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The following report originally published 20 years ago this week here at PWTorch.com.
WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW REPORT
APRIL 25, 2005
TAPED EARLIER TODAY IN BIRMINGHAM, ENGLAND
REPORT BY WADE KELLER, EDITOR
-Coach and Jerry Lawler introduced the show as they panned the crowd in Birmingham, England. Coach boasted about taking over for Jim Ross again this week due to Ross’s beating at the hands of Triple H last week.
-Batista walked out. He milked the crowd cheers. He’s been getting mega pops on the European tour the past week. He seemed more human and relaxed than at any other time he’s been on TV. He said he was there to honor a man who has done so much for the industry over the years. He said this man did what took him five years – he beat Triple H on his first try. He then introduced J.R. who walked out with a first-class Hollywood make-up job to make him look beat up and bruised. Coach said he wasn’t going to put up with this. Ross looked very sad. Batista tried to cheer him up. Ross was great in looking like a kid whose sand castle was just destroyed by a bully.
They replayed Jim Ross pinning Hunter last week. Triple H interrupted. Batista said it’s no surprise he rained on his parade. He told Hunter that since Ross beat him last week, that makes J.R. the no. 1 contender. Ross began shaking his head “no, no.” Batista suggested that means at Backlash Ross, not Hunter, should get the title shot. “I don’t think you ever deserve the titles hot,” said Batista. The crowd chanted “You suck.” Hunter shouted, “Let me remind you who I am.” Batista said, “No, no, no. Let me remind you.”
Batista had the video of Ross pinning Hunter replayed. Batista then raised Ross’s arm. The crowd cheered. Batista laughed and had the video played again. Hunter began undressing and walking to the ring. Coach said we wouldn’t have to wait until Sunday at Backlash. Batista called Hunter to the ring. Hunter then backed down and retreated up the rampway to the stage. Hunter then said, “Batista, at Backlash, your ass is mine.” Batista said, “I don’t think so. At Backlash, this (the belt) is mine.” Batista still wasn’t put in a position to say a lot, but this was easily his best interview performance to date. He needed a promo where he seemed relaxed and not uptight or nervous. This was it. It was the first time he seemed to enjoy humiliating Hunter rather than feeling like he was his mentor and he owed him something.
-Coach and Ross plugged that Shawn Michaels and Hulk Hogan would be interviewed later.
[Commercial Break]
-They showed a shot outside of the arena and the graphic said they were “Live.” I wonder what the rules are on that since the show isn’t actually live. Jim Ross rejoined Lawler in the broadcast position. Ross thanked Lawler for he “tried to do to help him last week.” They replayed Viscera forcing a kiss on a semi-reluctant Trish last week. Ross then announced that Kane (w/Lita) vs. Viscera (w/Trish).
-They went to Trish’s date with Viscera at the Brasshouse restaurant. She was clearly nervous about it and asked the host if he had happened to see “a 500 black man with a white mohawk and all in black with crazy eyes.” Viscera was a touch late. He said he had to stop at the drug store. Trish said if he was sick, they could cancel the date. Viscera said he wasn’t sick, he went to the drug store for “these” – and then unravelled two dozen condoms. That got a crowd pop. Trish wasn’t thrilled. Viscera asked the host for a very romantic table. Trish has been just great in making these segments adorable rather than offensive or cheesy.
1 — CHRIS JERICHO vs. SYLVAIN GRENIER (w/Robert Conway)
Ross made fun of Jericho’s lyrics with that not-so-well disguised contempt for how bad the segment was last week. Grenier dominated offense for about a minute, then settled into a chinlock. Jericho took over and won cleanly with a Lionsault and a Walls of Jericho. When Conway joined Grenier in attacking Jericho after the match, Shelton Benjamin ran out and made the save. Lawler wondered why Shelton helped his PPV opponent. Jericho wondered the same thing. The crowd chanted “Y2J, Y2J.” Jericho shoved Shelton, which drew some boos. Shelton then gave Jericho a T-Bone. That also drew boos. He shouted at Jericho, “Who’s your bitch now?”
WINNER: Jericho at 3:03.
STAR RATING: 1/4* — Not much to it. I don’t get why in a three minute fast-paced TV match, Grenier thought it would be a good idea to settle into a 20 second chinlock mid-match.
[Commercial Break]
-Viscera sat with his arm around Trish. He said food gets him in the mood. She said that must be the horniest guy on the planet. Viscera ordered one of everything off the menu.
-Ric Flair gave Christian and Tyson Tomko a pep talk backstage about how they should dismantle Batista later. Christian said tonight is his night and he wanted Hunter to stay out of his business. He said it’s not his fault Hunter can’t give Batista a Pedigree or beat Jim Ross. Christian said perhaps Hunter should be drafted to Smackdown so he can try to beat Michael Cole. Flair got really upset. Christian told Tomko to escort Flair out of his dressing room. Christian was great in standing up to Flair.
[Commercial Break]
-Christian walked to the ring with Tomko to promote his match against Batista later. He said he’ll talk slowly for the British fans. “Nice teeth, by the way,” he added. He said he plans to beat Batista using his Unprettier finisher. And then next month at the draft, if he’s sent to Smackdown, he’ll beat “that Ali G rip-off John Cena.” He concluded, “One way or another, it will be Captain Charisma carrying the torch because that’s how I rule.” Kane then interrupted. Christian bailed out into the crowd. Kane chokeslammed Tomko.
-Maria interviewed Lita said this Sunday she will make sure that Kane destroys Viscera and Trish “finally gets what she deserves.” Christian was hilarious looking on from the stands as Tomko got attacked. Maria was as usual terrible in that it seemed she was nervously repeating lines she tried to memorize at the last second even though it was a simple two sentence question. Post-production did a good job disguising how intensely Lita was booed by the fans in the arena. They actually took Lita off of the big screen in the arena as soon as the promo because the outburst of boos were so strong.
[Commercial Break]
-Christian asked security to let him know if Kane shows up anywhere. He went to Hunter and Flair’s locker room and returned his jacket. He got in kiss-up mode with Flair, telling him they need to discuss strategy. Flair told him to wait outside for a second. Christian was nervous standing there alone. Five seconds later Hunter stepped out and said, “Michael Cole, huh?” Christian said it was a joke. Hunter said he was willing to talk business. Hunter let him into the locker room, but he made him squeeze past him.
-Chris “The Masterpiece” Masters said since nobody in the States could escape his Master Lock (actually, only one person tried and failed), maybe a Brit could break it. He told some fans their necks were too skinny and he’d break their necks. What are the fans thinking who aren’t plants when they volunteer to be in the Master Lock? Do they think because his character stinks and he can’t wrestle that they’d be able to break out of that hold if they let him apply it? Masters picked a “volunteer” from the crowd. He did the same thing to him that he did to the “fan” last week on Raw. Ross talked about Masters has everything it takes to be a superstar in WWE for years to come. He tripped over his words a bit, trying to figure out a way to compliment Masters without ruining his credibility.
[Commercial Break]
-Coach interviewed Michaels backstage. He said there’s a pool going predicting how long it will take for them to self-destruct. Coach said his prediction was three minutes. Michaels said the reason he and Hogan have big egos is they’ve done everything there is to do. He shoved Coach aside and introduced Hogan. Hogan got a huge pop. Gene Okerlund stepped in to do the interview. Michaels reiterated why he chose Hogan as his partner. Either Hogan has shrunk or Michaels was wearing his high-heel cowboy boots because they looked about the same size. Hogan went in his “whatcha gonna do” spiel and then ripped off his t-shirt. Michaels imitated Hogan, but he couldn’t rip his t-shirt – his successful attempt at a lite comedy moment at the end of the promo.
-Christy Hemme led Stacy, Maria, and Rochelle to the ring. Christy said they were there for a party. She said before the party began, she wanted to invite a couple of friends to the ring. She introduced the ladies of the Daily Star. Out walked four of the big breasted female mascots for the UK newspaper. Ross said, “I saw you talking to them earlier.”
Then the Raw Divas introduced Williams Regal and Tajiri and plugged Regal’s new autobiography. Lawler put over the book because of the crazy stories from the road it contained. He told a few abbreviated anecdotes from Regal’s travels including Regal waking up in jail cells and encountering juggling midgets. Regal got a huge sustained ovation from his hometown crowd. He said he was glad to be able to write the book because a few years ago he didn’t think he’d still be around (referring to his years addicted to pain pills). Regal was then swarmed by the women as dance club music played. Then the music of Muhammad Hassan and Khosrow Daivari interrupted the dance party. Ross said, “They pick the most inopportune times to interject themselves.”
Hassan called it a “pathetic site” to see two grown men and an “eight-pack of international bimbos dancing around like mindless idiots.” He said he’s not surprised because everyone knows how racist and hypocritical the English are. He said ripped on them for following everything Hogan and Michaels tell them. He said the best way to prove that isn’t going to happen is by beating the World Tag Team Champions tonight. Regal said, “If you’re looking for a fight, sunshine, there’s no better place than here, so get your bloody asses down here.” Ross hyped the match would be next.
[Commercial Break]
2 — WILLIAM REGAL & TAJIRI vs. MUHAMMAD HASSAN & KHOSROW DAIVARI
The match was joined in progress. Regal made a comeback and got in a flurry of offense. Tajiri tagged in briefly, then tagged Regal back in. Regal ended up taking a beating for a minute. Tajiri then got a hot tag. Hassan surprised Tajiri with his finisher after a knee from behind by Daivari as he bounced into the ropes. Daivari then hit a top rope flying legdrop and scored the pin. The crowd was deflated. Regal charged into the ring to get some revenge. Daivari and Hassan double-teamed Regal. Hassan put Regal into the camel clutch as Daivari kicked him in the face. Ross yelled, “Come on! This match is over!” Regal and Tajiri must not be tight with Hogan and Michaels. No save. Hassan and Daivari just gave up. Ross said they’d have a chance to score the biggest tag team upset ever by defeating Hogan and Michaels at Backlash.
WINNERS: Daivari & Hassan in est. 6:00.
STAR RATING: *
[Commercial Break]
-Viscera asked Trish to dance. She didn’t want to. He began spinning around and dancing, knocking over the waiter. He said, “Check please.”
ARTICLE CONTINUED BELOW…
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3 — EDGE vs. VAL VENIS
A very loud “You screwed Matt” chant rang out in the opening seconds. Edge dominated aggressively for the opening minute before settling into a chinlock. Val made a comeback, but it was cut short when Edge lifted his knees as Val went for the Money Shot. Edge won clean with a Spear. No surprise. The crowd then loudly chanted “We Want Matt.” Edge mouthed something like, “Well, you aren’t getting him.” Ross, in a possible Freudian slip, said, “Wait a minute here, Matt… that Impaler, the souped up version of the DDT.” Edge beat on Venis after the match. Chris Benoit made the save and gave Edge three unreleased German suplexes.
WINNER: Edge at 3:20.
STAR RATING: 1/2* — Not much to it, but fine.
-Triple H, Christian, and Flair were chatting backstage. Coach walked in. Hunter handed Coach a referee shirt and told him tonight he is the special referee. Hunter said Ric Flair was the guest time keeper, too. He said he’d be acting as Christian’s “Problem Solver” at ringside. Coach said he’d have to get permission from the boss. Hunter closed his cell phone before he could dial and told Coach he doesn’t have a lot of patience for announcers right now. He said the only permission he needs is his. Ross said, “That isn’t fair. None of this is fair.” Was Coach wanting to get permission supposed to be adequate addressing of the obvious question of how Hunter gets the authority to decide who referees, time keeps, or stands at ringside? Does every wrestler get to choose who referees matches he has an interest in, whether or not he’s actually in the match? Gosh, everyone should choose their dad or brother to be referees. But which of the two wrestlers in a match gets to choose the ref? All Hunter had to do is say he cleared it with Eric Bischoff. How hard would that have been? But no, that would show Hunter in a subservient position on TV having to actually ask someone for something, and we can’t have that.
[Commercial Break]
-Viscera and Trish finished their date. Viscera gargled at the table and then swallowed! Trish’s look was priceless. Viscera asked if she was ready. She asked him to lean in. He did. She slapped him and told him that she has a seven foot monster coming after him and she needs him to stop Kane. “After Backlash, you can do whatever, but until you do the deed, we don’t.” Viscera took a deep breath, loosened his tie, and said he understood. He said when he gets done with Kane at Backlash, he’ll never bother her again. “You want to pay me back afterward, that’s fine. But I did take you to dinner tonight, so I’ll take an advance,” he said. Trish then offered to give Viscera a dance. She then opened her shirt for him. Viscera’s eyes glazed over even more than usual and he said, “Kane is a dead man.” Both Viscera and Trish were great in their roles.
-Christian made his ring entrance.
[Commercial Break]
4 — BATISTA vs. CHRISTIAN (w/Triple H)
Ross called Hunter a “soulless son of a bitch.” Ross expressed outrage at Flair being guest time keeper. “And he’s probably not wearing a watch.” Calling the bell ringer a time keeper when TV matches never have announced time limits and match lengths are never announced seems a bit antiquated.
Ross said he wanted to clarify that Batista beat Triple H last week. Lawler said, “No, you won, J.R.!” Hunter distracted Batista early and Christian dove at Batista from the top rope. Batista turned and caught him and then began beating him into the mat. Christian used an eye poke to gain a brief advantage. After a powerslam by Batista he went for a cover, but special ref coach had to tie his shoe. As Batista yelled at Coach, Hunter gave Batista a low blow from behind. It’s ridiculous that the announcers aren’t allowed to bring up the absurdity of Hunter deciding who the referee for a match is. Did he take over as G.M. all of a sudden?
[Commercial Break]
During the break, Hunter whipped Batista into the ringside stairs. Christian applied a chinlock at 7:30. Batista stood and backed Christian into the turnbuckles. Hunter tripped Batista in the corner, so Christian remain on offense, standing on Batista’s throat. At 10:00 Batista took over and powerslammed Christian. Then he drove his shoulder into his gut several times. Batista then gave Christian the Electric Chair. Coach stopped after two slaps of the mat because “his hand hurt.” Batista then had to fend off attacks from Flair, Hunter, and Christian. He cleared the ring of Flair and Hunter and then gave Christian the Batista Bomb. He slapped Coach’s hand to the mat three times to signal a win for himself. Hunter attacked Batista after the match and executed a Pedigree. He then ripped off his shirt and celebrated the execution of his finisher on Batista. Batista struggled to get up as Hunter celebrated to close out the show.
WINNER: Batista at 12:37 – assuming it’s the least bit official since the ref magically appointed by Hunter didn’t actually make the count.
STAR RATING: *3/4 — Solid basic stuff. It told the story it needed to tell. The match itself wasn’t anything special.
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