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MCMAHON’S IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT
June 1, 2017
From Orlando, Fla. (Universal Studios)
Aired on Pop TV
Announcers: Jeremy Borash, Josh Mathews & The Pope
Immediately following tonight’s Impact Wrestling, tune in to the PWTorch Livecast. Mike McMahon and Andrew Soucek will discuss tonight’s show with callers. Listen at www.pwtorchlivecast.com and call the show at 515-605-9345
– Impact opened with a highlight video of last week’s show.
– After the intro video, overhead shots from inside the Impact Zone aired. Josh Mathews welcomed us to the show. There’s a band in the ring but the lights went out and ECIII’s music played. He walked to the ring as Mathews recapped his win last week to become No. 1 contender to the Impact World Title.
ECIII said that tonight is a night for celebration. The band behind him, which consisted of some a capella singers, a cello and a violin began to sing his entrance song. ECIII cut them off after a few seconds. He introduced the band as “his family,” and said he was on the verge of reclaiming the World Title.
ECIII said that he destroyed James Storm’s career, and he has something special for Lashley at Slammiversary. He told the band to play “ECIII’s fight music,” and they sang song. Alberto El Patron came out to music after the song finished. Mathews said they predicted this would blow up.
Then, before he could say anything, Karen Jarrett, Tyrus, Bruce Prichard and Dutch Mantel came on the stage. Prichard said the wrestlers aren’t running the asylum anymore. He told ECIII and El Patron to fight tonight, and Prichard told El Patron to put the GFW Title on the line. Prichard told ECIII there would be consequences to striking him two weeks ago, and in the match tonight, it will be the GFW Title vs. the No. 1 contender slot. The winner, Prichard said, would go to Slammiversary.
El Patron charged the ring but Prichard yelled at them to wait a minute. Prichard said he wanted the match to take place inside six sides of steel.
(McMahon’s Analysis: Infuriating booking. Just infuriating. Why did viewers invest in a No. 1 contender match last week, only to have that completely disregarded … IN THE FIRST SEGMENT OF THE NEXT SHOW! Not only that, but according to this narrative, Impact officials went on the air without a main event, and just decided to book a steel cage match? C’mon. Impact has done such a good job recently starting the show hot with matches and also advertising main events ahead of time, usually a week in advance. This was poor storytelling at best, and mindless at worst. We’re supposed to believe that the crew of people in charge of Impact Wrestling knew about this ECIII situation for a week, and didn’t choose to address it until after the next show was on the air? You can go outside the wrestling rulebook here for a second. Announce the El Patron-ECIII match on the website Monday, and say “the board” came to the decision. Then open the show with the promo only it’s ECIII complaining about having to defend his No. 1 contender status. Instead it makes the management characters look like shoddy leaders, who are just flying by the seat of their pants.)
— Back from the break, Mathews and Pope plug the new main event for tonight. Mathews hyped that Impact will come from India next week.
(1) ELI DRAKE (w/Chris Adonis) vs. MOOSE (c) – Impact Grand Championship match
Bruce Prichard, Scott D’Amore and Bruce Prichard were the judges for the match. Mathews hyped LAX vs. VOW later tonight.
Round 1: Moose hit a pump kick to start the match. Drake took control about halfway through the round. Pope said Moose is running on emotion. Drake controlled Moose’s leg and kicked his hamstring. As time expired, Drake applied a Figure Four. Scores: Eli Drake, 30-27
Round 2: Drake charged at the bell for round 2 and dropkicked Moose’s leg. Mathews talked about his match with Borash at Slammiversary (y’know, while another match is going on). Drake rolled to the outside and wrapped Moose’s leg around the ring post twice. Mathews told everyone to go get his shirt online (y’know, while another match is going on). Moose pulled Drake back into the ring post. With one minute left in the round, Drake went to the second turnbuckle but Moose got away and landed a dropkick, knocking Drake off the turnbuckles. Moose hit a popup powerbomb and a senton, followed by a moonsault. Moose grabbed his knee instead of going for a pin and the round ended. [c]
After the break, the round 2 scores were revealed: Moose, 29-28
Round 3: Mathews complained about the judges. Adonis went to yell at them but Tyrus got in the way. Moose and Drake meet at the center of the ring and traded punches to start the round. Moose threw Drake into the corner but Drake came back with a boot to the face. Moose hit a Go to Hell for a two count. Mathews talked about how he was going to start a podcast and almost missed a pin, but Moose kicked out at two. Adonis grabbed Moose’s foot with 10 seconds left in the round. Drake went for a pin but it was too late, and the bell rang. Scores: Moose, 29-28
WINNER: Moose via decision to retain.
After the match, Mathews complained about the decision. Drake rolled out and yelled at the judges.
(McMahon’s Analysis: The commentary for this match was – surprise! – awful. This is the problem with having the announce team fill a storyline. Instead of putting over the guys in the ring, which is their job, Mathews spends the entire match playing the heel and putting himself and Scott Steiner over. It’s distracting, and not helping anyone on the roster other than Mathews. Aside from that, it’s really hard to invest in any title on Impact right now that isn’t the World Title, because with all of the GFW Titles on the show, there’s way too many belts and everything that’s a “secondary” title is watered down).
— Highlights of Rosemary saving Allie last week aired.
— Backstage: Allie said she doesn’t know why that demon person helped her. Allie said she has never spoken to Rosemary before. Rosemary popped up from behind Allie. She told Allie that she has a knack for getting herself into danger. Rosemary said she lost her family, but she still serves the hive. Rosemary said the hive told her that Allie needs protecting. Rosemary told Allie that she doesn’t have to fear, because “we” will protect her.
— Mathews plugged a live event on Staten Island on August 5 in a minor league ballpark. Advertised were El Patron, Lashley, ECIII and more [c].
— Back from a break, Amber Nova is headed to the ring. She was introduced as hailing “from the garage.”
(2) ALLIE (w/Braxton Sutter) vs. AMBER NOVA
Swoggle was shown at ringside. Allie and Nova locked up and Nova hit a knee in the corner. Mathews and Pope wondered why Swoggle was allowed back into the Impact Zone after beating up Rockstar Spud. Allie fired up. In the corner, she whipped Nova to the buckle Nova hit a boot. Allie scooped up Nova and hit a Death Valley Driver for the win.
WINNER: Allie in 3:00.
After the match, Allie and Sutter celebrated. Allie even hugged Nova.
(McMahon’s Analysis: I like Allie. I like the character and from what I can tell, I’d like the person. She seems like a genuinely nice person. But this character is starting to feel more and more like Eugene every week).
— Backstage: Joseph Park and Jeremy Borash arrive on a golf kart.
(3) LAX (w/Konnan, Homicide and Diamante) vs. V.O.W. – GFW Tag Team Title Tournament Finals No DQ match
As soon as the match started, Homicide ran in the ring and attacked VOW. Wilcox powered back with a double clothesline. After spearing Santana into the corner, Mayweather tagged in. With VOW distracted by LAX on the outside, Ortiz ran in and clipped Mayweather’s knee. On the outside, Santana and Homicide threw Wilcox into the steps. Ortiz tagged in. LAX continued with quick tags as they beat up Mayweather mostly in their corner. Mayweather flipped Ortiz with a back bodydrop but couldn’t get to the corner before Santana cut him off. Mathews again plugged the August 5 live event. Konnan punched Mayweather in the corner. Santana got caught and Mayweather hit a fallaway slam. Wilcox tagged in at the same time as Ortiz for LAX. Wilcox splashed Ortiz in the corner and then hit a clothesline. Wilcox hit a samoan drop and went for a pin but Diamante pulled the referee out of the ring. LAX hit their powerbomb finisher out of the corner for the win after Konnan hit Mayweather with a pipe on the outside.
WINNER: LAX wins the GFW Tag Team Titles in 7:00.
After the match, LAX celebrated.
(McMahon’s Analysis: Why was this a No DQ match? Was it ever explained? And why are the people in charge of Impact OK allowing one team to come to the ring for a No DQ match with three people in their corner? All these are logical questions, I think. Impact seems really intent on making the people in charge of their show tonight look like bumbling fools. The match itself was fine, but the booking on this show has been very odd and out of left field. Now, the good news is that I assume the tag titles are now unified, so that gets rid of some titles on the show).
— Jeremy Borash and Joseph Park are with McKenzie Mitchell, talking about Scott Steiner returning to be Jeremy Borash’s partner. Borash said he never wanted to be inside the ring. He wanted to be an announcer. Borash told Park it wasn’t happening, but Park said it was happening. Park said they were going to be ready, because they were going to train. Borash asked Park if he lost his damn mind?
— Sonjay Dutt came to ringside for color commentary on the X Division Title match.
(4) LOW KI vs. ANDREW EVERETT – X Division Title match
Dutt said that he doesn’t put anything last Low Ki, and he wondered if Low Ki injured his eye on purpose. They’re getting across that Dutt has never won the X Division Title. In the ring, Low Ki is punching Everett in the corner and then hit a headbutt. Low Ki hit a dropkick through the ropes. Low Ki came over to the announce table and told Dutt, “you never learn your lesson.” [c]
Back from the break, Low Ki has Everett in a chinlock. Dutt said he wasn’t going to back to his home country next week and not be able to compete. He said he would be ready to wrestle in India. Everett dropkicked Low Ki’s legs out from under him. Low Ki charged into an Everett boot. Everett went to the top but Low Ki pulled him off and covered him for a two count. Low Ki missed a dive in the corner. Everett hit a hurricanrana into the corner and then a standing shooting star press for a two count. Everett went for a shooting star off the top but Low Ki got his knees up. Low Ki then hit a charging double dropkick. Low Ki went to the top and hit the stomp for the win.
WINNER: Low Ki retains in 13:00.
After the match, Low Ki mugged for the camera and then had his hand raised. Low Ki walked over to Dutt at the announce table and they had some more words as Mathews reminded us that Low Ki injured Dutt’s eye.
(McMahon’s Analysis: Good match that shined a spotlight on both guys while building up the eventual Sonjay-Low Ki match. WWE is failing to build stars due to 50-50 booking, but this is a good example of how you can continue to put one guy — Low Ki — over, and still keep someone like Everett looking strong in the process).
— In just a matter of seconds, we’re back in the arena and the cage is assembled after a short “Make Impact Great” video aired.
— Swoggle is shown behind Mathews and Pope. All of a sudden Spud attacked him from behind. Spud dragged Swoggle to ringside and threw him into the announce table. Spud went under the ring and took out the hammer that Swoggle attacked him with. Spud started beating Swoggle’s legs with the hammer and then choked him with it. Pope said we can’t see it, but Swoggle is bleeding from his eye. Earl Hebner finally stepped in and took the hammer away. [c]
(5) ALBERTO EL PATRON vs. ETHAN CARTER III — Cage match for the GFW Title and the Impact Title No. 1 Contender status
Mathews said the match can end by cage escape or pinfall. El Patron forced ECIII’s face into the cage. Mathews said you cannot win by escaping through the camera holes. ECIII climbed the cage but El Patron pulled him down. ECIII choked El Patron on the side of the fence, which was cut out for a camera. El Patron hit a DDT out of the corner. El Patron climbed the cage but ECIII chased him and pulled him down after some punches to the lower back, dropping El Patron with a samoan drop off the side of the cage. [c]
Back from the break, ECIII suplexes El Patron. Pope said that ECIII has focused on El Patron’s back throughout the commercial. El Patron hits a kick for a two count. El Patron caught ECIII with a single arm DDT. El Patron was then able to lock on a cross armbreaker. ECIII hit a powerbomb for a two count. With El Patron down, ECIII tried to escape the cage in the corner. El Patron got up and ran to the cage, meeting him on the top rope. El Patron threw elbows and then got ahead of ECIII on top of the cage. El Patron kicked ECIII off the cage and he got tied up in the corner. El Patron jumped off the top of the cage, hitting ECIII with a double stomp. El Patron untangled ECIII and dragged him to the middle of the ring. El Patron went to the opposite turnbuckle and hit a frogsplash for the win.
WINNER: Alberto El Patron in 18:00.
After the match, both men were down in the middle of the ring. The referee helped El Patron to his feet and he began celebrating with the GFW Title.