SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
WWE MAIN EVENT TV REPORT
JANUARY 13, 2019
HULU STREAMING TV
REPORT BY MIKE MEYERS, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR
Announcers: Percy Watson, Byron Saxton, Renee Young
REASONS TO WATCH…
- Main roster in-ring debut of Heavy Machinery.
- Percy’s continued sarcasm about in-ring nonsense.
(1) HEAVY MACHINERY vs. THE ASCENSION
Renee gave her full endorsement to Heavy Machinery as they made their Main Event debut, and talk quickly turned to Elimination Chamber and the crowning of new women’s tag champions. As Ascension entered, Byron drew the following comparison: “If Heavy Machinery is about steaks and weights, then the Ascension is about bitterness and anger.”
Tucker started out against Viktor, with Tucker running the ropes. He leapfrogged and ducked under Viktor, showing agility for his size, before eventually leveling Viktor with a shoulder block. Otis, on the apron, made a circular motion with his finger and shouted indistinctly, which apparently was the signal for Tucker to spin Viktor round like a hammer throw windup. This lasted for seven revolutions before dropping Viktor onto his back.
Tucker tagged in Otis, and the two squared up in the ring in three-point stance positions, and when Viktor got to his feet, they scrambled forth and knocked him down again with dual shoulder tackles. Tucker took his place on the apron while Otis made some more loud noises. Meanwhile, Viktor tagged in Konnor. Konnor and Otis squared off briefly, then locked up. After breaking the tie-up in a stalemate, Konnor shoulder blocked Otis with little effect. Konnor front kicked Otis in the gut, causing him to stagger and tag in Tucker.
Tucker entered and the duo delivered dual punches to Konnor’s midsection, doubling him over in pain. Never missing an opportunity for a tactical advantage, Heavy Machinery performed the Bushwhacker march in a circle around Konnor. If there was any doubt that this was referencing the Kiwis, the announce team confirmed as much.
Konnor tagged in Viktor after this celebration, who pounced from above and got the upper hand on Tucker, delivering multiple kicks and an elbow drop before covering for a two-count. The Ascension made multiple quick tags, laying in lots of kicks, chops, and elbow drops to the struggling Tucker. Konnor eventually missed a spear in the corner, causing him to collide shoulder-first with the ring post. This allowed Tucker to crawl to his corner and tag in Otis just as Konnor tagged in Viktor.
Otis alternated between clotheslining Viktor to the mat and splashing Konnor in the corner. Otis continued his punishment of Viktor with a fallaway slam and a spinning release body slam. Otis backed away from the prone Viktor and looked around at the crowd, who began to come to life. Otis rhythmically slapped his shoulder while Renee exclaimed, “Shake what your momma gave you!” Percy indicated that this was a little excessive of Renee. Otis performed the “Caterpillar,” splashed Viktor at the tail end of the sequence, then tagged in Tucker. They combined to land the Compactor on Viktor, and Tucker covered for the three-count.
WINNERS: Heavy Machinery by pinfall.
(Meyers’s Analysis: This is noteworthy as the main roster in-ring debut for Heavy Machinery. The match was brief, and mainly served to show off the team’s gimmickry: A march stolen from WWE Hall of Famers, high-impact double team moves, and the physical comedy of a big man breakdancing. Interesting that both the announce team and the wrestlers staged Otis, clearly the shorter half of Heavy Machinery, as the big man of the team. I am amused by Otis‘s general behavior – his facial expressions, voice, and yelling. Their finisher, the Compactor, is an impressive one-two combo of an assisted power slam followed by a body splash on the mat.)
-Main Event recap session:
- Seth Rollins video package, showing his title and Royal Rumble victories
- Replay of Paul Heyman and Seth Rollins live promos from Raw
- Replay of Triple H, Stephanie, and Vince McMahon interactions with Becky Lynch from Raw
- Replay of Charlotte in-ring promo from Smackdown
- Explanation of Elimination Chamber rules for women’s tag match, including strange graphic depicting the ring layout
- Match rundown for upcoming PPV, Elimination Chamber
(2) TYLER BREEZE & B-TEAM vs. JINDER MAHAL & THE SINGH BROTHERS
For reasons unknown, Sunil performed the “Bollywood Dance” while squaring off against Axel. For no apparent reason, Axel performed “the Floss.” Axel ducked an attack from a charging Sunil, then proceeded to beat him down in the corner to the rhythm of the “B-Team” chant with the audience. The show cut to commercial.
After the break, Dallas and Sunil were both down in the ring, after an exhausted Dallas sprung up from the corner to level him with a clothesline. Dallas made a hot tag to Axel, who raced across the ring to level Sunil and knock Samir and Mahal down from the apron. Axel snap mared Sunil and landed the Perfect neck snap. Axel postured to the crowd to a decent cheer. Sunil was able to tag in Mahal who entered the ring and knocked down Axel with a big boot. Mahal covered for a two-count.
Both of the Singhs tagged in but were individually thwarted by Axel during their attacks. Sunil had his arms locked around Axel’s waist from behind in the corner, allowing Breeze to make a blind tag in. Sunil rolled Axel up into a valueless pin while Breeze, the new legal man, entered and twisted Sunil into a single-leg crab. Sunil managed to crawl to the ropes near his corner, allowing Samir to tag in. Breeze retreated, turned back round, only to catch a double crescent kick from the Singhs. Samir did a prancy sort of jig over the prone Breeze, then bounced off the ropes. Breeze sprung to his feet and landed the Beauty Shot – a spinning wheel kick – on the charging Samir. Breeze covered for the three-count.
WINNERS: Tyler Breeze & B-Team by pinfall.
(Meyers’s Analysis: Tyler Breeze has reduced his fine, full beard back to a mere five o’clock shadow. After seeing this, the rest of the match faded into a blur. There was some dancing.)
SHOW SCORE (0-10): 6.6
FINAL THOUGHTS: Like last week, Main Event continues to be the warm-up territory for incoming NXT talent. Heavy Machinery will no doubt be cast as “zany big boys,” which is a shame in the wake of the Revival’s stunningly great title victory on Raw. Wilder and Dawson are trying their damnedest to legitimize the tag division and its championship, but they, and Heavy Machinery, will have to fight an uphill battle to give the division the spotlight and buildup that it deserves.
CHECK OUT LAST WEEK’S REPORT: 2/6 WWE MAIN EVENT REPORT: Lacey Evans debuts in the ring, Percy speaks truth about No Way Jose’s antics