PWTorch editor Wade Keller presents a special Thursday Flagship edition of the Wade Keller Pro Wrestling Podcast featuring a WrestleMania 36 Preview with ex-WWE Creative Team member and professional stand-up comedian Matt McCarthy.
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WWE TOTAL DIVAS (Season Finale)
DECEMBER 10, 2019
AIRED ON E!
REPORT BY SARAH K, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR
To recap: Nia Jax needs knee surgery, Ronda sustained a boxer’s fracture in her farewell match at WrestleMania, Nattie and Sonya Deville fought last time, and I believe we left last episode with Nattie, Ariana, and Liv Morgan surfing and someone had some sort of accident on this beach vacation. Oh, and the Bella Twins will be shoe-horned in here somehow even though it will add nothing. Alright, let’s start this season finale!
Carmella is photographed topless and hugging a rock by Sonya and Nikki, while the Liv, Nattie, and Ariana learn to surf. Liv Morgan and Nattie both stepped on sea urchins. Boy, that was not the shark attack they were trying to promise us at the end of last week’s episode. “Oh yes, your ass looks amazing!” Yes, that’s what Carmella said to Sonya. You hear that, young girls and otherwise impressionable people watching this show? Yeah, that’s the sound of the old lady writing this recap saying to read a book and get better role models. While Liv and Nattie are getting their feet fixed, Nikki Facetimes with Artem. Anyhoo, sea urchin can’t be removed, you just have to wait for it to go away. In the car on the way back, Ariana does the most magnanimous thing she’s done on film – which is to apologize for the drama that ensued previously. In the mean time, Ronda is getting her knuckle fixed. Standard footage of someone being wheeled down a hallway in a gurney. Ronda summarizes the situation: “I don’t want to be a hand model, I just want to punch stuff.” And commercial.
Nattie and Liv limp back into the beach house (or wherever they’re staying). Nattie tries to smooth things over with Sonya. Sonya has a small meltdown. Yeah, women + alcohol is not an awesome combination. In the mean time, Ronda is wheeled out from surgery and greets Travis and her mom. So, back in Hawaii, the girls sit on the beach, Liv is grateful to be on this vacation; this is apparently her first vacation because she was poor growing up. Nattie is grateful for her ninth Margherita. Brie has a heart to heart with Sonya about what’s happened on this vacation. Evidently Sonya’s plan was to tell Ariana that she “loves her” for the first time ever on this trip. All the brunettes are congregated together. Carmella talks about how she wants to move in with Corey. Brie Bella then invites Liv’s mom to join the vacation – so we get our feel-good moment.
Sonya has decided to have one of her “sexy pics” printed and framed for Ariana. And Nia is going in for double knee surgery. Nia is worried about whether or not she will be able to wrestle after this surgery. Anyway, everyone is getting ready to get on the sunset cruise, and Sonya and Carmella are late. Yes, they missed the boat launch.
Luckily, after the commercial, the boat comes back to shore to pick up Sonya and Carmella. Sonya and Carmella apologize to Nattie. They agree to all try to have a good time. Nattie and Sonya hug. They do cheesy boat things like the Titanic pose. Also, it’s Liv’s first time on a boat. Moving on, Nia made it through surgery. Afterward she Facetimes her mom. Nia wants to be back by the next WrestleMania. We shall see if that transpires. Sonya and Ariana go off on their own; they swim by a waterfall. Anyway, Sonya gives Ariana the framed photo. And then she tells Ariana that she loves her. “I love you too, babe,” is the response. BTW, Ariana is not wearing hair extensions, in the event that you were keeping track.
After the commercial, Sonya gave Ariana another small gift – a box with a key in it. Yup, Sonya is moving to Tampa to accommodate Ariana. Anyway, the Bellas depart. Nia calls Nattie to give her a post-surgery update. And then Trinity finally shows up for the girl’s trip now that all the stupidity has transpired. They all sit in the pool and toast to Trinity. “I’m always the last one to the party, but I feel that I always show up at the right time.” Anyhoo, they’re going to surprise Liv with a visit from her mom. Nattie gives some weird long speech as Liv’s mom shows up. Yeah, this is totally awkward, and then Liv’s mom shows up at the end of the speech and Liv bursts into tears of happiness. Of course we have to get a video of the Bellas announcing that they invited Liv’s mom. Everyone toasts Gigi.
They have native dancers show up at the house and everyone gets a little cutaway where they talk about the progress they’ve made in the past year. Nattie is more resilient since her dad died. Sonya thinks she’s going to main event WrestleMania. Carmella won a match with a stipulation that no one remembers… and commercial.
Nattie then plans a surprise party for Ronda. And then everyone waves goodbye to the house. They show wistful footage of palm trees. So, onto this surprise party – yes, T.J. and Jimmy Uso are there. They show a video of almost everyone in the cast congratulating Ronda and wishing her well. Nattie’s message is the sappiest. Ronda gives a speech with the standard point about how much fun it was, how great it was to make friends in the industry, and how the women are revolutionizing the business, yada yada yada. “You know, I don’t know what the future holds…” Ronda doesn’t know if she can stay retired.
And that’s it!