MCMAHON’S IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT
May 17, 2018
Taped from Orlando, Fla. (Universal Studios)
Aired on Pop TV
Announcers: Josh Mathews
Immediately following tonight’s Impact Wrestling, tune in to the PWTorch Livecast. Mike McMahon and Andrew Soucek will discuss tonight’s show with callers. Listen at www.pwtorchlivecast.com and call the show at 515-605-9345 or email email@example.com
— The show opened with a recap of last week’s episode.
(1) ELI DRAKE & SCOTT STEINER [c] vs. DJ Z & ANDREW EVERETT — Impact Tag Team Title match
Mathews, again announcing solo, talked up how good Z & E looked and wondered if they would pull the upset tonight and win the tag titles. Z & E cooperated well to neutralize Steiner on the outside. Steiner tried bringing a chair into the ring a few times but Z &E thwarted it. Steiner inadvertently hit Drake with a chair and Everett hit a standing Shooting Star Press for the win.
WINNER: DJ Z & Andrew Everett win the Impact Tag Titles.
After the match, Steiner tried to check on Drake in the ring as Z & E celebrated on the ramp.
McMahon’s Analysis: What is happening with Eli Drake? He’s taken losses on back-to-back shows. In fact, he’s taken losses in back-to-back matches. They closed last week’s show with Drake getting pinned, and then opened this week’s show with Drake getting pinned. Unless something drastically changes over the next few weeks, the idea that Drake’s contract is up and he’s leaving the company seems like it could be legitimate.
— Back from the break, Z &E are celebrating backstage. They both talked about how much they have overcome. Petey Williams ran into the camera shot and gave them a hug. They said they were just getting started.
— Josh Mathews and Madison Rayne were in front of the green screen set. Mathews said that Rayne would provide commentary for the knockouts matches.
McMahon’s Analysis: I feel like I need to reiterate this every week, but that green screen set looks absolutely terrible. It looks cheap and low-rent.
(2) KIERA HOGAN vs. TESSA BLANCHARD
Kiera charged Blanchard just as the bell rang. Hogan flew in on Blanchard and delivered a big boot in the corner. Blanchard continued to dominate most of the match physically. Hogan fired back with a slap and they brawled, with Hogan throwing elbows. Hogan hit a side kick to Blanchard’s face. The announcers built up that Tessa could lose her debut match. Rayne kept saying, over and over, that the only thing that could get in Tessa’s way was Tessa. Mathews said that “this isn’t the indie scene, this is Impact Wrestling!” Blanchard quickly came back with a hammerlock DDT for the win.
WINNER: Tessa Blanchard in 4:00.
Rayne said she was impressed and she hoped she could keep her ego in check. Blanchard attacked Hogan after the match and Madison Rayne hit the ring to stop the attack. Tessa yelled at Rayne and she charged her, sending Tessa scrambling to the back.
McMahon’s Analysis: The match was actually pretty good … the commentary was horrific. It’s just the same thing every week. The voice of the show needs to change if Impact officials want the perception of the show to change. Mathews comes across like a lite version of a WWE commentator, and not a good one. He’s like a lite Tom Phillips. He’s too polished and doesn’t emote nearly enough emotion. I don’t dislike Mathews … I just dislike his utilization as an announcer. He seems to be a really good employee, doing a lot for the company, but I’d rather see him utilized as a heel manager. He’s annoying. Let that shine. He could be the poor man’s Paul Heyman, in some ways.
— Grado confronted Jimmy Jacobs and Kongo Kong backstage and said that he knew they attacked Joseph Park. Jacobs said that they only cared about Abyss, and that’s over with. Jacobs said that Grado needs to stop making accusations or he’ll be laid out. Katarina said that Grado would fight Kongo Kong any time, any place.
— A promo aired for the TV tapings on June 1 and June 2 in Canada.
— A video aired on Callihan vs. Edwards.
(3) GRADO (w/Katarina) vs. KONGO KONG (w/Jimmy Jacobs)
Katarina egged on Grado and Grado began firing off punches that Kongo did not sell. Kongo came back with an uppercut to the face. Grado kicked out of an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Grado hit the big elbow but Kong stood there. Grado went to the top rope and tried for a flying shoulder tackle and that knocked down Kong, but he got right back up and hit a bodyslam. Kong hit a splash off the top for the win.
WINNER: Kongo Kong in 3:00.
After the match, Katarina left the ring after Kong and Jacobs started at her. Kong threw Grado to the outside and Jacobs instructed Kong to throw Grado into the steps. Kong wedged the steps into the ropes and Mathews reminded us that this was the same thing they did to Johnny Impact last month. Kong scooped up Grado and went to lawn dart him into the steps but Moose showed up and stopped the attack. Moose and Kong brawled on the ramp and in the aisle. In the ring, Moose hit a big kick and clotheslined Kong to the outside. Jacobs then pulled back Kong.
McMahon’s Analysis: “Is he here?!?!?! … Well, Josh, Moose’s music was playing and he was standing in the entranceway, so yes, I think he’s here. That’s my biggest pet peeve with wrestling announcers. Don’t act stupid. Josh isn’t the only one who uses dumb lines like this, but he seems to use it a lot. Jim Ross might be the best announcer ever, and even he used this tactic from time to time.
— LAX was outside and Santana was on the phone. Trevor Lee and Caleb Konley came on the scene and Lee kept asking to talk to Konnan. Lee said that they almost beat LAX for the tag team titles, but when they lose, Konnan was there.
— Tommy Dreamer was talking to Eddie Edwards and said that after tonight, the feud between him and Callihan is over. Dreamer gave him a kendo stick. Edwards said it will be over when he says it’s over.
(4) EDDIE EDWARDS vs. SAMI CALLIHAN — Street Fight (from House of Hardcore)
Mathews said this would be a fight, not a wrestling match. Edwards charged at Callihan and the match began on the outside. Callihan went to use a spike on Edwards’ eye but he jammed his thumb in Callihan’s eye. The brawl moved to the ramp, where Callihan used a wet floor sign to beat Edwards over the back. Edwards hit Callihan with a Coke can and then DDT’ed him on the apron. Edwards and Callihan dueled with lead pipes. Edwards had a kendo stick. Callihan spit in Edwards face and challenged him to take a kendo shot, but Callihan but Edwards with a low blow and then a Get Outa Here for a two count. Edwards hit Callihan with a low blow and then tried drive him through two setup chairs but Callihan countered and put Edwards through the chairs. Callihan picked up a baseball bat but Edwards hit the Boston Knee Party for the win.
WINNER: Eddie Edwards in 11:00.
Edwards immediately began attacking Callihan again, strangling him with the baseball bat. Security tried to stop the attack. Tommy Dreamer tried to talk to Edwards. Mathews asked at what point Edwards becomes the villain?
— Brian Cage was wrestling for Destiny Wrestling in Canada. Highlights were shown.
— Su Yung had a funeral for Rosemary. The undead brides carried the coffin into a wooded area as music played in the background. Su Yung grabbed her throat and spit fire at the casket, setting it on fire in the field. Yung and the undead brides then watched it burn.
(5) EL HIJO DEL FANTASMA & PENTAGON JR. vs. MATT SYDAL & AUSTIN ARIES
Sydal and Fantasma began the match. The pace began to pick up, and so did the response from the crowd. Aries and Pentagon then tagged in.
Back from a break, Pentagon and Fantasma were double-teaming Sydal and then hit a double-team Codebreaker. Back in the ring, Aries kicked Fantasma in the back. Aries hit a big foremarm off the top on Fantasma. Fantasma tagged in Pentagon, who hit a sling blade and then a back cracker for a two count. Fantasma tagged back in. Aries tagged in Sydal, who hit double knees on Fantasma. Pentagon broke up a pin, kicking Sydal in the head. Fantasma caught Sydal with a cutter. Sydal hit a hurricanrana on Fantasma off the top rope. Sydal tried for a Shooting Star Press but Pentagon caught him with a superkick. Fantasma hit the Thrill of the Kill on Sydal for the win.
WINNERS: El Hijo Del Fantasma & Pentagon Jr. in 19:00.
McMahon’s Analysis: Not a great show, but this was a really fun main event. I often believe that just tagging two singles wrestlers together who are in separate singles feuds is lazy booking, but Fantasma and Pentagon have a relationship in Mexico, so it made some sense. All that side, the match itself was really good.