Roman Reigns is one of the most divisive and talked about WWE performers in history. The company makes desperate play after desperate play to make him their number one star – thus far to no avail. How do they do it? What do they do?
I’m Tom Colohue and this is the Monday Night Reigns-o-meter.
Monday Night Reigns-o-Meter
So on last night’s special WCW themed episode of Raw (more on that story later) we opened with an intro video that made Roman Reigns look super special. That’s important. Roman Reigns is super special, and he’s no longer out injured so be prepared. He’s back, and better than ever, and your opinion don’t matter, et cetera.
After we hear the phrase “Big dog” and “yard” another 4,000 times, Kurt Angle comes to the ring and declares the StRoman feud over. Now I didn’t know that a GM could just declare a feud over but evidently this is now kayfabe. The girl at McDonalds who keeps spitting in my fries? Feud over. Now gimme my fries.
Kurt shills 5 potential matches against Brock Lesnar. By far the biggest reaction is for Roman Reigns. Yes, it’s quite the reaction. That reaction will take Reigns all the way to the bank. Such a passionate reaction. I mean everyone else received some cheers and some boos, but what a “reaction.”
Roman comes out first to politely not interrupt a Kurt Angle who seems stunned and furious when his own music plays before Roman’s much cooler track. Reigns cuts what we’ve come to know and love as his standard heel promo. It’s a very smooth and polished promo, with plenty of room given for people to boo him to hell. Classic patronising Roman is back.
Just like after last Wrestlemania. Hmm. I wonder if he’ll be fighting a former Bullet Club leader again and playing up the “I’m bigger than you” card. Hmm.
Randomly, a fight breaks out. Rollins against Joe! Balor against Wyatt! Oh, and Roman. Well, I guess he better interrupt these 2 popular and exciting feuds now that he doesn’t have an opponent any more. He punches Wyatt for a bit, then ends up getting beaten up by Finn Balor. Roman ends the segment laid down on the outside of the ring.
This is so that we think he might lose, obviously. Odds odds odds. I miss Roman Oddsslayer. Gives me plenty of material, you know?
Later, a match happens. Roman and Balor line up to face off in the main event. 2 huge stars cross paths for the first time since almost 9 months ago. 2 franchise players, 2…I’m sorry, 1 of 2 main events? So not the main event then. Yes, but the main event goes on last, doesn’t it? So this isn’t the main event. Shut up Michael Cole.
So Roman Reigns is not in the main event. #fireHHH, am I right?
Balor stands in the ring to watch the StRoman finale segment on TV again. There’s a lot of standing around watching TV in this one. And yet, paradoxically, less standing at a sideways angle watching an actual TV backstage. I didn’t see that once.
So anyway, a match happens! Roman Reigns goes up against a former Bullet Club leader on the eve of Extreme Rules. The underdog, Balor uses Reigns’ size against him after an initial onslaught of heelish bullying from Roman. I half expected The Usos to run in, but alas, that bloodline was broken by the machinations of fate! (Vince McMahon is obviously fate in this scenario)
Oh, and Roman wins, obviously.
He’s back, baby.
– Bray Wyatt
– Finn Balor
– Finn Balor Again
– His Own Major Injuries
– The Hatred of A Whole Arena
Did Roman Reigns beat the odds?
Took that spear into the ring post bump beautifully though, didn’t he?
NOW CHECK OUT LAST WEEK’S ARTICLE: MONDAY NIGHT REIGNS-O-METER #17: Tracking Roman Reigns’s ability to beat the odds and come out on top