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BEING THE ELITE EP. 239 – “FENDER BENDER”
POSTED ON YOUTUBE.COM
JANUARY 25, 2021
REPORT BY ZACH GRAHAM, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR
Watch it HERE.
1. Private Party side with Matt Hardy as Young Bucks try to talk them out of his manipulation.
2. Sammy Guevara wins number one contenders match to challenge John Silver for BTE Championship next week in a field goal kicking contest.
3. Brandon Cutler accidentally hits Christopher Daniels’ rental van in the Daily’s Place parking lot.
– Matt and Nick Jackson were standing in front of an image of a couple of goats on a mountain side. Matt asked where they were at. The Good Brothers walked in and started making sexual gestures to Matt and Nick as they stood there confused and uncomfortable. Karl Anderson did the crotch chop and joked that they revived that from the dead, just like they revived the Too Sweet hand gesture from the dead. Matt looked at Nick and said that they’ve gotten even worse.
Gallows and Anderson ignored Matt’s comment and started bragging about their backstage attack of Penta last week on Dynamite as clips from the attack aired. Nick asked if Penta really deserved that and Gallows was quick to say yes. Matt said, while he appreciates it, the Lucha Bros only hit them with a single super kick a couple weeks ago, they didn’t have to take him out. Gallows and Anderson tried to defend themselves and Anderson said “that’s what the original Bullet Club does.” Matt and Nick still weren’t convinced. Matt, in his EVP role, was hesitant to celebrate Gallows and Anderson taking out one of the tag teams in the company. Eventually Matt started to come around and thanked them, but still thought they may have gone a little too far. Gallows asked if they were getting soft, Matt noted that they’re executive vice presidents in AEW. Gallows made a joke about Penta’s penis and they danced off screen. Matt and Nick then asked why they were standing in front of a green screen and suddenly the background picture was gone. The background changed a couple of times as Gallows made some jokes and they all laughed.
– The Being the Elite open aired.
– Matt and Nick Jackson were standing outside of the house they used for the Kenny Omega skit last week on Dynamite. Matt said they’re in a very beautiful part of Jacksonville. Matt said there’s a “big, Elite, pow wow” going on there, but they don’t know what it’s about. They said they’re actually late because they were taking in the scenic beach front view of the ocean. The camera spun around and showed the ocean, which was barely visible over the large sand hill they were staring at.
Matt and Nick approached the house and were staring at a small, narrow water feature along the side of the house. They joked that they were even more late now because they got distracted by the small Jacuzzi.
– The camera faded to Matt Jackson walking with Gallows and Anderson. Matt said they actually got into a small fender bender on their way to Daily’s Place. Gallows looked into the camera and said they may have committed a little crime and they all laughed. They were all laughing as they approached a white van. Christopher Daniels was standing next to it and said that it’s his van and asked if this was legit. All of them laughed together and Daniels asked who he should talk to. Matt quickly blamed Brandon Cutler. They all joked about calling Cutler into a meeting to scare him and tell him he hit Daniels’ van. Cutler then appeared from behind the row of vehicles and told Daniels he was going to leave a note on his car. Cutler went to hug Daniels and apologize while everyone laughed.
Matt then stepped aside to tell the story. He said Cutler drove into Daniels’ minivan with his own minivan and hit it when he pulled into a parking spot. Cutler was then shown trying to use his sweatshirt sleeve to wipe away the evidence on the back door of the van.
– A clip of Private Party cheating during their match with Matt Hardy played with commentary, which lead to the end of the match.
Matt and Nick Jackson approached Private Party backstage and asked if that was a heel turn. Kassidy asked them what a heel turn is and Matt said it’s when you go from being a good guy to a bad guy. Nick said he sees all the manipulation going on, first it’s Don Callis and Kenny, now it’s Matt Hardy with those two. Matt said they’re baby faces, just look at their outfits. Nick tried to convince them they are a lot like the Young Bucks.
Matt Hardy walked in and cut them off. Hardy said they’re not at all like the Young Bucks because they listen, they’re respectful, and they’re not egotistical. Hardy said he used to think the Young Bucks were okay, but they’re not. Hardy said Private Party have got it and they’re going to the top. Quen and Kassidy shook their heads in agreement with everything Hardy said. Hardy bragged that they’re already going for the Impact tag team titles in just a couple of weeks. Hardy said they’ll win the tag team battle royal next and come for them next. Matt and Nick didn’t seem phased. Nick tried to talk them out of it, but Quen and Kassidy weren’t listening. Matt and Nick gave up and walked off as Hardy reminded Private Party of all the things he’s done for them already. Hardy reassured them that they’re going to make millions of dollars and go down as the second greatest tag team in history.
– Jungle Boy was walking down a hallway and Kris Statlander jumped out from behind him and grabbed him.
– A man in a purple sweater was pouring himself a glass of ice water. He added in an entire packet of purple Kool Aid mix and stirred his drink. His phone was next to him when a voice started talking on speaker phone celebrating the quality of recruits he’s gotten. The caller ID revealed he was talking to “5.” The man went to take a drink and the camera slowly panned up to reveal it was Alex Abrahantes. 5 was still talking and trying to convince Abrahantes to help him get more recruits, maybe a legend. Abrahantes looked at the camera and said “this sounds like a job for the Kool Aid man.”
Dasha Gonzalez, Ortiz, and Sammy Guevara were all talking when Santana interrupted them. Santana said it’s been a few weeks and they still haven’t gotten to the bottom of their issue. Ortiz asked where Santana has been and Santana ignored him. Santana said they’re going to get to the bottom of this and started to walk away. They all joined him and they slow walked together to some music, they passed a couple people drinking purple Kool Aid, then a couple more. They walked outside and saw Tony Schiavone drinking some Kool Aid as well. Santana threw down his hat and said next week he’s getting to the bottom of this.
– Dark Order were in their lounge and Evil Uno was upset about their replacement table, which looked like a very cheap plastic table. Uno said he’s extremely disappointed, not only with the table, but with Hangman Page. Reynolds blamed Uno for not having a bouncy house and Silver yelled in agreement. Uno acknowledged he messed up. Silver asked Reynolds where his mermaids were and Reynolds said they disappeared, but he had them. They took turns blaming each other for failing to bring what they promised. They all acknowledged that Anna did her part, she didn’t bring anything just as she promised. In the end, they decided it was all 5’s fault and yelled at him. Cabana calmed them down and said they need to bond more than ever and there is only one way to do that. They all cheered slumber party, but Cabana said he was thinking orgy, but slumber party works too. Cabana told them all to get permission and have their moms call Cabana to confirm.
– Statlander was sitting with Jungle Boy and thanked him for co-supervising her experiment. Statlander then asked Jungle Boy if he knows about Mentos and Coca Cola. Jungle Boy said yes as Statlander handed him one and said “you know what to do.” They both opened cans of Coke and dropped a mento in. It fizzed a little bit, but Statlander covered her ears like she was expecting a loud noise. Statlander was disappointed that it wasn’t more explosive. Jungle Boy said you’re supposed to do it in a bottle and Statlander got defensive and told him to leave.
– John Silver introduced himself as the BTE Champion and fumbled his way through his next BTE number one contender challenge. Competitors were going to hang on a pull up bar and whoever stayed hanging the longest would win. Sammy Guevara, Fuego Del Sol, Luchasaurus, Shawn Deen, and Ryan Nemeth all participated. Sammy Guevara won with a time of 2 minutes. Silver and Guevara posed together and Silver announced that they’re going to try and kick field goals for the title next week.
– Matt Jackson was sitting at the airport with his wife, Scorpio Sky, Frankie Kazarian, and Brandon Cutler. He panned the sitting area, but stopped on Cutler, who appeared to be sleeping with one foot propped up in a chair. He zoomed the camera in on Cutler and back out and Cutler didn’t move an inch.
FINAL THOUGHTS: If Gallows and Anderson are supposed to be insanely annoying, it’s working for me. The constant sexual gestures and penis jokes are grating, which may be the point, but it’s a lot. I’m surprised all the penis jokes haven’t gotten these episodes flagged like episode 225 was. I’m struggling to understand the Private Party story. They sign with Hardy to help them; they fight him for weeks over the contract language and go so far as to call him a carny. Then, out of the blue, they’re all in on cheating and listening to him? I think they’ve skipped a few chapters here. What changed that lead to them being completely on board? I don’t mind where we’ve ended up here, but I don’t understand what changed their minds. I don’t think there was ever a turning point where they decided to listen to Hardy. It seems like they fought it, then on Dynamite last week, they were just all in on cheating? If you’re going to have stories flow from BTE to Dynamite like this, it needs to make sense and be cohesive. This story has been the opposite. It feels like chapters were skipped because they wanted this group to be at a place on Dynamite that they hadn’t reached in story on Being the Elite.
NOW CHECK OUT LAST WEEK’S BEING THE ELITE REPORT: 1/18 BEING THE ELITE REPORT: Young Bucks confront Kenny Omega and Matt Hardy disrespects Private Party