SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
The following report was originally published five years ago this week on PWTorch.com…
KELLER’S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
DECEMBER 28, 2012
TAPED 12/19 IN ROCHESTER, N.Y.
AIRED ON SYFY
-The show opened with clips of Sheamus bashing The Big Show with repeated chairshots. Also, clips of the A.J. Lee-John Cena-Dolph Ziggler saga.
-They went live to the arena, skipping the SD opening, as Josh Mathews introduced the show alongside JBL. Sheamus made his ring entrance.
-Sheamus stood mid-ring and said he hoped everyone had a Merry Christmas. He said he drank egg nog flavored ale, was gifted a bunch of bad ties, and was given a year’s worth of sun screen from his mom.
(WK Reax: Sheamus’s character seems nice, but he’s not all that funny. Maybe that’s part of his charm, like that person you know who tells awful jokes that aren’t funny, but you look forward to them because he enjoys telling them and cracks himself up so much.)
Sheamus called out Big Show. Show walked out and told the fans not to boo him. He asked Sheamus if he looks like Santa Claus. Sheamus said, “Yes, but in fairness to Santa, you’re way fatter.” Show fake laughed and said that’s so cute. He told him to go into stand-up comedy where he’ll have as much of a chance of success as he will getting another title shot against him.
He said Sheamus always comes up short when it counts, which is why he will never tell him who or when he defends his title again. Sheamus said he came for a fight, and if he can’t get a title shot, he’ll take a straight up fight. As things heated up, Booker T walked onto the stage and told Sheamus that Show is right, that he beat him at TLC. Show said, “Back of the line, Ginger Snap.” Booker said Sheamus beat Show on Monday night, though.
Show interrupted and said he’s done with Sheamus and he isn’t worthy of another shot at his title. He said there isn’t one single athlete in the locker room who is worthy of a shot at his title. He called it a locker room full of losers and wanna-bes and rejects. Booker said he’s sorry he feels that way, but he will be in action tonight. Show asked, with proper grammar: “Against whom?” Booker said he’s going to bring every WWE Superstar onto the stage tonight and “all of those losers” will be entered in a tumbler, including Sheamus, and his opponent will be randomly drawn and get a title shot.
(WK Reax: This makes Booker T seems like a complete idiot as G.M. and totally cheapens the concept of having to earn a precious World Title shot. Imagine Dana White throwing the names of all of the Middleweights, no matter what their record, into a tumbler and giving a title shot against Anderson Silva to the person drawn. It might seem like harmless fun to fill a TV show segment, but this stuff adds up considering WWE’s second bigger PPV is built around winning a Royal Rumble to earn a title shot.)
The wrestlers walked not onto the stage and then a table was brought out with a tumbler. Teddy Long and Eve argued over who would spin it to the point that it fell over. Booker drew a name and Santino Marella was the “winner” of the title shot. Show laughed and had a brief staredown with Santino.
(WK Reax: If Santino’s character was still fresh, maybe people would be excited to see this, but he’s such a mid-card comedy act right now who has been around forever, this hardly seems like a ratings-generating angle.) [c]
-WWE Fact: The WWE Universe views over 190 million photos per month on WWE.com – that’s over 70 photos per second.
(1) Brodus Clay (w/Naomi, Cameron) beat Primo (w/Epico, Rosa Mendez) in 1:00.
(Quotebook – JBL on Brodus Clay: “This is what would happen if Lady Gaga and the Yeti had a kid.”)
After his win, Rosa yelled at Clay. The Clay dancers double-suplexed Rosa and then flip-legdropped her. Primo yanked her out of the ring to her safety. Clay invited little kids into the ring to dance.
-Mathews plugged the six-man main event tag coming up next. [c]
-They went to Santino and Sheamus backstage. Sheamus gave Santino a pep talk and taught him the Brogue Kick. Santino, though, pulled a muscle trying to practice it. Santino played the leg injury in a very over the top manner with loud noises and crazy facial expressions while acting like a dying cockroach on the floor.
(2) Team Rhodes Scholars (Cody Rhodes & Damien Sandow) & Wade Barrett beat Kane & Daniel Bryan & Kofi Kingston when Barrett pinned Kingston at 8:00. Mathews said Cody & Sandow came together because Bryan and Kane weren’t getting along so they were vulnerable to losing the tag titles, but now Bryan and Kane say they are best friends. They cut to a break at 2:00. [c]
After the break, Sandow had Bryan down. The heels isolated Bryan and tagged in and out. Kofi got the hot-tag and took it to Barrett and scored a two count after a top rope body press. When Sandow and Cody interfered, Kane attacked them. Bryan helped. They fought at ringside. Barrett KO’d a distracted Kofi with a bull hammer for the win. Mathews and JBL said that pin by Barrett could earn him an IC Title match against Kingston.
-At ringside, JBL and Mathews announced that Santino was out of his scheduled match against Show.
-Backstage Show said it was a tough break for Santino, but he figured that meant he got the night off and he could start his new year early. Booker insisted there will still be a World Title match. Show smiled and said Santino can’t compete. Booker asked Long to roll the tumbler back into the his office. Show asked how that is even remotely fair. Booker drew a name and refused to tell Show who it was until later. [c]
-Booker revealed to Big Show that he drew Ricardo Rodrigues’s name from the tumbler. Show laughed and put the title belt over Ricardo shoulder. He taunted him and told him to imagine himself as the World Champion. “Feel it!” he said. Ricardo’s voice cracked and he announced himself as the champion, but Show then slapped him. Booker asked what’s wrong with him.
(WK Reax: Again, they are telling a charming little TV storyline that’s good for some laughs and to get Show over as a bully, but at the expense of any pretense that someone has to actually be qualified and earn a World Title shot. It’s just not worth it. The World Title, if nothing else, should be protected more than this.)
(3) Antonio Cesaro beat Zack Ryder in 3:00. Mathews congratulated Ryder on reaching one million Twitter followers. Cesaro got in early offense. Ryder made a comeback at 2:00. JBL called his Broski Boot the silliest thing he’s seen in his life. Cesaro avoided it and Cesaro finished him off with his Neutralizer.
-A clip aired of Big E. Langston’s debut on Smackdown last week. JBL plugged Miz vs. Ziggler was coming up later. [c]
-A commercial aired hyping the Best of 2012 edition of Saturday Morning Slam including the “monumental Saturday Morning Slam debut of John Cena.”
(4) Dolph Ziggler (w/A.J. Lee, Big E. Langston) pinned The Miz in 11:00. JBL disagreed that the Money in the Bank briefcase was used as a prize to be put up in a match. He said when you win it, it’s yours. JBL said if he slapped Mathews every time he annoyed him, it’d sound like applause. Mathews said Miz claims to be WWE’s best color commentator. JBL said he’s no. 2, so that’s close. What about Jerry Lawler? Miz tossed Ziggler over the top rope to ringside, and Langston caught him to save him from crashing. Ziggler took over back in the ring with a neck breaker and a quick two count at 3:00. They cut to a break at 5:00. [c]
Eventually Miz took control and rallied. He blew a kiss to A.J. at ringside. She told Langston to go after Miz. Miz turned to look at Langston as he climbed the ringside steps. Ziggler then hit the Zig Zag on the distracted Miz for the win. Afterward, as Ziggler celebrated with Lee and Langston, a groggy Miz told A.J. no matter which WWE Superstar she is with, everyone knows her New Year’s will end with a bang. He called her sweetheart. Ziggler charged back into the ring, apparently angry that Miz suggested Lee is going to have sex on New Year’s Eve. Langston attacked Miz with his Sudden Impact to stop his attack on Ziggler.
(WK Reax: How is that funny or even insulting for Miz to say? Miz just came across as a jerk, especially when he called her “sweetheart.” It was one thing when Miz acted this way when he was a heel. You figured he was trying to be a douche. But now that he does the same act as a babyface, does it mean he thinks he’s actually witty and this is an appealing personality?)
-They went back to Mathews and JBL at ringside who announced that Ricardo now can’t compete because of the slap.
-Backstage Booker asked the doc if Ricardo is going to be okay. The doctor said he’ll be fine, but he can’t wrestle tonight. Brad Maddox walked up and asked for one more chance, then imitated Booker’s catch phrase. Alberto Del Rio ran up to Ricardo to check on him. He called Big Show a “big, fat monster.” He said he said he’s going to turn Show into a giant piñata and he’ll open him up. Booker offered to give him the World Title shot against Show. Del Rio accepted and told Ricardo “this is for you.” [c]
-Maddox walked out and said, intentionally obnoxiously, that his New Year’s Resolution was to become a WWE Superstar. He told people to always remember the name Brad Maddox.
(WK Reax: I swear they’ve got to be setting up a feud between Maddox and Goldust, who always said, “Remember the name ‘Goldust.'”)
(5) Sheamus pinned Brad Maddox in 4:00. JBL, a heel commentator, was quite pleased that Booker picked Sheamus to beat up Maddox. JBL said Maddox’s chance to win is the same as Mathews’s chance of becoming a good play-by-play announcer. JBL called Booker T the greatest G.M. ever. Maddox got in a little offense, but Sheamus easily made a comeback and gave him a Brogue Kick for the win. JBL said Maddox could come back on the ring crew. [c]
-A music video recap aired of Santa on Raw with cheerful music at the beginning, followed by Santa being hit by a car. They showed concerned and shaken up kids in the crowd looking on as the music turned gloomy. They replayed Booker saying “Santa is down, and it don’t look good right now.” Then Santa later limped his way back to the ring to beat up Ricardo and put the Mandible Claw on Del Rio.
(WK Reax: It’s just insane that Del Rio and Ricardo were the heel foils for Cena and Santa earlier in the week, and this week Ricardo is the sympathetic figure who got slapped by Big Show, and Del Rio is cast as the hero avenging his buddy getting slapped.)
(6) The Usos beat The Prime Time Players (Derrick Young & Titus O’Neil) in 2:00. This ended when the Usos switched placed as the ref’s back was turned, then the fresh Uso small packaged Young for the win. [c]
-Mathews and JBL threw to a video package on The Shield. They vowed that 2013 will be the year they cleanse WWE of injustice. They said they have no friends and no allies and answer to no one. They ended by saying “Believe in the Shield!”
-Backstage Matt Striker meekly asked Big Show if they could get comments from him about facing Del Rio. Show said it’s ridiculous that after two of his opponents went down, he still had to wrestle against a third opponent. He said he stands by his comments that everyone in the back is a loser and a reject, including Del Rio. He said he’s going for the trifecta. [c]
(7) The Big Show wrestled Alberto Del Rio to a no decision in 5:00. Del Rio got cheered during formal ring intros by Lilian Garcia, likely a mix of live crowd reaction and post-production. Show dominated and overpowered Del Rio at the start. At 3:00 Del Rio made a comeback. He went for the Cross Armbreaker, but Show powered out of it and shoved Del Rio to the floor. Show decided to try to bail out and get counted out, but Kane, Miz, Cesaro, the Usos, Ziggler, William Regal, Clay, and others from the locker room beat Show all the way back into the ring. Del Rio hit his running enzuigiri into the corner. Sheamus then pounded his chest and delivered the Brogue kick. Show went down and the Smackdown roster laughed, united over Show’s comments earlier that they were all losers.