SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
The show opens with a recap of sorts. You know, in case you forgot who Miz and Maryse were, or that they have a toddler and another baby on the way. Did anyone forget? No, good, on with the show.
Evidently the first conflict of season 2 will be the birthday party Maryse wants to have for Monroe, who turns 1. Miz wants a cheap party, Maryse wants something fancy, showy, and big. Anyone think Miz is going to get his way? Of course not. Anyway, they’re in a hotel room, and Maryse is taking a quiz to determine Mike’s sex personality. I guess that’s a thing? The last quiz I took was to determine whether or not I was a Pennsylvanian; I’m PA all the way… yeah, I’m from MI and live in MI. Quizzes. The crux of the matter is that Zack Ryder made fun of Miz and called him Missionary Mike, and I guess it stuck or was filmed, so, here we are. This is the part where Miz drops his towel and offers to have sex with Maryse “right now.”
Moving on, Maryse looks at a spa as a setting for Monroe’s party. It’s adorable. It’s also expensive. Having a party there with pedicures, make-up, and cotton candy will apparently run $10.8K. You know Miz is being a tightwad, although that is a ridiculous amount of money to spend on a toddler. Maryse says she can throw the party for a mere $500. Leaving the spa, Miz pretends to want a coffee to prove to Maryse that he will screw her in the car, to prove that he’s sexually adventurous. Crap, I’m going to have to use all the weird adjectives for sex, aren’t I? At the very least, Miz and Maryse crawl into the back of the car… and pretend to do it.
Back from commercial, Miz is at WrestleMania Axxess. Miz’s dad is there too. People chant for him. Maryse and Miz then go to a bakery. Maryse picks out a $250. Miz doesn’t believe she’s only gonna spend $500. Maryse then negotiates a deal with the cake shop. Moving along, Miz and Maryse meet up with Zack Ryder and his girlfriend Chelsea Green. I know, it’s hard to believe Zack’s girlfriend is an actual living breathing woman and not an action figure. They discuss this quiz. Titus O’Neal makes a cameo. Titus has some suggestions about how they can spice up their sex life. Anyway, Maryse is again trying to trade social media posts for birthday stuff. Yeah, this is kinda weird.
Well, it’s time for Monroe’s party. It’s fancy, I guess. Notable guests are: Ryan Cabrera, Maria and Mike (and their baby), Miz’s Mom, and Elias. Yes, the drifter does one year old parties. Evidently, in order to get the venue, Miz has to show up in gear and take pics to get the venue free.
Miz puts on his whole Karate Kid gear and takes pics. Or, as he puts it, “I have to work my daughter’s birthday party.” Ooh ooh, Elias is going to sing the children a song with Miz and Ryan Cabrera. Miz sings a song. Uhm, he doesn’t exactly have a future career as a musician. Total cost of the party $426.72. “I should sell you more often, the things I could get,” says Maryse after she apologizes for pimping Miz out to get the venue. Anyway, Twinkle Play Place was the venue. Anyhoo, Miz and Maryse have sex in some random room in their hotel. Supposedly he’s Misionary Mike no more.
The show ends with the family going to their WrestleMania Suite. There are teddy bears pinned to the wall, which is weird. Anyway, Miz leave to have his match with Shane McMahon. Oh, this is where Miz’s dad has his moment in the middle of the ring in fighter’s stance. Anyway, Miz suplexes Shane off a scaffold and Monroe sleeps through it.
Teasers for the rest of the season are that they move back to L.A., and Maryse is pregnant – so, pregnancy hijinx.