt at 11:00, but Finlay reached the ropes. When Benoit fought back a minute later with a german suplex and several chops, Finlay bailed out and threw a fit at ringside. He chairs into the ring in frustration.
[Commercial Break]
At 15:00 they returned to the match with Benoit on offense. They showed a clip from during the break of Benoit slidekicking Finlay’s ankle, knocking him to the floor. Benoit threw chops in the corner which Finlay sold well. Finlay begged off in the corner. Benoit kept on him. Finlay reversed Benoit into the corner turnbuckles, then applied a long chinlock followed by a sleeper. Benoit escaped with a jawbreaker, but Finlay took Benoit back to the mat with a side headlock. Not that I’d want to be put in a headlock by Finlay, but it’s not the most exciting thing to watch on a Friday night when there are 300 other channels out there. Finlay charged at Benoit in the corner at 19:00, but Benoit moved. Finlay went shoulder-first into the cornerpost. Benoit hit a series of german suplexes, but when he went for his top rope headbutt, Finlay moved. Finlay then grabbed his shillaly. When he swung it at Benoit, Benoit ducked and backdropped him to the floor. Benoit then grabbed the shillaly. The ref yanked it from him. Finlay then surprised Benoit with a chairshot jab to the throat. Finlay then hit his finisher for the win. After the match, Finlay sat in the king throne on the stage.
WINNER: Finlay in 20:00.
STAR RATING: ** — Flat out too many long rudimentary matholds (i.e. boring to watch for entertainment purposes in a worked match in 2006) to be an above-average match.
[Commercial Break]
ARTICLE CONTINUED BELOW…
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3 — THE GYMINI (Jake & Jesse w/Simon Dean) vs. SCOTTY 2 HOTTY & FUNAKI
When I hear Scotty’s intro music, it makes me think of an opening match at a near empty arena house show when you start questioning your decision on how to spend an evening. Talk about a character that needs to be retired. Tazz complimented Cole on his call of the Benoit-Finlay match, adding, “Not quite as good as Joey Styles would have called it, but some day you’ll get it.” I think Tazz was dripping with sarcasm, but it wasn’t obvious. Gymini won with their “Crash Diet” finisher on Scotty.
WINNER: Gymini in 3:00.
STAR RATING: DUD.
-A video feature aired on “See No Evil.”
-Bobby Lashley barged into Booker and Sharmell’s locker room. Lashley said when he was talking about the tournament, he forget about him. Booker said he’s a tough kid, but he’s no match for Booker T. Lashley predicted he’d beat Booker, then added, “Now can you dig that, sucker?” Sharmell, who was in her bra when Lashley barged in, stood covering herself the whole time.
[Commercial Break]
4 — SUPER CRAZY vs. NUNZIO (w/Big Vito) vs. KID KASH — No. 1 Contender’s Match
The winner would get to face Gregory Helms at Judgment Day for the Cruiserweigvht Title. Super Crazy did a backflip onto Vito, Nunzio, and Kash at ringside 30 seconds into the match. The Great Khali then walked out to ringside. He chopped Vito aside, then beat up Kid Kash, Crazy, and Nunzio. Crazy dove at Khali, but Khali didn’t budget and just shoved him aside. When your World Champion is Rey Mysterio, it makes no sense to have this type of angle. When people say “cruiserweight don’t draw,” it’s because of angles like this that WWE makes sure that false assumption ends up true. The focus by the announcers was on Khali and Undertaker, not the state of the no. 1 contendership for the Cruiserweight Title, further demeaning the title and the division.
WINNER: No contest in 2:00.
[Commercial Break]
-The Raw Rebound aired.
-Cole and Tazz ran down the Judgment Day line-up.
-JBL came out again. Cole wondered what he was doing out there. JBL joined Cole and Tazz at ringside.
[Commercial Break]
5 — REY MYSTERIO vs. MARK HENRY
JBL said Henry is a good warm-up for Rey, but he is better than Henry. JBL said Rey is not a great champion, but he will be for the third time. JBL told Cole, “You shut your pie hole, Michael Cole, and show me some respect. I am the one – listen to me, son – I am the one who pays your salary by drawing rating, by putting fans in seats. I am carrying the company on these shoulders right there.” Tazz said he is right. Cole said he is surprised he doesn’t like him because he’s not a Mexican, he’s like him. JBL said he is not like him and that is an insult. “I’ve had bigger bar tabs than you’ve had salaries,” said JBL.
Rey out-quicked Henry in the opening minute, but JBL said his offense wasn’t phasing Henry. Henry swatted Rey to the mat at 2:00 and then tossed him out of the ring. When JBL got up and pounded on the ring apron and trash-talked Rey, Rey slidekicked JBL. Henry shoulder blocked Rey to the mat as Rey flew at him. JBL returned to commentary. “Mark Henry is eating Rey like a 3.99 pizza buffet,” said JBL. Cole got worked up by saying Rey represents America because he’s an underdog who made it. JBL said America is about strength and dominance.
Henry continued to brush off Rey’s attempt at offense. “I have too much money to be wrong,” said JBL, who was on a Quotebook rally himself. Henry charged the corner, but Rey moved. Rey then ducked another Henry charge. He hit “a standing senton” (as Cole calls it) and then hit a top rope splash for a two count.
Henry rolled up with Rey in his arms in a cool spot and set up a powerslam. Rey, though, swung around into a DDT, then dropkicked Henry into the ropes and hit a 619. He followed with a flying bodyblock, but Henry caught him in mid-air and poweslammed him for a clean three count.
WINNER: Mysterio in 6:00.
STAR RATING: *1/2 — Wow, they had their babyface champ lose clean in a non-title match for no reason other than to, well, show that he can’t even beat Mark Henry. The match was booked well in terms of being as exciting and believable as possible with such a mismatch of size and styles.
-Henry dragged Rey up the rampway. Even JBL showed concern at this point, thinking Henry might take things too far. He threw Rey into the entrance set of Smackdown, then was about to leap off the ledge onto Rey. JBL stepped in and begged Henry to stop. He said if he stops, when he wins the title, his first defense will be against him. “Trust me, I promise you, Mark,” said JBL. Oh, great, we have a JBL vs. Henry feud to look forward to. JBL then slapped Rey’s face as he was knocked out cold on his back. JBL said he didn’t do so well in his match. He said next week, in his hometown of San Diego, he can prove he’ll face anyone anywhere by facing The Great Khali. Well, I guess what I said about Khali attacking the cruiserweights earlier was just the start of a trend to prove big men rule.
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