SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
STARDOM GLORY STARS
MAY 5, 2019
TOKYO, JAPAN AT SHIN-KIBA 1ST RING
AIRED ON STARDOM WORLD
REPORT BY HARLEY R. PAGEOT, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR
Oedo Tai’s music played and Kagetsu and Andras Miyagi came out carrying paper lanterns. They were both dressed in jeans and t-shirts and Kagetsu had a backpack on and a backwards baseball cap. She said she wasn’t okay with what happened yesterday but she’d try to cheer up. She said Oedo Tai had a gift for any bad little kids and told them to see the old guy at the reception table. Oedo Tai also had a collaboration bento with Pink Cat Bus. She encouraged the fans to buy five of them. She asked the fans to cheery loudly during their show. Most importantly, she and Miyagi had an announcement. The fans oohed. Kagetsu said they’re getting married! No, that’s not it. Miyagi has officially joined the Stardom roster full-time. Kagetsu said yesterday Bea Priestley joined too. Kagetsu took Miyagi’s official Stardom track jacket out of her backpack and presented it to her. She joked about Miyagi never speaking but gave her the mic. Miyagi yelled, “Hey! You Shinkiba bastards! Today, I join Stardom. Give a big round of applause for hell’s very own Andras Miyagi.” She told the fans to thank the demons for allowing them to hear her voice. She ran away. Kagetsu said it’s rare Miyagi speaks so, when she does, we should pay attention.
Kagetsu introduced our guest ring announcer for the show, Mayu Iwatani! Iwatani came out wearing the fancy dress and hat of our usual ring announcer, Yurie Kozakai. Kagetsu asked why she looks so cute. Iwatani said she was embarrassed. It was the first time in her life she had her hair braided. Kagetsu told her not to make any mistakes as ring announcer. Iwatani said she’d pay Oedo Tai 10,000 yen every time she screws up. Kagetsu thanked her for taking the job but said she wasn’t getting paid for this. Kagetsu left and Iwatani ran down the card.
-Kimura said that dog Kagetsu lost her title yesterday and isn’t doing well but TCS is going to have a good time. Hoshiki said she was with young Stars (Iida & Hanan) and her favorite, Tam-chan. Nakano high-fived Iida and Hanan but ignored Hoshiki. Watanabe said TCS and Stars are all troublesome. She wanted to beat Hoshiki convincingly in a preview of their upcoming white belt match.
Iwatani and Natsu Sumire were the guest commentators for the match, calling the action over the house mics. They debated which would also be the timekeeper. Iwatani rang the bell.
(1) STARS (Artist Of Stardom Champion Tam Nakano, Arisa Hoshiki, Hanan, & Saya Iida) vs. QUEEN’S QUEST (World Of Stardom Champion Bea Priestley, Wonder Of Stardom & Goddess Of Stardom Champion Momo Watanabe, Leo Onozaki, & Hina) vs. TOKYO CYBER SQUAD (Hana Kimura, Rebel Kel, Ruaka, & Rina)
Hanan Shimai started against each other. Sumire, “According to my sources, Hanan likes to use too much hand cream. She also said Rina wears too much mascara. TCS with four abdominal stretches on Stars but QQ broke it up. Sumire and Iwatani discussed Ruaka’s love of boy bands as Iida worked her over. Sumire said Japanese people don’t like Kel because they’re all short. Stars saved Nakano from a chokeslam attempt. Iwatani asked where Producer P has been. Sumire said he saw that things were going downhill so he bailed. Watanabe and Hoshiki battled. Sumire said Watanabe’s mom is young and used to be a juvenile delinquent. Stars hit a four-woman chain suplex on QQ. Stars isolated Onozaki. Hoshiki hit a high knee and the Brazilian kick for the pin.
WINNERS: Stars in 8:18.
(Pageot’s Perspective: The match was a typical twelve-person match with lots of chaos. Sumire was, as always, tremendous on commentary. She was blatantly reading facts about the wrestlers off of her phone but was very funny in the process. Iwatani didn’t say much but played the straight woman well.)
-Kashima said she faces that sad relic Kashima. She’s stuck in the old era but it’s time for a new era. Kashima said it was her birthday. This match was like a birthday present from Oedo Tai but she didn’t want it. Last time they fought Sumire sung her entrance theme. She can’t do that today. If she does, she’ll slaughter her.
Sumire entered first to “Mr. Saxobeat”, her usual theme. Kashima’s music played and Sumire of course sang along over the house mic. Natsuko Tora and Kagetsu restrained Kashima from interrupting. Ring announcer Iwatani clapped along to Sumire’s singing. Sumire thanked the crowd like a rock star wrapping up a concert. She headed backstage but Kashima attacked her from behind and dragged her back to the ring.
(2) ARTIST OF STARDOM CHAMPION SAKI KASHIMA vs. NATSU SUMIRE – THEME SONG REVENGE MATCH
Sumire said it’s enough. She can’t excite the fans any more than she already has. She announced that it was Kashima’s birthday. Tora handed her a bag. Sumire sang “Happy Birthday To You” in an overly-emotional manner. Her present to Kashima was a plastic bag of discount items from Don Quijote. Kashima attacked her again. Sumire fought back and said she did a good thing. They argued while trading blows. Kagetsu tripped Kashima as she ran the ropes. Sumire tried to spray water on Kashima but accidentally caught Kagetsu’s shirt as well.
Sumire re-entered the ring as Kashima lay on the floor. The referee leaned though the ropes, checking on Kashima. Sumire kicked the ropes in anger, accidentally low blowing the referee. Oedo Tai rolled Kashima into the ring. Sumire whipped Kashima into the corner, trapping the referee. Sumire charged, Kashima moved, and a drop toe-hold sent Sumire head-first into the ref’s groin. Kashima charged, repeat, and it was low blow #3 for the ref. Sumire hit her northern lights suplex but he was too hurt to count the pin. As she argued with him Kashima snuck up from behind for a small package. Top rope double-stomp but Sumire kicked out. Sumire caught a kick from Kashima and swung her leg out and into referee low blow #4. Kashima blocked Sumire’s crotch assault in the corner by hitting her with her own whip. Sumire responded by kicking Kashima between the legs. She tried to return the favor but Sumire pulled the referee in front of her for low blow #5 and the DQ.
WINNER: Natsu Sumire in 7:52 by disqualification.
-Kashima yelled that this wasn’t the end. She stormed off. Sumire told her not to be salty because she got disqualified.
(Pageot’s Perspective: This has basically become the Natsu Sumire Showcase Hour and I’m all for it. They established both Sumire annoying Kashima by singing her entrance theme and the referee getting low blowed by them in previous matches so it set up these call-backs perfectly. So help me, I was a big fan of America’s Funniest Home Videos as a kid and I still giggled through each of the five low blows here to our poor referee. I’m very glad to hear Kashima say that this isn’t over.)
-Kid reminded us that this was originally scheduled to be a three-way before AZM got injured. This is her third week in a row facing Hazuki in a singles match. She beat her in the Cinderella Tournament and wants to win the belt and defend against AZM. Hazuki said she’d do her best to defend successfully here and defend again against AZM at a later date.
(3) HAZUKI vs. STARLIGHT KID – HIGH SPEED CHAMPIONSHIP
Even back and forth to start. Kid hit the tiger feint kick at 2:00 but Hazuki avoided the standing moonsault and hit a codebreaker. Crossface from Hazuki. Hurricanrana into a pin but Hazuki kicked out. Falcon arrow but Kid kicked out. Swinging neckbreaker from Kid and both were down. They both kipped up at 4:17 and traded pinning combinations.
WINNER: Hazuki in 4:34 to retain the high speed title.
(Pageot’s Perspective: She doesn’t get paid by the hour. With how rarely championships move in Stardom it seemed highly unlikely that we’d see a change here just one night after the top title in the promotion switched hands. Maybe if AZM had been healthy? I could have seen her pinning Kid to continue the story of Queen’s Quest taking all the gold. We’ll never know.)
-Miyagi addressed us bastards watching Stardom World. She said we better be thankful that we can hear her words. She told us to sharpen our ears and listen up. Storm said she was almost dead but it was okay because she felt like her match with Miyagi was going to be good. Miyagi frisked the referee for weapons and mussed up his hair.
(4) NXT UK WOMEN’S CHAMPION TONI STORM vs. ANDRAS MIYAGI – NON-TITLE MATCH
Lots of headlock work from Miyagi in the opening minutes. Storm hit a trio of rolling suplexes at 5:10. Top rope dropkick from Miyagi. Storm avoided a top rope senton. Release German suplex from Storm. Piledriver for the win.
WINNER: Toni Storm in 9:49.
(Pageot’s Perspective: Yawn. Because Storm is obviously never going to lose, every match is just a question of whether she’ll win or whether it will go to a time limit draw. Champions like Watanabe get the draw. Wrestlers like Nakano and Miyagi get pinned. Konami will probably get pinned on tomorrow’s show too. I don’t really see the benefit to the Stardom wrestlers and it’s not building to anything for Storm since WWE prevented them from doing the “top gaijin” match against Bea Priestley that they had originally intended as the crescendo to her tour.)
-Kyona said tomorrow is the TCS show so they wanted to get the main event over with so they could prepare. Tora said May 5 is Children’s Day in Japan so they were going to show the kids what Oedo Tai was all about.
(5) OEDO TAI (World Of Stardom Champion Kagetsu & Natsuko Tora) vs. TOKYO CYBER SQUAD (Jungle Kyona & Konami)
Kyona and Tora started things off. Tora and Kagetsu wrestled in their camouflage jumpsuits. Tora circled Kyona before tagging out without them touching. Konami and Kagetsu locked up instead. Back to Tora and Kyona a minute later. They unloaded with forearms and slaps to each other’s chests. Both teams brawled into the crowd. Tora hit Kyona with a chair and whipped her hard into the ring post. Tora tossed her former friend around by the hair. Oedo Tai tagged in and out, working over Kyona. Boston crab from Tora. Rope break. Tag to Konami at 9:00. Double armbar to Tora and Kagetsu. Kyona tagged back in and traded blows with Tora. A clothesline put down Tora. Kyona with a sharpshooter. Konami tried to hold Kagetsu back but she escaped and freed Tora. Diving clothesline from Kyona to Tora. Tora with a spear but Kyona popped back up. A second put them both down. Tags. Konami and Kagetsu traded kicks. Dragonscrew leg whip from Kagetsu. She wrapped Konami’s right leg around the middle rope and connected with a running dropkick. Springboard missile dropkick to the hurt leg. Stretch mufflre to Kagetsu. Tora broke it up. The New Day’s Midnight Hour to Kagetsu. Death valley driver from Kagetsu to Konami. Another. Oedo Coaster missed. Tora prevented the triangle lancer. Tora hit Konami with the placard. Kagetsu spit water in her face. A third death valley driver and the Oedo Coaster connected but Konami kicked out! A fourth death valley driver in the center of the ring was enough.
WINNERS: Oedo Tai in 18:08.
-Kagetsu said she lost the red belt yesterday but won today. She dubbed herself The Original Red King. Kagetsu said she and Konami will have a singles match someday. Tora asked the fans if they preferred the old Oedo Tai or the new Oedo Tai. They leaned toward the old one. She clarified if they liked it better now that she’s a member and they somewhat cheered. She said the new generation of Oedo Tai will have a new saying but it’s troublesome to explain. “We are the best! And we are the worst! We are Oedo Tai!”
(Pageot’s Perspective: Good match. The new Oedo Tai doesn’t dance and they wear camouflage jumpsuits instead of jackets. Also Miyagi and Tora are members now. Beyond that it’s unclear what else is really different. Kagetsu without the red belt looks very strange, though. It will be very interesting to see what she does next and how they still keep her near the top of the card without a championship.)