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KELLER’S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
DECEMBER 24, 2021
TAPED LAST WEEK IN ROSEMONT, ILL.
AIRED LIVE ON FOX
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee
If you have questions or thoughts on tonight’s Smackdown, send your questions and comments to wadekellerpodcast@pwtorch.com to be read later as part of the Wade Keller Pro Wrestling Post-show.
[HOUR ONE]
-They opened with a video package on the Roman Reigns-Paul Heyman apparent break-up last week when Reigns told Heyman he isn’t his blood before hitting him with a Superman Punch after Heyman said he’s protecting him from Brock Lesnar. They added dramatic music and slow-motion snippets. Then Brock Lesnar’s run-in afterward giving Reigns several F5s as they replayed Heyman’s words.
-A clip aired labeled “Earlier Today.” It showed Heyman sitting down opposite of Kayla Braxton to ask him about what happened last week. Heyman said he told the truth to Reigns “and it was a truth he didn’t want to hear publicly.” He said because he told the truth, he got fired and smashed in the face and embarrassed and humiliated in front of his peers and the entire world publicly. Kayla asked if he has regrets. Heyman said no, because his job was to tell Reigns the truth. He said he tried to explain this to Reigns, but all of his bags and notes and belongings were tossed out of his locker room into the hallway “like some frickin’ rookie.” He said his role was to protect the championship, “and make no mistake about it, Roman Reigns is the greatest Universal Champion of all time, but he needs to be protected from Brock Lesnar.”
Braxton asked what’s next for him. Heyman took a sip of water and then shrugged. He said he doesn’t know. “I go to NXT, cherry-pick a top talent, start all over again? Not at this stage.” He said he put every bit of his heart and soul and spirit into serving as the special counsel to Reigns because he believes in him. “Without that, maybe it’s time for me to acknowledge that my career is most likely over.”
(Keller’s Analysis: That was a brave and novel way to open a pro wrestling show on national TV. No live crowd cheering first. No wrestler talking or wrestlers wrestling. Just a sitdown interview segment with high tension and slow, deliberate, intense questions and answers. Heyman was compelling here. Something felt different about him. There was a resolve to his words and his unflinching loyalty to Reigns despite being told he’s less-than because he’s not his blood and getting Superman Punched just for telling him what he believed was a truth he needed to hear.)
-Michael Cole introduced the show alongside Pat McAfee as they panned the crowd. They used augmented reality graphics to create a festive atmosphere. The announce desk had real life decorations, too. Cole said they need to have a “Miracle on 34th Street Fight” with the Usos & Madcap Moss vs. Xavier Woods & Kofi Kingston & Drew McIntyre. He also hyped the 12-man gauntlet match to earn an IC Title match.
-Charlotte made her ring entrance, As Toni Storm made her entrance, they replayed Storm pinning Charlotte in a tag match last week. [c]
(1) CHARLOTTE FLAIR vs. TONI STORM – Smackdown Women’s Title match
The phony ambient crowd noise was worse than usual here on this pre-taped show. It sounds like a white noise machine meant to help you fall asleep. Storm got in some early offense including a basement dropkick for a one count. Charlotte rolled to the floor to catch her breath and regroup. Charlotte countered a Storm headbutt with a sidekick to the head, knocking her to the floor. They cut to a break at 3:00. [c]
Charlotte was in control after the break. Cole thanked viewers for spending part of their holiday weekend with them. Charlotte trash-talked Storm. Eventually Charlotte moonsaulted toward Storm, but Storm moved, and Charlotte did another standing moonsault (which has almost no sense of impact) for a near fall. (That seems to be the go-to sequence now – missing the first and doing a quick follow-up, but it doesn’t look high-impact at all.) Charlotte went for a figure-four a minute later. She yelled at Storm and slapped her, then began to bridge into a Figure-Eight, but Storm blocked it and rolled Charlotte over. Storm reached the bottom rope to force a break.
Storm went after Charlotte aggressively at ringside. Back in the ring, Charlotte countered and rolled up Storm and held the ropes and Storm’s tights. The ref saw it. Storm bridged and got a two count. Storm scored another two count with a backslide. Charlotte countered Storm’s small package and scored a leverage three count.
WINNER: Charlotte in 14:00 to retain the Smackdown Title.
(Keller’s Analysis: Good match.)
-A video package aired on last week’s sketch with Drew McIntyre going after Madcap Moss and Happy Corbin. Cole’s narration sounded like he was fighting a cold.
-Drew walked up to Xavier and Kofi backstage. Drew said he’s always ready for battle. Xavier said they are ready to usher in a new year when they beat the Usos at Day 1 to become the Smackdown Tag Team Champs. He said first they get to obliterate Madcap Moss. Drew said there’s a chance he’ll beat Madcap so badly tonight, he won’t make Day 1. They all laughed. Xavier said it’ll be a season’s beatings. Drew joined in the ridiculous laughter.
(Keller’s Analysis: So when Madcap and Happy laugh ridiculously at their bad jokes, they’re annoying heels, but when New Day do it and Drew joins in, it’s supposed to be endearing and adorable?)
-Rick Boogs stood on the stage with his electric guitar and introduced Shinsuke Nakamura. [c]
-Xia Li said she’s known women like Natalya all her life. She said she won’t fear her, she’ll fight her. “Because I am The Protector.”
(2) 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS GAUNTLET MATCH – Winner Earns An Intercontinental Title match
McAfee was standing on the announce desk rocking out with Nakamura and Boogs. They opened with Angel Garza vs. Mansoor. Nakamura and Boogs observing from ringside in a cartoonishly animated manner throughout. Garza absorbed an enzuigiri and kicked Mansoor out of mid-air. He followed with a Wing Clipper for the three count.
-GARZA pinned MANSOOR
Erik from the Viking Raiders came out next. Garza leaped off the top rope toward Erik at ringside, but Erik caught him mid-air and slammed him on the mat. [c]
A minute after the break, Garza avoided a charging Erik in the corner, then landed a Wing Clipper for a three count.
-GARZA pinned ERIK
Shanky came out next. Shanky climbed over the top rope and brushed off Garza’s offense easily. He finished Garza with a slam off his shoulders.
-SHANKY pinned GARZA
Next out was Ivar. He took Shanky down with a clothesline in the corner. Then he charged and splashed him in the corner. Next he leaped off the top rope onto Shanky with a splash for the three count.
-IVAR pinned SHANKY
Sheamus came out next. Sheamus went after Ivar aggressively, but Ivar came back with an uppercut that sent him flying over the top rope. They cut to a break. [c]
Cole noted that Ridge Holland was at ringside watching Sheamus. They fought back and forth. Ivar sat hard on Sheamus’s sternum, leading to a near fall. Sheamus came back and lifted Ivar onto his shoulders, but Ivar slipped free. Ivar ducked a Sheamus clothesline and landed a Brogue Kick for a three count.
-SHEAMUS pinned IVAR
Next out was Drew Gulak. As soon as he entered the ring, Sheamus gave him a Brogue Kick for the quick three count.
-SHEAMUS pinned GULAK
Cesaro came out next. Cole said, “I can’t wait to see this. Sheamus, you had this coming!” Cesaro’s ribs were still taped, but he landed an early top rope crossbody block for a near fall. Several minutes later, Cesaro gave Sheamus the Cesaro Swing, but he didn’t have the strength with his injured ribs to really get it going more than a couple rotations. Holland DISTRACTED Cesaro on the ring apron, leading to a Brogue Kick and a pin.
[HOUR TWO]
-SHEAMUS pinned CESARO
Out next was Ricochet. Richochet dove at Sheamus and both tumbled over the top rope. Ricochet leaped onto Sheamus at ringside. As Ricochet celebrated, they cut to a break. [c]
After several minutes of back and forth action, McAfee said, “This action is… filthy!” Ricochet landed a top rope flying clothesline and a standing shooting star press for a near fall. They cut to Nakamura and Boogs reacting. Holland DISTRACTED Ricochet on the top rope, giving Sheamus an opening to recover and land a flying knee to Ricochet. Cesaro then came out to ringside and shoved Holland into a cameraman. Ricochet dropkicked a DISTRACTED Sheamus from behind and then rolled him up for the win.
-RICOCHET pinned SHEAMUS
Humberto Carrillo skipped to the ring. Sheamus gave Ricochet a Brogue Kick despite having been eliminated. Humberto was going to go right after Ricochet, but the ref checked on him. Ricochet said he was okay. Humberto landed a missile dropkick and went for a top rope moonsault, but Ricochet lifted his boot. He then caught Humberto with a Recoil for the three count.
-RICOCHET pinned CARRILLO
Out next was Jinder Mahal. Ricochet countered a Khalas into a roll-up for a quick three count.
-RICOCHET pinned MAHAL
(Keller’s Analysis: I know they’re trying to build this sense of momentum for Ricochet at this point going into battling Sami Zayn, and I’m not advocating for another distraction finish or a long Jinder Mahal match, but that super-quick win by Ricochet felt unrealistic given all he’d been through and how fresh Mahal was. Oh well.)
Sami Zayn made his way to the ring. [c]
Sami was in control after the break. Ricochet took Sami down hard with a standing hurancanrana for a near fall. Sami landed a Blue Thunder Bomb a minute later for a near fall. Ricochet elbowed his way out of Sami’s grip, but Sami gave him an exploder suplex into the corner. He set up the Helluva Kick, but Sami caught him charging with a superkick. Ricochet delivered a lift-and-drop upkick for a near fall. When Ricochet went for his shooting star press off the top rope, Sami lifted his knees. Sami then hit an exploder suplex and a Helluva Kick for the win.
-SAMI pinned RICOCHET
WINNER: Sami in 43:00 to earn a future Intercontinental Title match.
-Cole said they’d take a special look back at Heyman’s decorated career next. [c]
-A video package aired on Heyman, which Cole framed as a look back at Heyman’s controversial career. They showed vintage clips of him from his very early days with a full head of hair. It said he first rose to prominence as the leader of the Dangerous Alliance in WCW. (Arguably, he first rose to prominence in Memphis Wrestling feuding with Jerry Lawler and in the AWA, which was broadcast on ESPN, when he managed The Original Midnight Express.) It showed him managing Rick Rude and Steve Austin. No mention of Arn Anderson and Larry Zbyszko. Then the narrator said it was in ECW when his mad genius really shined. It gave Heyman credit for sparking the revolution that led to the Attitude Era. Then it showed ECW invading WWE as part of the WCW-ECW Alliance, but he came out on the losing end. “It was the last we’d see of him until Brock Lesnar debuted in WWE.”
It marched through Lesnar’s big WrestleMania wins including ending Undertaker’s Streak. It said that came to an end when Drew McIntyre beat Lesnar at WrestleMania 2020. (They didn’t actually show footage of Drew vs. Lesnar in the Performance Center.) “Paul Heyman was rescued from obscurity and brought to the Island of Relevancy alongside Roman Reigns,” the narrator said. It showed Lesnar’s return at Summerslam earlier this year, and then Reigns pressing whether he knew about it.
-Cole hyped Reigns vs. Lesnar at Day 1.
-They showed Christmas cookies at ringside and a Christmas tree. Cole plugged the “Miracle on 34th Street Fight.” Out came Happy Corbin and Madcap Moss first. The Usos came out next. [c]
(3) THE USOS & MADCAP MOSS (w/Happy Corbin) vs. XAVIER WOODS & KOFI KINGSTON & DREW MCINTYRE – Miracle on 34th Street Fight
After New Day and Drew made separate ring entrances, they showed cookies and egg nog at ringside. The bell rang 43 minutes into the second hour. At 2:00 Drew tagged in against Madcap. Corbin whacked Drew with a candy-cane taped kendo stick. The Usos and New Day brawled on the stage near the gift boxes and trees as they cut to a break. [c]
Back from the break, The Usos crushed the New Day between two Christmas trees. Then they rammed Xavier with two Christmas trees. Moss, meanwhile, dominated Drew in the ring. The New Day fought back with cookies. Xavier pulled a chair out from a big box at ringside. He landed a Van Daminator-style reverse sidekick to Jimmy. Jey superkicked Xavier and then took a sip of egg nog, but spit it out. Kingston rallied against Jimmy in the ring. Kofi leaped off the top rope and hit both Usos with trays of cookies. Moss then attacked Drew in the ring. Drew fired back with a clothesline and showed intensity and fire. He gave Moss two overhead tosses and then a neckbreaker followed by a kip up. He played to the crowd before signalling for his Claymore Kick. He counted down, but Corbin grabbed his leg. Drew went after Corbin at ringside. Corbin ran, but he got blocked by Kofi with a cane. Corbin turned to Drew and said he’d fight him. Kofi poured the egg nog over Corbin. Drew picked up two more pitchers and poured them over Corbin and Moss. Back in the ring, Drew hit the Claymore for the win. New Day and Drew threw t-shirts to the fans. Xavier threw one last gift box at Moss from behind, knocking him down. Cole plugged a New Year’s Special on FS1 next week as the show ended.
WINNERS: McIntyre & New Day in 13:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: I can see people who never watch WWE “getting a kick out of” the zaniness in this brawl while visiting family on Christmas Eve. Drew looked like a star out there and didn’t seem too compromised by the zaniness surrounding him.)
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