McMahon’s Impact Wrestling Report
Aired March 16, 2017
Taped at Universal Studios
Announcers: Josh Mathews, Jeremy Borash & “The Pope”
POST-IMPACT LIVECAST — Following tonight’s Impact Wrestling, tune in to PWTorch.com’s Mike McMahon and Andrew Soucek on the PWTorch Livecast. Mike and Andrew will breakdown tonight’s episode and take YOUR calls!
— Impact opened with a video recapping last week’s episode, including World Title match, where the debuting Alberto Del Patron appeared to beat Bobby Lashly for the Impact World Title.
— Mathews welcomed us to the show as El Patron made his ring entrance. Borash noted that El Patron relinquished the Impact World Title earlier this week. Mathews said that El Patron did the right thing. Mathews said that Impact officials told him to ask Lashley if he wanted another chance at the World Title.
El Patron said he loves this place, because he doesn’t have to pretend to be someone he’s not. El Patron said that this is his house.
El Patron addressed the live crowd and said that last week, he proved that he’s good enough to be their champion. El Patron said that pro wrestling politics and office people are the reason he wasn’t standing there as the Impact Wrestling World Hvt. Champion. El Patron said he’s not a talker, he’s a badass and he’s a fighter. From there, El Patron called out Lashley.
Instead of Lashley, Ethan Carter III entered. ECIII said that El Patron made a great impact on his very first day. ECIII said that it was noble of El Patron to relinquish the title. ECIII said that you don’t demand title shots, you earn them. ECIII said that if El Patron wanted to earn a title shot, tonight, El Patron should wrestle him. ECIII called it, ‘Si vs. 3.”
El Patron said that he was there to fight Bobby Lashley. El Patron said that he was promised a rematch against Bobby Lashley, and ECIII isn’t Bobby Lashley. El Patron said that ECIII doesn’t make the rules, the fans make the rules, and if he’s correct, they want to see Lashley vs. El Patron. El Patron said that he’s going to go find Bobby Lashley, and began to leave the ring. ECIII said he thought El Patron was a “bad hombre,” but he has no idea who he is messing with. ECIII called himself “loco” and said that El Patron has “no mas testicles.”
Patron addressed ECIII as “EC” and said that he was in Impact Wrestling to fight the big dog, not the “bitch.”
ECIII pie-faced El Patron and they began to brawl, with El Patron getting the better of ECIII in the corner at first. ECIII rolled out of the ring and was smiling on the ramp as El Patron was held back by security. El Patron then escaped security and rushed ECIII on the stage.
El Patron went back in the ring and said that ECIII had a fight, tonight. “Let’s dance!” he yelled as his music played.
(McMahon’s Analysis: Decent opening segment. It was a smart move to get El Patron out there early and also reference the angle they played on the website this week, where the World Title was vacated. That being said, you have a relinquished World Title and no clearer picture on what is happening there after this segment was over. They also only loosely explained what happened with the World Title. Given that Impact’s “office people,” as El Patron called them, said he needed to ask Lashley for another shot, I assume El Patron’s relinquished title goes back to Lashley, and the belt isn’t vacant. That being said, no one has officially explained that.)
— Back from the break, a video airs where Eddie Edwards explains what Impact means to him.
— Backstage: Dutch Mantel is leading a meeting on what to do about the Impact Tag Team Titles. He said that Decay has them, but he has no idea if they stole them or won them or what happened. Dutch said he wanted more investigation. Scott D’Amore said that they know what happened, Vanguard 1 was involved. Bruce Prichard said that he had an idea on how to handle this, and walked out of the office.
— Borash said that El Patron vs. ECIII will happen tonight. Mathews complained that no one told him that. Mathews then threw to an “amazing” video package from their “amazing” team on the history between Tyrus and Eli Drake.
(McMahon’s Analysis: The “history” that has been all of eight weeks! What a rich history! … Also, they’re still playing up the Mathews-Borash feud, with the bickering to go along with it. So far, the bickering volume has been turned down from an 11 to about a four, but the night is young!)
— Eli Drake made his ring entrance with Tyrus for a tag team match.
Laredo Kid and Garza Jr., making their Impact debut, are their opponents.
(1) ELI DRAKE & TYRUS vs. LAREDO KID & GARZA, Jr.
Laredo Kid wears a mask. Borash said that Garza Jr. is the nephew of Hector Garza. Laredo Kid was in first with Drake. Garza Jr. tagged in. After some offense on Drake, he ripped off his pants to reveal tights worn underneath. Laredo Kid hit a moonsault on Eli Drake, jumping off the top rope to the outside. Laredo Kid hit a standing moonsault for a two count. Tyrus tagged in and Laredo Kid tried to cut his legs down with kicks. Tyrus caught Laredo Kid off a dive and threw him to the ground.
Back from the break, Eli Drake was in control on Laredo Kid. Tyrus tagged in and hit Laredo Kid with a fallaway slam. Pope said that he was getting word that all of the wrestlers were gathered around the monitors in the back, keeping their eye on all the new wrestlers in Impact. Drake tagged back in and hit an elbow on Laredo Kid for a two count. Mathews plugged “ShowImpact.com” on the new website. Tyrus continued getting heat on Laredo Kid but he finally missed an elbow. Garza Jr. tagged in and began a comeback on Drake, hitting a superkick for a two count. Tyrus held Garza Jr. and Drake went for a punch but Garza Jr. ducked and Drake nailed Tyrus. Drake hit a clothesline on Garza Jr. and a Celtic Cross on Laredo Kid. Drake walked over to the apron and Garza Jr. rolled him up from behind, scoring the pinfall.
WINNERS: Laredo Kid & Garza Jr. in 10:00.
(McMahon’s Analysis: Laredo Kid and Garza Jr. have some real potential. They weren’t able to showcase all of what they could do here, with Tyrus and Drake getting a lot of heat in the middle of the match, but you definitely saw what they can do in spurts. The finish could have been better, though. Not a huge fan of the roll-up finish after all of the high-flying moves).
After the match, Laredo Kid and Garza Jr. celebrated on the ramp while Drake and Tyrus argued for a short period in the ring. Mathews called this win a fluke. Mathews said that Drake and Tyrus could figure this out.
— Borash plugged the relationship with NOAH in Japan, and highlights from last Saturday were shown. James Storm, Moose and Eddie Edwards were featured on the NOAH show. Moose, Storm and Edwards all gave short interviews on why they were excited to be on the show. The wrestlers all put over the relationship between the two promotions.
(2) KACYI QUINN vs. BRANDI RHODES
Before the match could begin, Cody ran down with the Nex-Gen Title from GFW. Cody said the match would not happen tonight. Cody said that Impact would no longer “pimp out the Rhodes name” on their terms, they would do it on his terms.
Cody asked the name of her opponent. Cody tried to give Quinn $45, “which is $20 more than they were going to pay you.” Brandi looks pissed. Cody said that excuses are the nails that build a house of failure, and Moose is all about excuses. Cody said that Moose claimed he was in Japan, but Cody “is Japan.” Cody then challenged Moose to a match for the Impact Grand Championship.
Cody then forced Brandi to leave and walk to the back. Brandi was looking into the ring and apologizing to Kacyi Quinn as Cody forced her to the back.
WINNER: The match never began …
(McMahon’s Analysis: They’re doing some interesting things with Cody, and this was a good way hype the Cody-Moose feud and also allow Brandi to get in front of the camera. We’ve seen her work in the ring, and she’s very raw. It could be problematic to throw her in a singles match right now, but this was a strategic way to get her onto the program while also getting more into Cody-Moose).
— Back from the break, Rosemary was in the middle of an attack on Kacyi Quinn. Mathews said that Rosemary ran out during the break and attacked Quinn. Rosemary threw Quinn into the barricade. Quinn tried to fight back. Mathews pointed out that this is not a match because there is no referee. Rosemary hit a Red Wedding on Quinn and her music played.
(McMahon’s Analysis: It’s about consistency! Earlier tonight, El Patron and ECIII were brawling in the ring and a dozen security people ran out to break up the fight. Now, 48 minutes later, poor Kacyi Quinn is getting pummeled for several minutes and no one ran down to stop it?)
— Borash said law and order was coming soon.
— A video aired with ECIII where he talked about how he was, and will continue to make Impact great.
(2) ETHAN CARTER III vs. ALBERTO EL PATRON
The bell rang and El Patron and ECIII immediately began to brawl inside the ring and around ringside. ECIII threw El Patron into the ring post. On the other side, El Patron threw ECIII into the ring post.
Back from the break, ECIII caught El Patron off the top with a right hand and then started throwing multiple right hands. ECIII put the boots to El Patron in the corner. ECIII hit a snap suplex for a two count. El Patron threw ECIII’s shoulder into the ring post. El Patron rolled ECIII into the ring and looked to be trying for an arm triangle. ECIII fought back and had El Patron on the turnbuckle. El Patron snatched ECIII’s arm and locked on an armbar in the ropes, breaking before the five count. ECIII hit a clothesline but he favored his shoulder. ECIII splashed El Patron in the corner and then connected with a flapjack. ECIII flipped El Patron over the top and to the outside. The referee began counting as the announcers pointed out that this was a good chance for ECIII to recover. ECIII rolled out and threw El Patron into the announce table and then began smashing his head onto the table over and over. ECIII rolled El Patron into the ring and then climbed onto the apron, where El Patron greeted him with a swift kick to the head. That knocked ECIII to the outside again.
Back from the break, ECIII and El Patron were trading punches in the middle of the ring. Mathews plugged “Schitt’s Creek.” ECIII was dropped by a pair of clotheslines from El Patron and then a back stabber. El Patron was going up top again but ECIII caught him. ECIII sold his shoulder and arm, shaking his hand as if it were numb. ECIII tossed El Patron off the top rope. ECIII then dropped El Patron with a TK3. Instead of going for a cover, ECIII rolled to the corner and began to taunt El Patron. ECIII hit a second TK3. Instead of going for a cover, ECIII rolled to the outside and grabbed a steel chair. Borash and Pope questioned what ECIII was doing because ECIII has El Patron ready for a pin. ECIII teased a chair shot but then threw the chair to the outside. ECIII went to pickup El Patron and he attacked with a superkick and then locked ECIII in the cross-armbreaker. ECIII tried to reach the bottom rope but he couldn’t, tapping out.
WINNER: Alberto El Patron in 22:00.
After the match, Borash said that it was the first time ECIII has tapped out in Impact Wrestling. ECIII leaned into the ropes and clutched his shoulder. El Patron applauded ECIII in the corner and called him back into the ring. El Patron grabbed a microphone and told ECIII that he can’t leave until he paid him respect. El Patron got down one knee and applauded ECIII. El Patron said that he has faced the most dangerous opponents all over the world, and ECIII gave him one of the best matches of his career. El Patron extended his hand and ECIII had some words before shaking it. El Patron raised ECIII’s hand and applauded as ECIII walked up the ramp.
(McMahon’s Analysis: Terrific storytelling and it was really refreshing to see Impact give two guys plenty of time to tell that story, with the match going more than 20 minutes and then the post-match interaction after as well. This was great use of El Patron, playing off his experience and putting over ECIII as one of his best opponents ever, despite him taking this loss. This didn’t hurt ECIII’s stock at all. If anything, it raised his stock going toe-to-toe with El Patron and then having El Patron put him over with the promo the way he did after the match. This match and post-match angle was a home run.
This did feel like it could be the beginnings of an ECIII heel turn. He teased using the chair and then the tantrum backstage after the match. That’s not a terrible idea either, as Impact is lacking a lot of star power on the heel side of the roster.)
— McKenzie Mitchell was backstage and interviewed Reno Scum. Reno Scum gave a very Road Warrior promo, where they yelled their promo. Reno Scum said that they were in Impact to be World Tag Team Champions.
— Backstage, ECIII kicked a trashcan. Bruce Prichard tried to calm him down but ECIII was screaming at Bruce. Prichard said he needed to talk to him and they went down the hall. Prichard was very animated in his conversation with ECIII.
— Back from the break, a video of Madison Rayne talking about making Impact great aired.
— Mathews said that he has a big scoop and an X Division Title match would be up next. Jeremy Borash said that “she” will be here next week, and this place might never be the same. Pope and Mathews wondered who “she” was.
— Suicide made his return to Impact after a very Batman-like promo video.
(3) ANDREW EVERETT vs. SUICIDE vs. BRAXTON SUTTER (w/Allie) vs. TREVOR LEE — Four Way Match for the X Division Title
At the bell, Andrew Everett went after Trevor Lee, but Lee rolled to the outside. Everett dove on Lee on the outside. Everett rolled up Suicide for a one count. Suicide rolled up Sutter for a two count and then a standoff between those three while Lee was on the outside. Suicide almost single-handily took control of the match, taking out Lee and Everett. Pope talked about his feud with Suicide. Suicide hit a suicide dive on Sutter and Lee. Everett hit an incredible springboard shooting star press to the outside on all three opponents.
Back from the break, Everett threw Lee into the turnbuckle. Lee hit a knockout punch on Everett after Helms distracted Everett. Lee connected with a double stomp on Suicide for a two count. Lee and Everett brawled in the ring before the official broke it up, warning on closed punches. Lee chopped Everett. Pope commended Borash and Mathews for “wearing their professional hats today.” Lee choked Suicide in the corner. Sutter hits Lee with a powerslam and then hits a spinebuster on Everett. Suicide took out Sutter with a missile dropkick. Suicide catches Everett on top. Sutter joined Suicide trying to superplex Everett. They hit a combination move where Sutter powerbombs Lee, as there was a superplex in there as well. You need to see that. Laurel Van Ness walked out from backstage eating wedding cake and still wearing her dress. Laurel grabbed Allie at ringside and Sutter broke that up. Laurel looked … uh … impaired? As Sutter climbed back in the ring, Lee hit Sutter with a knee to the face and pinned him for the three count.
WINNER: Trevor Lee retains.
After the match, Laurel gawked at Sutter in the ring. Allie looked angry at ringside. Sienna came out and said she hoped Allie and Sutter were enjoying their quality time together. Sienna said she thought it was sweet that the first time they would sleep together, it would be in the hospital. Sienna said that Romeo and Juliet always come to their tragic demise. Sienna then dropped the mic and walked backstage.
(McMahon’s Analysis: Another match that had a lot of time. Whoever was portraying Suicide looked great. Everett’s springboard shooting star press to the outside of the ring was insanely impressive.)
— A video with Moose talking about how he’ll make Impact great aired.
— Bruce Prichard entered the ring to discuss the TNA Tag Team Title situation. Prichard said that he knows championships are won and lost in the ring. Prichard said that they don’t change hands in outer space or on the internet. They are won or lost in the ring, and right now, now one has any idea who the Impact Tag Team Champions are. Prichard said that Impact would take the top-four teams in Impact, and in two weeks, those teams would all fight to crown the new champions.
Prichard looked like he was going to leave at that point, but Decay entered. Abyss introduced Decay to Prichard. Crazzy Steve said that they are the never-ending nightmare of Impact, and they are the death dealers. Rosemary said that they rescued the titles of space and time, so Prichard should give them what they deserve, or else they’ll just take them.
Reno Scum entered and Prichard gave them the mic. Reno Scum said that they deserved to be tag team champions. Then, Garza Jr. and Laredo Kid entered. Prichard gave Laredo Kid the microphone. He said something in Spanish, and Decay looked confused. Garza Jr. said that he would translate, and they are there for the tag team titles. A three-way brawl then began. Decay stood tall and cleared the ring, but LAX then returned. Homicide and Konnan hit the ring first and then three more members ran in from the crowd. LAX — Homicide and Konnan and their new members — are took out Decay.
Konnan said that LAX is back. Konnan said they were “serious, like a late period.”
LAX posed on the stage as the show went off the air.