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MCMAHON’S IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT
NOVEMBER 10, 2016
ORLANDO, Fla. — UNIVERSAL STUDIOS
AIRED ON POPTV
ANNOUNCERS: Josh Mathews, “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero.
– Impact opened with a highlight video from last week’s episode, including the DCC beating Eddie Edwards and Jeff Hardy.
– In the arena, Jeff Hardy heads to the ring as Josh Mathews and Pope welcome us to the show and wish us a Happy Thanksgiving. Hardy is carrying both TNA Tag Team Titles, with Matt Hardy still suffering from amnesia back in North Carolina.
Hardy said that tonight is about gathering and sharing what you’re thankful for. He said he’s thankful for his family, but he’s here alone tonight. Hardy said it was still kind of like Thanksgiving because the creatures are his family.
Hardy takes off the tag titles and said that he’s not thankful for the “three goofballs” who took his brother out. Hardy said that he had a vision that he needed to come out here alone tonight and fight whoever he needs to fight. Hardy said that Matt was the architect of some of the best ladder matches of all time. Hardy said God told him to look at Matt, who he knows is watching at home. Hardy said he wanted to invade Matt’s memory to take him out of whatever is inside of him right now. Hardy then called out one of the DCC members for a fight.
The DCC appears on the screen and they said that Thanksgiving was a special night for family. The scrambled DCC voice said no one is by Hardy’s side tonight, and Matt isn’t here to help him. The DCC voice said the fight for Hardy’s survival begins now.
The DCC’s music plays and all three members walk to the ring in suits. Bram hits the ring first and Hardy hits a twist of fate. Kingston slides in next and he begins to double-team Hardy with Bram. Hardy hits a whisper in the wind to take out both and slides to the outside.
With all three DCC members in the ring, Hardy grabs a mic on the outside and walks back up the ramp chanting, “Obsolete! Obsolete! Obsolete!” His music plays as the DCC looks on and Mathews wonders who Hardy will be competing against later tonight.
– At the Hardy compound, Matt is walking around his property with a pot when he finds Senor Benjamin. Matt said that Benjamin has already dipped into his peppermint bon bon ice cream. Matt sees Vanguard 1 and calls him a “gizmo.” Matt said he will be making tangerine custard. Matt then thanks “Mr. Benjamin” for supervising the setup of the first annual Matt Hardy Ice Cream Social. Matt said we should not kill turkeys, because that is violent, but they should instead live off the earth.
Vanguard 1 looks at Senor Benjamin and says, “you’re in big trouble when he remembers … if he remembers.”
– Andrew Everett, Trevor Lee and Marshe Rockett make their ring entrance for a Team X Gold match. The next team introduced is Rockstar Spud with Decay.
– After a break, Mandrews, Braxton Sutter and D.J. Z are making their ring entrances.
(1) MANDREWS, D.J. Z & BRAXTON SUTTER vs. ROCKSTAR SPUD, ABYSS & CRAZZY STEVE vs. TREVOR LEE, ANDREW EVERETT & MARSHE ROCKETT — elimination match
There will be three men legal at any given time in the match (one from each team). The action is fast-paced and with so many bodies, somewhat hard to follow with a lot of quick tags. D.J. Z’s team and Trevor Lee’s team takes turns beating up Rockstar Spud, with six scoop slams. Spud then gets angry and shoves Abyss after a tag and Abyss slams Spud as well.
Mandrews his a missile dropkick of the top and then tries for a slide to the outside but Abyss catches him and throws him to the floor. Abyss grabs a chair and smashes it on Mandrews, getting eliminated via disqualification at the three-minute mark.
So Spud’s team is still in the match, but Abyss is eliminated.Mandrews is then eliminated. Crazzy Steve fakes teaming with Sutter and then bites him before they begin trading punches. Steve locks a rear-naked choke on Sutter and Everett hits a moonsault off the top on both of them. Everett pins Crazzy Steve for an elimination, leaving Spud alone.
D.J. Z hits a ZZT on Everett for an elimination. Sutter kicks Lee after a tag and Sutter then hits a flatliner for the elimination.
Rockett, Spud and Sutter are the legal men, with Spud and Rockett teaming up to double-team Sutter. Spud and Sutter trade slaps before Rockett kicks Sutter in the gut to remain in control. D.J. Z, Sutter’s partner, is the only person left eligible for a tag.
Rockett and Spud begin to argue. Rockett takes Spud’s head off with a kick and then hits a slam for the elimination. Sutter then hits a Flatliner on Rockett for the win.
WINNERS: D.J. Z & Braxton Sutter at 8:00.
After the match, Sutter and D.J. Z celebrate. Mandrews returns to celebrate with his team as well as Mathews shows replays.
– Backstage, Allie said we are invited to the greatest celebration of all time as she plays with some figures on a table. Maria walks in and says she’s stupid. Allie said she doesn’t come from a big family so this is how she celebrated Thanksgiving. Laurel Van Ness said that Braxton wouldn’t want Allie, he would want a woman like her. Maria said that Allie would help her and Laurel on their double date tonight.
– Back at the Hardy compound, Matt is making custard. Senor Benjamin tells him to stop because he needs more eggs. Matt said his cooking will make Robert Irvine’s seem obsolete. Matt then makes a strange face, as if he is remembering something.
A referee, the same referee from the Final Deletion, pulls up to the compound in his car. Matt welcomes him and said he recognizes him from the Final Deletion, which he said he watched last week. The official said Reby sent him and he had something he wanted to show him. Matt agreed to watch what he had as Senor Benjamin told Vanguard 1 he drinks too much.
– Maria is in the ring for a Thanksgiving dinner with Mike Bennett and Laurel Van Ness. She brings out Allie, who is dressed like a pilgrim. Laurel said she wishes Braxton was here to see this .. actually, she invited him. Braxton Sutter then makes his way to the ring.
Maria told Allie not to look at Braxton. Maria asked everyone to tell her what she was thankful for. Maria said she was thankful for Bennett and she was thankful for Laurel. Bennett said he was thankful for food, the great Tom Brady, and he was thankful for Maria. Laurel said she was thankful for Maria, her date, Braxton, and her dad’s black AMEX. Allie took the mic and said she was thankful for the fans, but Maria said no one cares what she is thankful for. Maria then demanded that Allie serve their meal. Laurel told Braxton she was named, “Laurel Van Yes” in college.
Allie then blew a gasket and screamed at Laurel that she was sick of this. Maria and Laurel are talking as Allie grabs a pie. She tries to hit Laurel, but Laurel ducks and Allie slams the pie in Maria’s face. Bennett picks some frosting off of her face and eats it as Sutter and Van Ness look surprised. Meanwhile, Allie is back at the table laughing.
(McMahon’s Analysis: Fun holiday segment. It was good to see Allie finally get something on Maria, who has been abusing her for months. Building the sympathy on Allie has worked, as the live crowd was really into her, but at some point she needs to get some payback and there was a little of this tonight.
– Back at the Hardy compound, the referee is showing Hardy a video. The official is showing Hardy when he won the TNA World Title at Bound For Glory in 2015. Matt said he had no knowledge of any of this happening. Matt then sees video of him winning the World Title a second time. Matt said he watches Impact Wrestling and ECIII is very good, and he apparently as treated ECIII as “his bitch.”
Matt sees himself using a ladder and claims he is afraid of heights. He doesn’t know who Tyrus or Spud are. Matt said he found all of this to be repulsive. Reby opens the door and sees that it’s not going well before heading back inside.
(2) ELI DRAKE vs. ECIII – if Eli Drake wins, he wins ECIII’s TNA World Title match but if ECIII wins, Drake can’t talk for the rest of the year
The match begins with punches being traded. After some back and forth, the show goes to a break with Drake on the outside.
Back from the break, the match is on the outside. Drake connects with a knee as ECIII gets himself back into the match.
After the break, the match is in the middle of the ring. Drake tries for a torture rack into a neckbreaker for a two count.
ECIII goes for the top. Drake tries to catch him but ECIII throws him off the top and hits a frog splash for a two count.
Drake hits a neckbreaker and a flapjack for a two count. ECIII tries to recover in the corner. Both men stand up and trade punches in the middle of the ring. Drake hits Blunt For Trauma for a lound two count.
Drake and ECIII trade One Percenter attempts before ECIII finally connects on the second try. Drake kicks out a two, however.
After ducking a Blunt For Trauma, ECIII locks on a rear-naked choke for the win.
WINNER: ECIII in about 15:00.
ECIII walks to the back immediately after the match as Mathews said he’s all business. Mathews reminds us that Drake now much not talk for the rest of the year.
– Reby asks Matt to come into the room. Reby has a doctor, a hypnotist, to meet with Matt. Matt agrees to sit down for a minute as the hypnotist tries to hypnotize Matt in order to break him out of his amnesia. It seems to work, as Matt said his broken brilliance has been around for more than 2,000 years. Matt said his broken brilliance has manifested and it has changed pro wrestling. Matt said now, he will save the world.
The hypnotist snapped his fingers and said when he does, Matt will become his one true self. The fingers snap and Matt runs off to check on his gelato, completely unaware of what he just said.
(3) MAHABALI SHERA & AL SNOW vs. THE TRIBUNAL (Baron Dax & Basile Baraka)
Snow and Baraka start off the match. Snow has control of the match early as Mathews plus the Al Snow Wrestling Academy.
Dax tags in as Snow scoops him up for a slam and tags in Shera. Snow and Shera hit double elbows. Shera has control of Dax’s arm. Shera hits a series of slams on both members of The Tribunal and tags Snow back into the ring.
The Tribunal takes control again after Dax hits a knee on a running Snow. Shera tags in and hits a series of clothesline as a Sky High on Dax for a two count.
Baraka pulls Snow off the apron, meaning Shera can’t make a tag. In the ring, Dax beats up Shera in the corner. Snow tags in and hits a Snow Plow on Baraka for a two count that Dax breaks up. Now all four men are brawling with the referee pulling Shera off. With the officials back turned, Baraka hits a low blow on snow. The referee is trying to stop Shera from choking out Dax as Baraka takes off his belt and uses it as a weapon, forcing the DQ.
WINNERS: Mahabali Shera & Al Snow in 7:00.
After the match, Dax and Baraka take off their belts and begin to whip Shera and Snow.
– Backstage, Grado and Robbie E ask for a match and want to see Billy Corgan. Aiden O’Shea said no one needs to see Corgan. O’Shea pulls out the infamous TNA turkey suit, and said they’re bringing back a tradition. Robbie E freaks out and said he hates the suit and Grado needed to be wearing it as the show goes to a break.
(4) GRADO vs. ROBBIE E – turkey suit match
Mathews runs down the list of people who have won turkey suit matches. After a lockup, Robbie E misses wildly in the corner. Robbie and Grado fake handshakes a few times. Grado shoves Robbie, who fires back with a chop. Still hits a chop for himself before firing jabs at Grado.
A double clothesline knocks down both men. Now back up, Robbie misses a dive in the corner. O’Shea is shown at ringside, showing how O’Shea has interfered once on each opponent. Grado tries to roll over Robbie but Robbie drops and hooks one of Grado’s leg for the win.
WINNER: Robbie E.
After the match, Robbie is celebrating like crazy as Grado now needs to put on the suit. Grado refused at first before he finally agreed. After a few seconds, Grado accepts the suit and starts to celebrate with Robbie E and O’Shea.
– Mathews said that next week, Jade vs. Rosemary will happen inside six sides of steel to determine the new Knockouts champion.
– The DCC and Hardy make ring entrances for their main event before the show cuts to a break
(5) BRAM vs. JEFF HARDY – no disqualification match
Back from the break, the DCC and Hardy are brawling 3-on-1. Storm hits Hardy with a chair.
Mathews wondered what Matt was thinking, and if he was watching the match. The match is officially Bram vs. Hardy, and they settle down with those two in the ring, leaving the others on the outside.
Bram throws Hardy into the steps on the outside as Kingston watches. Bram rolls Hardy back into the rig.
Bram rubs his forearm across Hardy’s face in the corner and Bram answers with a back elbow. Bram sets up Hardy on the top rope and Storm shoves him off to the mat. Pope reminds us that the official can do nothing to stop this.
Hardy whips Bram to the rope and hits a dropkick. Hardy knocks Kingston off the apron but Storm hits the ring and attacks Hardy from behind. Hardy hits a Whisper in the Wind on Hardy. Bram throws a chair at Hardy, who catches it and throws it at Bram, twice. Hardy sets up the chair and uses it to launch himself into Bram in the corner. Hardy hits a Twist of Fate for a two count.
Bram frees himself from a Twist of Fate but Hardy quickly recovers to hit the move for a second time. Hardy sets up for a swanton, but Storm attacks Hardy on the ropes. Last Call by Storm on Hardy as Bram hits Brighter Side of Suffering for the win.
After the match, the DCC grabs the Tag Team Titles and celebrate with the belts over a fallen Hardy.
– At the Hardy compound, Matt is playing with a clock when Reby walks in and said she has tried everything. Matt said Reby doesn’t know what it’s like to be him. Matt said his passion was to be a cook and he has no idea who or what he is. Reby said that Matt deletes people. Matt storms out of his house and said he can’t take it anymore. Matt said deleting people is gross. Matt screamed for the seven deities to send him a sign if he’s broken, and Matt is struck by lightning. Reby runs out and asks if he’s OK? Matt wakes up and says he is broken, flashing a crazy smile as Reby looks on.