SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
The following report originally published 20 years ago this week here at PWTorch.com…
WWE SMACKDOWN
SEPTEMBER 30, 2005
TAPED TUESDAY IN LAREDO, TEXAS
BY WADE KELLER, PWTORCH EDITOR
-The show was introduced with scenes of Laredo, Tex. with Michael Cole noting that 90 percent of the population is Hispanic. He said over 12 million people legally enter the U.S. from Mexico every year. It was a nice intro to the town they’re in, but it wasn’t just to be a good tour guide as JBL then walked out with a mule, an inner tube, and a sombrero. Cole said, “I’m not sure what JBL’s up to, but I’m sure it’s not in the best interest of Smackdown.”
JBL said most of the fans probably don’t understand English, then took digs at immigrants. He threatened to call INS. He said he has been unfairly characterized as not liking foreigners and despising illegal immigrants, but he came to Laredo and discovered they have fast food outlets “just like we do in America.”
He said he came there to visit some of Rey Mysterio’s family to show how much he cares. He then took some shots at his parents. He introduced Kennedy as his tag partner. Kennedy came out and referred to the mule by the ring announcer’s name, Tony Chimmel. He said he still sucks, then introduced himself. Kennedy then introduced himself from the drop-down mic.
Ring intros then took place for Rey and Hardcore Holly.
[Commercial Break]
1 — JBL & KENNEDY vs. REY MYSTERIO & HARDCORE HOLLY
Kennedy and JBL isolated Rey in the opening minute. Rey tagged in Holly, who chopped JBL’s chest. Rey tagged back in. JBL took over. The heels isolated Rey for a few minutes. Cole plugged that a Batista match would be featured on Raw on Monday. Rey and Kennedy both made hot tags to their partners at 6:00. Hardcore cleaned house on both heels. Holly signalled for the Alabama Jam. Kennedy blocked the move. Rey gave him the 619. Holly kicked JBL in the gut. Kennedy grabbed Holly from ringside. Rey then charged at Kennedy, who gave him a big boot. JBL then surprised JBL with a Clothesline from Hell.
WINNERS: Kennedy & JBL at 7:46.
STAR RATING: *1/4 — Okay opening tag.
-Cole and Tazz plugged the scheduled matches on the show including Batista & Eddie Guerrero facing LOD for the WWE Tag Team Titles. They went to a video package recapping the Guerrero/Batista storyline from last week’s Smackdown with Guerrero’s claim of having had food poisoning and then getting invaded by a lisping doctor from behind.
[Commercial Break]
-They showed footage of traffic in Laredo and talked about travel over the border.
-They went backstage to Guerrero apologizing to Batista and promising that by the end of the night they’d become tag team champions. Batista asked if Eddie should be eating Mexican food before their match after what happened last week. Batista took it and ate it instead.
-Melina was talking on her cell phone in the parking lot of the arena earlier in the day. Christy Hemme drove up on a motorcycle and interrupted her car. Melina accused her of almost running her down. Melina accidentally broke her nail while poking Christy in the chest, then blamed Christy. Melina threw a fit. It was billed as a “WWE.com exclusive” which seems strange for something airing on UPN. Apparently it’s an exclusive if it airs first on the website. Cole said that incident led to a match-up between the women on the show.
-Melina’s ring entrance took place.
[Commercial Break]
2 — MELINA (w/Mercury, Nitro) vs. CHRISTY HEMME
Melina controlled offense for several minutes including a dropkick and then a long armbar. The women sold like the moves and holds actually hurt, which isn’t always the case with the men. Christy came back with a nice split-legged sunset flip. At 4:30 Mercury distracted the ref and Nitro tripped Christy leading to Melina scoring the pin. Christy attacked Melina with a forearm to the face afterward. Mercury and Nitro held Christy as Melina trash-talked her. Then they set up the Snapshot, but LOD made the save.
WINNER: Melina at 4:45.
STAR RATING: 3/4* — Good intensity and pacing.
-Highlights aired of Undertaker popping out of the casket last week and throwing Randy Orton into it. Cole plugged the Taker vs. Bob Orton match up next.
-Based on the plug for upcoming dates, WWE doesn’t leave Texas until Oct. 16. It seems like the Smackdown crew has been in Texas for months.
[Commercial Break]
-Bob Orton stood center-ring, called Undertaker to the ring, and claimed he’d have “no mercy” for him tonight just as his son will have no mercy for him at No Mercy a week from Sunday on pay-per-view. Bob said his son, Randy, would not interfere in the match.
ARTICLE CONTINUED BELOW…
Check out the latest episode of “PWTorch ’90s Pastcast” with Patrick Moynahan and Alex McDonald, part of the PWTorch Dailycast line-up: CLICK HERE to stream (or search “wade keller” on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or any other iOS or Android app to subscribe free)
3 — UNDERTAKER vs. “COWBOY” BOB ORTON
Bob stalled, bailed out to ringside, and tried to call for a timeout. When the ref went down, Bob gave Taker a low-blow early. Then Randy ran out to the and helped his father double-team Taker. They rammed his head into the announcers’ table. Bob came off the top rope with a forearm onto Taker as Randy held him in the air. When the ref returned to the ring, Bob had Taker covered. Cole said the Ortons were going to steal one, but of course Taker kicked out. Randy was shocked at ringside, then he saved his father. Randy set up an RKO, but Taker blocked it and knocked him out of the ring. Then he gave Bob a Tombstone. Taker picked up the ref by the belt and dragged him over to make the count on Bob.
WINNER: Undertaker at 5:06.
STAR RATING: n/a
[Commercial Break]
-Tazz and Cole plugged the line-up for No Mercy: LOD & Christy vs. MNM (Mercury & Nitro & Melina), Randy & Bob Orton vs. Undertaker in a casket match, JBL vs. Rey Mysterio, and Batista vs. Eddie Guerrero for the World Hvt. Title.
4 — BOBBY LASHLEY vs. RUSSELL SIMPSON
The feeling among the apparent majority in OVW is that Lashley could have used more seasoning before being exposed to the national audience. So far he’s looked strong in very limited squash matches, but he’s very power-move oriented. He won with the same inverted powerslam finisher this week.
WINNER: Lashley at 2:20.
STAR RATING: 1/4*
-As Lashley celebrated, Simon Dean came out and said he impressed him in his debut last week. Simon said last week he wasn’t expecting to have to wrestle someone of his background, but at No Mercy he’d be prepared. He offered him some Simon System so he’d have no excuses when Lashley lost to him at the PPV.
-Cole plugged that a special Peep Show with Christian was up next.
[Commercial Break]
-Christian complained that he wasn’t listed on the No Mercy line-up yet. He said two weeks ago he pinned Chris Benoit 1-2-3. “I’m so damn good, I’ve kicked more ass by accident than you have on purpose,” said Christian. I hope that was supposed to be an obliviously lame one-liner, not actual wit. Booker T and Sharmell then interrupted Christian’s complaining and walked out to their full ring intro. Sharmell said she couldn’t believe that Christian thinks he deserves a U.S. Title shot ahead of her man. Orlando Jordan then interrupted and said he’s tired of being made fun of. He said Benoit last week couldn’t beat him in 30 seconds. The crowd chanted “You tapped out.” Booker said it took him longer to say that than it took Benoit to make him tapout. Sharmell laughed uproariously. Jordan said he could beat Christian and Booker. Teddy Long strutted out onto the stage. Long said he was going to let Benoit pick his challenger for No Mercy, but first in fairness he should get one last chance to watch them, so he booked them in a three-way.
[Commercial Break]
ARTICLE CONTINUED BELOW…
QUICK NOTE: Did you know you can read an ad-free, silky-smooth-loading version of this website with a PWTorch VIP Membership? Also, unlock 35+ years of archives including nearly 2,000 PWTorch Weekly Newsletters dating back to the late 1980s, hundreds of retro radio shows from the 1990s, and two decades of podcasts including Post-PPV Roundtable Podcasts dating back to the mid-2000s. Plus, new VIP-exclusive articles and podcasts throughout the week, fully compatible with the native Apple Podcasts app.
CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS ON VIP MEMBERSHIP
5 — ORLANDO JORDAN vs. BOOKER T (w/Sharmell) vs. CHRISTIAN
What you’d expect from these three often ordinary workers in the opening minutes. Booker did his Spinaroonie late, then went for a scissors kick on Christian. Christian sidestepped it and set up an Unprettier. Booker escaped and went for a catapult. Jordan schoolboyed Booker, and in the process launched Christian out of the ring, and yanked on the tights to get a three count on Booker.
WINNER: Jordan at 4:30.
STAR RATING:
-Benoit walked out and mocking congratulated Jordan for actually winning a match. “I can’t believe my eyes! You won! You won! Orlando, you won!” He said he’d get the shot. Then he addressed Christian’s protest by saying it would be him. Then he addressed Sharmell’s protests by saying it’d be Booker. He then said it’d be all three of them. Tazz had predicted Benoit would choose Jordan because he’d be the easiest to beat. Instead, he offered to take on all three. Tazz said he was impressed.
-Cole plugged the main event.
-The last of the WWE Homecoming commercials aired.
[Commercial Break]
-Vince McMahon approached Teddy Long and Network Guy backstage. McMahon asked Long what he was going to offer on WWE Homecoming. Palmer Cannon introduced himself to Vince and kissed his butt. McMahon seemed nonplussed and asked Long again for his offering. He offered JBL, Guerrero, Mysterio, Benoit, Christian, and Batista. McMahon seemed the least impressed when Christian’s name was mentioned, not unlike his reaction when Christian actually gets a big crowd pop and McMahon doesn’t understand why. “That’s the Smackdown Teddy Long I know!” said McMahon. Cannon said, “We’re working hard to be sure it’s a great homecoming.” Vince asked him if he knows about the show “Everybody Hates Chris.” Cannon said, “Yes, it’s doing great for us.” McMahon said, “Just so you know, everybody loves network executives.” Vince had to get a dig in on Spike TV execs this week, didn’t he?
-Ring intros took place for the main event. Cole said this would be the toughest test yet for the LOD.
[Commercial Break]
6 — ANIMAL & HEIDENREICH vs. BATISTA & EDDIE GUERRERO — WWE Tag Team Title match
At 4:00 Heidenreich set up the Doomsday Device, but Guerrero huracanrana’d out of it. Animal bumped into the top rope, knocking Heidenreich off balance. Batista hot-tagged in and took Animal and Heidenreich down. He spinebustered Heidenreich and then speared Animal in a mid-ring collision. He shook the ropes and then gave Heidenreich the BatistaBomb. Animal broke up the pin. MNM then attacked Animal, Batista, and Heidenreich with chairs. Guerrero made the save, but “mistakenly” hit Batista with a chair. Guerrero tossed the chair into Mercury’s hands, then laid on the mat and pretended to be knocked out. Batista gave Mercury a spinebuster. Batista helped Guerrero to his feet and hugged him. I sure hope by next week Batista has had a chance to watch the broadcast or hear from someone else what really happened. Babyfaces playing dumb on that stuff even though they interact with fans throughout the week in many venues just doesn’t ring true and makes them look ridiculously out of touch.
WINNERS: No contest at 5:15.
STAR RATING: * — Short, but passable given the limitations of LOD.
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.