10/4 IMPACT WRESTLING RESULTS: McMahon’s live report on Swann vs. Sydal, Murder Clown vs. Hendry, Aries/Impact face off

BY MIKE MCMAHON, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR


MCMAHON’S IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT
Oct. 4, 2018
Taped from Ciudad de México, Mexico (Fronton Mexico)
Aired on Pop TV

Announcers: Josh Mathews & Don Callis

Immediately following Impact on POP TV, head over to pwtorchlivecast.com and listen to Mike McMahon and Andrew Soucek break down this week’s Impact and talk anything and everything Impact Wrestling on the Thursday PWTorch Livecast. Call the show at 515-605-9345 or listen online at pwtorchlivecast.com 

— Impact began with highlights from last week’s episode.

— The Impact opening montage aired.

(1) Matt Sydal def. Rich Swann

Ethan Page returned in this match and sided with Sydal, helping him get the win with a distraction.

McMahon: Very good match, and it was a nice surprise to see Page return. Page is underrated as a talent and he can do some good things with Impact. He’s not Joseph Park’s nephew anymore, apparently, but we’ll just forget about that (I guess). Overall, that was a fun way to open the show. Wrestling … how ’bout that. 

— Backstage, Dave Crist is freaking out that the Lucha Brothers used their magic powers on him last week. Callihan insists that the Lucha Brothers are not magical.

— Eddie Edwards gets a call from Alisha’s phone, but when he answers Moose has the phone and tells Edwards he has his wife. Moose told Edwards to meet him at a place they both know from 2014.

(2) La Parka def. Eli Drake via count-out

McMahon: This looked like it was Impact just trying to get La Parka on the show, and La Parka didn’t want to do the job in Mexico. So … why put La Parka on the show? Drake lost by count-out, so it doesn’t hurt him all that much, but if La Parka didn’t want to do the job, I’d rather just have someone else fill that spot. It seems pointless to allow La Parka to get a win, even a count-out win, considering the chances of Impact using him again are really slim.

— Backstage, the OGZ confront LAX. There is a cease fire, so neither group wants to throw the first punch. Konnan said he raised Kingston, and Kingston said he raised a snake. Kingston took some of LAX’s tequila and when he went to take a sip, saying it was for Richie, he spit the tequila in Konnan’s face. Ortiz and Santana begged Konnan to let them attack Kingston, but he refused.

— Matt Sydal was backstage with Ethan Page. He said Swann never opened his third eye, but Page did. Page ripped Swann for not following Sydal’s path. Sydal challenged Swann to a tag team match at Bound for Glory — Swann and a partner vs. Sydal and Page.

(3) Murder Clown def. Joe Hendry

McMahon: There was nothing overly great or overly bad about this. Hendry’s music was fine. Murder Clown looked like a villainous monster. Katarina orchestrating a beat down after the match means this will likely keep going, and I’m not sure anyone is all that excited about that.

— Eddie Edwards was roaming around Mexico looking for Alisha, who had been kidnapped by Moose. Moose told Eddie to put his kendo stick down and have a seat. Moose said Edwards wasn’t his friend and Kross and Aries are watching out for him. Moose tried to tell Edwards he was a bad friend. Edwards agreed he was a bad friend when he was going crazy with Dreamer, but he wanted to fight and then hug it out. Moose told Edwards that he couldn’t use his first name because they weren’t friends, and he would end him at Bound for Glory. Alisha threw a glass of water in Moose’s face and Edwards attacked him. Kross ran in the room to beat up Edwards. Alisha threw Edwards “Kenny” and he hit Kross, then they both ran away. While they were running, Edwards stopped and called Johnny Impact and told him to get Aries now because he was alone.

McMahon: Remember the move Billy Madison? There’s a quote from that movie that pretty much sums up my thoughts on this segment …

“Mr. Madison, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

This stuff is awful. First of all, there’s a kidnapping. Maybe the laws are different in Mexico, but when my wrestling show features attempted murder (Richie) and now kidnapping, and it’s on TV, I assume charges are going to be filed. From there, let’s talk about how there was just, apparently, a camera on Johnny Impact while he was standing backstage DOING LITERALLY NOTHING when his phone rang and it was Edwards to tell him to go get Aries.

Maybe some people like this type of production (although viewership numbers keep going down every week), but this stuff is getting out of hand. It’s not produced well. It doesn’t look good. It doesn’t make any damn sense. We’re looking through the dead eyes of children, we have kidnappings. I’m all for “trying new things” but this new thing sucks. They’re trying to do Lucha Underground, only Lucha Underground does it better. Under Dixie Carter the company was WWE-lite, but now it’s just Lucha Underground-lite. There’s no other way around it … it’s completely and totally awful. 

— Backstage, Johnny Impact was looking for Aries.

— In the ring, Johnny Impact called out Austin Aries. … Aries slowly came to the ring, limping and wearing a sling. Aries asked why he was out there, because he was hurt. Impact said he wanted to beat Aries at Bound for Glory, not tonight. Impact said he wanted to prove to everyone at Bound for Glory that he’s the best in the ring. Aries said that Impact would co-star in Aries’ movie at Bound for Glory. Aries asked Impact who he was this week? Johnny Nitro? Aries said he would wear plain black trunks and plain black boots against Impact at BFG because all Impact is about is the bells and whistles. Aries said it doesn’t matter what he looks like, it’s about what he is in the ring … Aries said Impact will never be as great as him. Aries said there is one more movie he can co-star in. Aries said Impact can do what Moose did, and that’s join his team. Aries said before Johnny changes his name to “Johnny 205,” he can let Aries get all the potential out of him. Aries hit Impact with a cheap shot, hitting him with the mic. Aries then took off the sling and kicked Impact, but he came back with a huge superkick. Impact hit Starship Pain and Aries rolled out of the ring.

— Brian Cage was backstage and told Sami Callihan that he has the balls. Cages said at the end of the night he would be in the ring to decimate all of oVe.

— The Desi Hit Squad was backstage trying to figure out what they’re doing wrong … Gama Singh came in with a broom and began beating them. He said next week, the Desi Hit Squad would face each other to find out who the weak link was.

— The GWN Moment aired … it was Hogan vs. Sting, but they teamed up and punched Eric Bischoff … this was not from 1998.

— Scarlet Bordeux walked into a room backstage and some guy was in the room and did a backflip to impress her. Next a Lucha wrestler walked in. Bordeaux walked into another room backstage and Petey Williams and Trevor Lee were hanging out. Williams and Lee were there to pitch her on being their manager. Williams tried to impress her by showing her how to do the Canadian Destroyer. He put his head between her legs (I’m serious). Lee said Williams was being a creep.

McMahon: Help me!!! Someone save me!!! I can’t do this anymore!!!

(4) Su Yung def. Kiera Hogan

After the match, Allie tried to save Kiera from a beatdown as the undead bridesmaids brought out a coffin. Allie was about to be put in the coffin with a mandible claw, but Kiera saved her. Then Su Yung grabbed Kiera and threw her in the coffin.

(5) Brian Cage, Fenix and Pentagon def. oVe via disqualification

oVe came to the ring and called out Brian Cage and the Lucha Brothers. After a commercial break, Cage, Pentagon and Fenix came to the stage and then ran to the ring where a brawl happened. Apparently this is a match, because there’s a referee in the ring. The Lucha Brothers and Cage make some quick offense on Callihan for a two count. Cage was about to strike Callihan and Callihan grabbed the referee to force a DQ.

The brawl continued after the match ended. Cage superplexed Crist over the top rope to the outside, on top of everyone. Impact went off the air in the middle of the brawl.

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