3/3 AEW DYNAMITE TV REPORT: Keller’s report on Cody & Velvet vs. Shaq & Jade, FTR & Tully vs. Jurassic Express, Paul Wight speaks

By Wade Keller, PWTorch editor


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AEW DYNAMITE TV REPORT
MARCH 3, 2021
JACKSONVILLE, FLA. AT DAILY’S PLACE
AIRED LIVE ON TNT
REPORT BY WADE KELLER, PWTORCH EDITOR

Commentators: Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone, Excalibur

Ring Announcer: Justin Roberts


[HOUR ONE]

-The AEW Dynamite opening aired. Then Ross introduced the show briefly as Cody Rhodes’s ring entrance began. Cody strutted onto the stage as Justin Roberts began his ring introductions.

(1) CODY RHODES (w/Arn Anderson) & RED VELVET vs. SHAQUILLE O’NEAL & JADE CARGILL

They replayed a clip of Jade attacking Velvet as some sort of explanation for this match taking place. Jade and then Shaq made their entrance onto the stage. Schiavone called Shaq one of the most recognizable athletes in the entire world. Shaq and Cody stared each other down from their respective corners. Cody then locked up with Shaq. Shaq powered Cody down. Shaq flexed his biceps (copyright Dana Brooke). They locked up again. Cody ducked Shaq and chopped him in the corner. Shaq no sold it and chopped Cody, then landed a forearm to his back. He whipped Cody into the ropes and backdropped him. He threw another hard chop to the chest, then a knee to the gut. Jade tagged herself in. Shaq shouted at Cody as he left the ring. Velvet entered also. Schiavone plugged more announcements from Tony Khan and Tully Blanchard’s return to the ring.

Jade tossed Velvet around and then pie-faced Cody. Cody took it out on Shaq by charging at him and knocking him to the floor. Austin Gunn whacked Shaq from behind with a chair. Shaq clotheslined him. Q.T. Marshall went after him. Shaq grabbed him. The ref intervened. Velvet them flip-dove onto Jade and Cody as they were arguing at ringside. She celebrated even though she took Cody out in addition to Jade. Jade applied a figure-four and flexed her arm. Velvet rolled her over. Jade broke the hold and pointed at her abs.

Velvet set up two tables at ringside, then re-entered the ring and fended off a Jade attack. Cody tagged in, so Shaq had to tag back in too. Shaq flexed his bicep again, then challenged Cody to a test of strength. Shaq powerbombed Cody seconds later. Cody up-punched Shaq and bodyslammed him. (The slam looked sloppy.) Shaq powered out. Jade and Velvet re-entered and exchanged slaps. Cody leaped over the top rope and crossbody blocked Shaq off the ring apron through two tables at ringside. Jade looked on in shock. Velvet speared Jade (which the director inexcusably missed). Arn gave Velvet some advice. She set up a slam, but Jade countered with a face plant for the win. They showed Shaq KO’d at ringside as Jade smiled and flexed her bicep at ringside.

WINNERS: Jade & Shaq in 12:00.

(Keller’s Analysis: The build for this match was so pointless and bad, I resented the match in general. They pulled it off well enough for a “Celebrity Fantasy Camp/P.R. Stunt” charade. The idea that Shaq’s size and power was enough to hold his own against Cody undercuts the idea that being an experienced pro wrestler can offset a non-wrestler’s size and power. The table spot was predictable once the tables were set up, but I’m sure a fun moment for a lot of viewers. The women were solid in doing rudimentary exchanges and an obligatory “look, ma, I’m a wrestler because I can do a blackflip off the ropes to the floor” spot. All in all, one of the worst builds to a match in history, but short of the disaster that it could have been. What Shaq was asked to do made sense and he was able to pull off well enough.) [c]

-The announcers commented on a replay of Shaq going through the tables. They showed Shaq being loaded into an ambulance.

-Schiavone stood outside an ambulance and said he wanted to check on Shaq’s condition. When he opened the door, though, Shaq wasn’t there anymore.

(2) PAC & REY FENIX vs. JOHN SKYLAR & D3

Pac hit a 450 on D3. Fenix then landed a sitout knee to the skull for the win.

WINNERS: Page & Fenix in under 1:00.

-The announcers hyped more matches on Dynamite coming up, plus the Inner Circle press conference. They also showed clips of what MJF and Chris Jericho did to The Young Bucks’ father last week. Excalibur noted that Tully Blanchard will have his first nationally televised match in 32 years later.

-MJF, Jericho, and Wardlow walked out to the ring. Schiavone said, regarding MJF’s gum chomping, “If my mom saw me chewing gum like that, she’d slap it out of my mouth.” Ross chuckled. (Tell ’em, Tony! And now say it about the Bucks the next time they come out chomping gum the same obnoxious way.) [c]

-Dasha stood at a podium in the ring with Inner Circle. A guy at ringside asked what the AEW Tag Team Titles mean to them. He said everyone knows that he is Le Champion, but it’s been one year since he lost the AEW World Title and it’s time he has a championship again. He said he’s held world tag team titles seven times with some of the biggest stars including Dwayne Johnson and “AEW’s own” Paul Wight. He said none of those partners are better than MJF, so it’s time for them beat the hell out of the Young Bucks just like they did to their father last week.

Conrad Thompson asked about Sammy Guevara returning to the Inner Circle. MJF called him Turkey Tits. Jericho insisted he leave the ringside podium. Conrad walked away. Another reporter asked MJF why they attacked the Bucks’ father. MJF said it was an act of self-defense. He said the worst part is he got his “backyard blood” all over his custom suit. Santana said they should have known better than to have brought their dad around there.

Eric Bischoff stepped up next and asked for an update on Papa Buck and where, on his list of stupid ideas, does motivating the Bucks for vengeance by attacking their dad rank. Jericho told him to shut up and they don’t care about the condition of Papa Buck. The Bucks entrance music played and they walked out with a serious look on their faces. (They were not chomping on gum, by the way.) Nick said they had low expectations for MJF and Jericho, but they had no idea they’d harm their father. He called them pricks. Matt said they admire their dad who taught them about faith, family, and love. He said he did all the things their fathers apparently failed to instill in them.

Matt said their dad taught them to dream big, and he built a wrestling ring in the backyard with his bare hands. He said he taught them to bust ass and do what it takes yourself to succeed. He said that “DIY spirit” created The Young Bucks and Being the Elite “and even this very company.” The audience chanted “AEW! AEW!” He said without their dad, there’d be no Young Bucks and probably not AEW. He said if not for AEW, MJF would be sitting at home unemployed waiting for a call back from “The Rosie O’Donnell Show.” He said without AEW, Jericho would probably be a curtain jerker at the Performance Center. He said they also told them to stand up for themselves. They superkicked MJF and Jericho. Jericho rolled out of the ring as other Inner Circle members attacked the Bucks. Brandon Cutler ran out to help the Bucks. Jerry Lynn was among the officials who came out to try to restore order. Doc Gallows and Karl Anderson set up a table on the stage and helped hold down Ortiz on the table. Matt took a running leap off the stage onto Santana while Nick flipped off the entrance tunnel onto Ortiz. Both crashed through tables. Excalibur said it will be incendiary on Sunday.

(Keller’s Analysis: This was fun start to finish. This was also the best presentation of the Bucks in AEW history. Matt showed who he is and explained what the Bucks stand for. Good follow-up overall on the angle of beating up the Bucks dad last week. If you’re going to do something like that, there should be follow-up and it should be the driving force behind the babyfaces going into the match. Bischoff’s question was spot on.)

-A video package aired on Jon Moxley’s promo last week talking about his rematch for the AEW Title against Kenny Omega on Sunday, and Omega proposing an Exploding Barbed Wire Death Match. They also had soundbites of Atsushi Onita commenting on the return of this match.

-Tully Blanchard came out wearing a black robe and an old NWA title belt around his waist. FTR and Tully were joined by J.J. Dillon, the manager of the Four Horsemen back in the day. [c]

(3) TULLY BLANCHARD & FTR (Dax Harwood & Cash Wheeler w/J.J. Dillon) vs. JURASSIC EXPRESS (Marko Stunt & Luchasaurus & Jungle Boy)

Tully got in some early shots against Marko in his corner as the announcers talked about big moments in Tully’s career. Excalibur talked about Barry Windham turning on Lex Luger to join the Four Horsemen in a tag match against Tully & Arn Anderson in Jacksonville, Fla. JB tagged in and went after Dax. Cash broke up a mat hold JB had on Dax. JB applied the same snare trap on Cash on the floor. Cash tapped out at ringside. Dillon slipped an object to Dax. Schiavone said he was up to his old tricks. Dax punched JB and scored a near fall. Tully teased a running dive, then stopped short, strutted, and tagged out to Dax. They cut to a split-screen break as Dax tossed JB into the ringside barricade. [c]

Back from the break, Dax tagged in Cash, who rammed JB into the corner and then slammed him. He followed with a swing splash attempt out of the corner, but JB lifted his boots. Both were down and slow to get up. Both hot-tagged out. In came Luchasaurus against Dax. Luchasaurus threw Marko onto Tully. FTR knocked Marko off the ring apron. Luchasaurus came back with a back suplex of both FTR members at once. Dax escaped a chokeslam, then sidestepped a charging Luchasaurus. Seconds later, though, Luchasaurus came back with a powerslam after JB threw Dax into his arms. It led to a near fall.

JB tagged back in. Cash gave Luchasaurus a swinging DDT at ringside. JB slidekicked Cash, then went after Tully on the ring apron. Ross called Tully “a veteran.” Cash and Dax double-teamed JB and scored a near fall. Cash bridged JB for a near fall. Then he landed a Dragon Suplex, but Marko broke it up with a dive. Tully gave Marko a slingshot suplex. Tully rolled to the ring apron, but Luchasaurus called him back into the ring. Tully re-entered. Luchasaurus landed a spinning hook kick. Luchasaurus and JB double-teamed Cash for a near fall. JB then dove out of the ring, but a masked man appeared and gave JB a face plant. Schiavone wondered who it was. The guy then hit Luchasaurus. Tully then leaped off the second rope with a spike piledriver with FTR’s help for the pin on Luchasaurus.

WINNERS: Blanchard & FTR in 11:00.

(Keller’s Analysis: Good match. Tully looked really respectable. He didn’t take any wild chances to try to impress anyone. He had a good ring presence still.)

-As Tully, Dillon, and FTR celebrated, the mystery man entered the ring. He revealed he was Shawn Spears. Excalibur said he is Tully’s other client. Excalibur said he had gone silent in recent months, but he’s back. Arn Anderson stood on the stage and gave a Four Horsemen signal to Tully and J.J. in the ring.

-Schiavone walked onto the stage. He talked about the new show, AEW Dark Elevation. He was interrupted by Dillon who said, “It doesn’t get any better than what you just saw.” Schiavone told J.J. he doesn’t get paid any extra for that. Schiavone then introduced Paul Wight. He came out wearing a clever t-shirt that said, “No More B.S.” Schiavone welcomed him to Dynamite. They showed cheering audience members. Show said, “Raise your hand if you saw this turn coming.” He said Schiavone has known him since he had long hair and a bright future. He said he’s really happy to be in AEW. He talked about doing commentary on “amazing AEW talent.” He said he’s taking his job seriously. He said he has the biggest scoop ever. He said this Sunday, at Revolution, AEW is going to hire and put under contract a Hall of Fame-worthy talent that is a huge surprise and huge asset to AEW. “It’s not who you think,” he said. “But listen, it’s not who you think.” He said to tune in and find out who they got.

(Keller’s Analysis: Let the speculation begin. Brock Lesnar? Glen Jacobs? Becky Lynch? John Cena? I’m just spitballing and wildly raising expectations.)

-A recap aired of the matches setting up the finals of the AEW Women’s Tournament.

(4) RYO MIZUNAMI vs. NYLA ROSE (w/Vickie Guerrero)

Mizunami did a series of ridiculously weak chops and played it for comedy while Rose sold them they she was being electrocuted. She did some rope-pulling pantomime. “She’s having fun,” Ross said. “I’m not sure what the hell she’s doing, but she’s having fun.” (She’s making a mockery of trying to win a match with high-stakes, is what she’s doing.) Rose caught her with a boot to the head and a senton flip for a two count. They cut to a split-screen break. [c]

Back from the break, Rose charged, but Mizunami sidestepped her and then speared her off the ring apron to the floor. She let out some yells and then went after Rose at ringside. Mizunami landed a top rope legdrop for a two count a minute later. Rose countered a DVD attempt and landed a Death Valley Driver for a believable near fall. Rose put Mizunami over the top rope and then climbed to the top rope and bashed her across the back with a forearm for a near fall. Mizunami avoided a Beast Bomb and then landed an exploder suplex. Mizunami set up a top rope move, but Rose popped up and knocked her off balance. Then she delivered a superplex. Mizunami got up and delivered a German suplex followed by a running spear mid-ring. She followed with a top rope legdrop for the win. Schiavone said, “That’s got to be an upset!” They showed Hikaru Shida reacting at ringside.

WINNER: Mizunami in 13:00 to win the tournament.

-Shida entered the ring with the trophy. She presented it to Mizunami. Shida offered a handshake. Mizunami gave Shida an elbow to the side of her head. Shida fought back and dropped Mizunami. Schiavone plugged his Sting interview up next.

(Keller’s Analysis: Solid match.) [c]

-Schiavone introduced Sting. Sting made his entrance. He said it didn’t tickle when Brian Cage powerbombed him. He said what it did was shake off all of the excess rust. He said he feels like he’s ready for a street fight. He was interrupted by Ricky Starks. He said he’s shown something he hadn’t seen before. He said he is man enough to admit he saw fire in Sting last week. He said he’s man enough to acknowledge that “Sting’s still got it.” The announcers wondered if he was trying to get out of the match. Starks said he’s still no icon, though. Starks slapped Sting. Sting beat up Starks, who bumped all over for him. Sting hit the Stinger Splash in the corner. He followed with a Scorpion Death Lock mid-ring. Starks tapped. Powerhouse Hobbs ran out and tried to drag Starks to safety. Taz’s son broke up the hold. Cage then attacked Sting and set up a powerbomb. Darby Allin ran out to his music. Cage looked kinda dumb for not looking around when Darby’s music foreshadowed his arrival. Cage’s jeans were falling down as Darby took it to him, including a shotgun dropkick. Team Taz retreated onto the stage and yelled back at Sting as Sting yelled back at them.

(Keller’s Analysis: This was good basic stuff. That was the best use of Sting on the mic. A few high-energy declarative sentences with a heel interruption. Every wrestler who gets a moment to interact with Sting is getting a rub, so this was a good segment for Starks in that respect. He took great bumps and made Sting look great.) [c]

(5) DARK ORDER’S “10” (w/”-1″) vs. MAX CASTER – Revolution Ladder Match qualifier

Dark Order walked onto the stage. “-1” joined “10” on the way to the ring. Max Caster rapped on his way to the ring. He made a reference to Lady Gaga’s dog walker. He said his name is 10, but a 5 in the looks in the department. He made a Ron Garvin fireball reference. He told “-1” he was going to get a whippin. “10” held him back. Oddly, no sign of Anthony Bowens at ringside. Scorpio Sky joined the commentators and talked about the ladder match on Sunday at Revolution. With Caster in control at ringside, they cut to a partial split-screen break. [c]

“10” made a comeback after the break. He sling-shot speared Caster for a near fall. Jack Evans popped out from under the ring and KO’d “10” with a boom box. Caster then made the cover for the win.

WINNER: Caster in 8:00.

(Keller’s Analysis: The announcers never mentioned Anthony Bowens or that Caster is usually in The Acclaimed tag team. Strange. Decent match.)

-Matt Hardy presented Evans with an envelope marked as $4,200″ on the stage after the match.

-They went to the announcers afterward. Sky talked about how good looking he is. They threw to a Miro promo.

-Miro said they have no option but to give the people what they want – destruction. He said he’s going to stop playing games. He spoke in Bulgarian intensely and then yelled “Game over!” The announcers hyped Kip Sabian & Miro vs. Orange Cassidy & Chucky T. Excalibur also hyped the Paul Wight “major signing announcement.” They hyped other PPV matches.

(6) MATT HARDY & MARC QUEN vs. ADAM PAGE & JOHN SILVER

They cut to an early break. [c]

The announcers talked about Revolution and their countdown special after Dynamite. (It’s a good thing they have a Countdown Special because this show has done nearly nothing to advance the main event title match other than Atsushi Onita’s comments on the video package.) Page rallied and sling-shot himself onto Hardy at ringside. He threw Hardy back into the ring. A minute later Page gave Quen a Death Valley Driver. When Quen dropped to the floor, Hardy rolled him back into the ring. Schiavone was perplexed. Hardy then tagged in and st up a Twist of Fate. Page countered with a back suplex. He ducked a charging Quen, then tagged in John Silver. Silver speared Hardy and pummeled him on the mat. He threw a series of kicks and then a brainbuster suplex for a near fall. Page and Silver double-teamed Quen for a minute. Page landed a Buckshot lariat on Quen for the win. Ross said that could be Hardy on Sunday.

WINNERS: Page & Silver in 12:00.

-Hardy attacked Page after the match. He hit him with the mic and said he’ll take everything he has. He said this was all a set-up. The rest of Dark Order ran out and stomped away at Hardy. Other Casino Battle Royal participants joined in the brawl. The show ended with a wild brawl with around twenty wrestlers. Pac and Fenix joined in as Hardy slipped out of the ring and returned to the back. The announcers hyped the Countdown program.

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