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KELLER’S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
MARCH 25, 2022
BROOKLYN, NY AT THE BARCLAYS CENTER
AIRED ON FOX
WWE Smackdown Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee
-A three minute video package opened Smackdown, recapping last week’s forklift angle with Brock Lesnar and the Bloodline.
-Michael Cole introduced the show and hyped that Lesnar and Roman Reigns would both be on Smackdown in person tonight.
-Backstage, Kayla Braxton asked Brock Lesnar if he has thought about the consequences of his actions last week. Lesnar said he has. He said he’s paid some fines and also purchased some new vehicles. He said one of the SUVs is blood red. He said upper management had a talk with him telling him not to have contact with Roman Reigns unless he’s provoked. He said tonight he’s going to “hang out in Roman’s locker room and wait for a good provoking.” The camera followed Lesnar into Reigns’s locker room. He said, “It’s not bad. Not as nice as mine, but not bad.” He ate a snack and sat on a couch. He kicked his feet up onto a table but broke it with his cowboy boots. Glasses tipped over, too.
-Cole hyped that Ronda Rousey is on a rampage tonight. Pat McAfee plugged the Fatal Four-way women’s match.
-Rick Boogs played electric guitar on the stage and the crowd sang along with him. Then Shinsuke Nakamura made his entrance.
-A sponsored video package aired on the Usos attacking Boogs last week after he beat Jey Uso after tricking them with a wrapped leg that wasn’t actually injured.
-The Usos made their ring entrance next and immediately both teams began brawling. Boogs pressed Jey above his head and threw him into Jimmy. Cole said they’re try to restore order during a break. [c]
(1) SHINSUKE NAKAMURA (w/Rick Boogs) vs. JIMMY USO (w/Jey Uso)
McAfee said, “We’re watching greatness versus greatness.” After a couple minutes of action, Jimmy knocked Nakamura off the ring apron with a high kick. When he went for a dive through the ropes, Nakamura kicked him out of mid-air. As Nakamura yelled in celebration, they cut to a break. [c]
Back live, Nakamura dropkicked Uso. They cut to a replay of Lesnar making himself comfortable in Reigns’s locker room. McAfee wondered what will happen when Reigns walks in and sees Lesnar there. Meanwhile, Nakamura rallied against Uso. Nakamura signaled for a Kinshasa, but Jey attacked Boogs at ringside, distracting Nakamura. Nakamura turned around and ate a superkick from Jimmy for a convincing near fall. Jey grabbed Boogs’s guitar, but Boogs yanked it away from him and then threw him head-first into the ringpost. Nakamura then caught a DISTRACTED Jimmy with a spinning wheel kick and a Kinshasa for the win.
WINNER: Nakamura in 9:00.
-They went to Cole and McAfee at ringside. Cole said The KO Show with “Stone Cold” Steve Austin will take place on “WrestleMania Saturday.” He threw to a video package on Kevin Owens imitating Austin on Raw earlier in the week.
-They went live to Lesnar in Reigns’s locker room drinking their champaign. He took a swig, then spit it out and threw the bottle. [c]
-Cole said the late Shad Gaspar is receiving the 2022 Warrior Award this year. Cole said the award is for people who carried themselves with “the courage and compassion that embodied the Ultimate Warrior.” (Uhh…)
-Kayla Braxton interviewed Drew McIntyre about facing Happy Corbin. Drew said Corbin and Madcap Moss tried to end his career. He said he has been enjoying making his life a living hell since he returned. He said it makes him “happy.” He said he could take him out tonight, but he wants to do it at WrestleMania on “the grandest stage of them all” in front of the most eyeballs possible. He said he wants to take that stupid smug pathetic grin off of Corbin’s face permanently.
-McAfee said they’d all love to see that. They threw to a video package recapping the journey of Happy Corbin from homeless and broke to rich and happy.
-Backstage, Corbin talked to Boogs about their plans to embarrass McIntyre at WrestleMania Saturday. He said he’d get an Academy Award for happiest man staring in a leading role as he celebrates over his unconscious body. Moss said the name for his movie could be “Bald Fellows.” Corbin shot Moss a dirty look and said, “No.”
(Keller’s Analysis: I’m still not sure what they’re up to with Corbin not finding Moss’s jokes funny anymore.)
-Sheamus, Ridge Holland, and Butch made their ring entrance. [c]
-After a photo was shown of Barclays Center, Cole said they are awaiting the arrival of Roman Reigns.
-They replayed Holland beating Kofi Kingston last week after a distraction by Butch.
(2) SHEAMUS (w/Ridge Holland, Butch) vs. XAVIER WOODS (w/Kofi Kingston)
Kingston made his ring entrance. Kofi announced that Xavier Woods was back and would wrestle tonight. Cole said Sheamus & Co. weren’t expecting this. Xavier was still wearing his king get-up (which is unfortunate). Cole said Sheamus and Butch have to think twice now before getting involved. Holland speared Xavier out of mid-air early. Holland yelled down at Kingston at ringside. Xavier then surprised a DISTRACTED Holland with a sudden small package for the quick win.
WINNER: Xavier in under 1:00.
-They cut to Reigns and Paul Heyman in their vehicle. Heyman introduced Reigns. Reigns said he knows the fans are dying to acknowledge him. He talked about a great steak house visit earlier with great sides. “At least five grand worth of sides,” Reigns said. “It was unbelievable.” He said they stopped at MSG to revisit the site of bloodying Lesnar. He told Lesnar he better get his ass out of his Smackdown locker room or else he’s going to bust him up and make him bleed again.
(Keller’s Analysis: Glad to see Reigns and Heyman were aware of what Lesnar was doing and not oblivious to it.)
-Ronda Rousey made her ring entrance. [c]
-A video recap aired of Charlotte beating up Rousey the last two weeks.
-Rousey stood mid-ring as her music faded. She said she’s not going to take the title from Charlotte; instead she’s going to tap her out and force her to hand her the title. She told Charlotte to leave her high heels and excuses backstage and “get your Barbie ass out here.” Charlotte appeared on the big screen. She said it was a great speech. She asked if she actually thought she’d be in Brooklyn tonight. She called it a low-rent city. She said Rousey is the contender, while she is the Smackdown Women’s Champion. Rousey leaned on the top rope and said she knows exactly who she is. She said when she was 14 years old, she broke her first arm and liked it. She said she was so proud of herself, she started keeping count until she eventually lost count. Charlotte mocked her and said, “Ohhh, I’m shaking in my boots.” Charlotte said the only way she’d get any satisfaction is throwing Rousey off the Brooklyn Bridge at this point given what she’s already done to hurt her. Charlotte said she’ll see her at WrestleMania. Rousey said if Charlotte beats her at WrestleMania, it’ll be the biggest win of her career. Rousey said if she beats Charlotte at Charlotte’s own game, she’ll just be another victim in a list so long she’s lost count. Charlotte blinked a few times and held her composure, seeming confident. Rousey’s music played and she left.
-They cut Braxton joining Lesnar in Reigns’s Smackdown locker room. He offered her grapes. She asked if he was thinking of leaving. He said he was having so much fun, so why would he leave. Lesnar told her to go find Reigns because he’s running out of things to smash. He threw a lamp and broke it, then smiled.
-Ricochet made his ring entrance. Then Los Lotharios made their ring entrance. They kissed a woman at ringside. Cole said if Angel wins, he earns a future title shot. [c]
(3) RICOCHET vs. ANGEL GARZA (w/Humberto Carrillo)
A few minutes in, Garza distracted Ricochet when he climbed to the top rope. Angel then rolled him up from behind and yanked on his trunks and got a three count.
WINNER: Angel in 2:00.
-Afterward, Ricochet said he won’t let that stand. He challenged Humberto to bring himself to the ring to face him and get the beating his cousin was about to get. Humberto accepted.
(4) RICOCHET vs. HUMBERTO CARRILLO
Cole wondered what happens if Humberto were to win, since Angel just earned a future title shot already. Ricochet landed a flying flip dive over the top rope onto Humbert at ringside. [c]
Eventually Ricochet climbed back to the top rope, but Angel pulled Humberto to safety. Ricochet turned and leaped onto Angel at ringside. Humbert charged at Ricochet, but Ricochet landed a tornado DDT. McAfee said Ricochet is “mesmerizing.” Ricochet threw Humberto back into the ring, but then Angel grabbed his boot and Ricochet was counted out.
WINNER: Humberto via countout in 7:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: So this seems to set up Ricochet vs. Angel vs. Humberto at WrestleMania with the IC Title at stake.) [c]
-Megan Morant interviewed Sami Zayn backstage. Sami said Johnny Knoxville’s pranks might have worked on his jackass buddies, but not him. He said he has spent time dreaming up ways to make him suffer. He said he will make Johnny Knoxville experience punishment in a way that has never ever ever been seen in WWE before.
-Cole talked about McAfee’s WrestleMania in-ring debut. (They continue to ignore his NXT in-ring experience.) Austin Theory showed up and slapped McAfee, then ran away. McAfee chased Theory to the back. Theory ran into Mr. McMahon’s office and locked the door. McAfee pounded on the door and yelled, “Rat Bastard!”
-Sasha Banks and Naomi made their ring entrance. [c]
-They went to Cole and McAfee talk about Triple H announcing his retirement from in-ring competition. They showed headlines about Triple H’s announcement that he almost died and had a heart defibrillator implanted as a result.
(5) RHEA RIPLEY (w/Liv Morgan) vs. SASHA BANKS (w/Naomi) vs. ZELINA VEGA (w/Carmella) vs. SHAYNA BASZLER (w/Natalya)
They cut to a break a few minutes in when everyone at ringside entered the ring and began fighting. [c]
Sasha eventually made Vega tap with a Bank Statement.
WINNER: Banks in 9:00.
-An SUV arrived to Smackdown backstage. Heyman stepped out and then opened the door for Reigns. Heyman told Reigns he isn’t feeling well. Reigns said they’ll be fine, but not Brock. [c]
-Cole and McAfee hyped that Undertaker will drive the pace car at a NASCAR race on Fox on Sunday. They announced that Smackdown will feature the Andre the Giant Battle Royal. Also, a Triple Threat for the IC Title with Ricochet vs. Angel vs. Humberto takes place. Then they hyped the WrestleMania Saturday and Sunday line-ups.
-Reigns made his ring entrance with Heyman. He didn’t look the least bit sacred. McAfee called him the Alpha Male of their species. After some of their usual mic work razzing the crowd, Reigns said if Lesnar is still in his locker room, he’s going to go back there and put his head through the wall. The big screen panned the locker room and there was no Lesnar. A lot of stuff was destroyed. Heyman looked at Reigns with grave concern. Reigns got a stern look on his face. Fans chanted, “Suplex City!”
Reigns called the fans idiots and said this isn’t Suplex City, it’s the Island of Relevancy. He asked where Lesnar is now. Lesnar showed up on the big screen and began bashing in the windows of a Suburban with a pick axe. Reigns said he’s got four Suburbans “and that’s small money.” He told Heyman he is scared of him. He called Lesnar a dummy and said there won’t be any weapons allowed at WrestleMania. Lesnar bashed the hood with the axe, then made his way to the ring through the crowd. Reigns and Heyman were staring at the stage and didn’t see Lesnar come out. Then Lesnar stood on the ringside Smackdown announce table. They turned and noticed. Lesnar grabbed a chair as around eight or ten security guys stood in his way. Lesnar leaped off the table and began beating them down with chairshots. The Usos came out to ringside, then turned and left with Reigns and Heyman.
As Lesnar stood on the table at ringside with a chair and his belt, Reigns appeared on the big screen and said at WrestleMania, he will acknowledge him at the Undisputed WWE Universal Champion. Reigns’s music played as a graphic showed Lesnar vs. Reigns at WrestleMania in a ‘Winner Take All Championship Unification” match.