WWE MAIN EVENT #329
JANUARY 16, 2019
AIRED ON HULU STREAMING TV
REPORT BY MIKE MEYERS, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR
Announcers: Tom Phillips, Percy Watson
REASONS TO WATCH…
– New year, new beard for Tyler Breeze.
– The world‘s most awkward tag team: Mickie & Foxy.
(1) ZACK RYDER & NO WAY JOSE vs. CURT HAWKINS & TYLER BREEZE
As Ryder and Jose made their entrance, Tom indicated that Nigel McGuinness and Vic Joseph would return to Main Event next week as they are currently covering NXT UK Takeover in England. Breeze has grown a full-fledged beard, leaving the referee with the only clean shaven face in the ring.
Jose got in some early offense, but soon Hawkins and Breeze began to work him over, making frequent tags. Breeze leveled Jose with an enzuigiri, and Hawkins landed a classic elbow drop. The camera panned over Jose’s chanting conga line while Hawkins delivered a vertical suplex in the background. The commentators only spoke of the match during pin attempts; the rest of their banter was focused on the importance of winning the Royal Rumble and going to Wrestlemania. Percy even stated that he understands why everyone would want to headline Wrestlemania – he must have an astute mind for the business.
After knocking Jose down again with an enzuigiri of his own, Hawkins dragged Jose toward a corner and scaled the ropes to perform a split-legged moonsault, but Jose rolled aside causing Hawkins to belly flop onto the canvas. This finally gave Jose the chance to crawl toward his corner. Breeze hopped off the apron and jogged around the ring to the opposite corner to disrupt a tag, but Ryder sniffed out his plan and intercepted Breeze with a clothesline off the apron before climbing back onto the apron to receive Jose’s tag.
Ryder easily got the upper hand over Hawkins, knocking him down a few times, and also knocked Breeze off the apron with a missile dropkick. Hawkins charged at Ryder in the ring, but Ryder countered with a drop toehold, sending Hawkins face first into the bottom turnbuckle. Ryder lined up and took aim at Hawkins with his fist in the air, and there was a faint smattering of “Woo woo woo’s” in the crowd before Ryder performed the chant proper. Ryder ran to the corner and landed the Broski Boot to the seated and stunned Hawkins. Ryder rolled Hawkins into the middle and pinned him, but Breeze entered the ring and broke it up. Jose then entered and neutralized Breeze out of the ring, leaving Ryder and Hawkins together again.
Breeze blind tagged himself in when Ryder and Hawkins struggled near his corner, allowing him to hop in and nail Ryder with a Supermodel Kick. Breeze pinned Ryder, but Jose, in the ring too soon, had to wait a split second to make his breakup of the cover more dramatic. Hawkins entered the ring, but Jose sent him sprawling with a Pop Up Punch. Breeze charged at Jose and missed a clothesline. With Breeze now behind Jose, Ryder charged at Jose who provided a vertical boost launch to Ryder, allowing him to land the Rough Ryder onto Breeze. Ryder covered for the three-count and victory. The conga line were the happiest people in the building.
WINNERS: Zack Ryder & No Way Jose by pinfall.
(Meyers’ Analysis: The match was snappy with some really good tag action, but the wrestlers could not get the crowd to care. The arena seemed silent, with the exception of the conga line trying to act as literal cheerleaders. The ambient ring audio sounded like an independent wrestling show with 80 fans in attendance – the individual sounds of the conga line cheering could be heard, and it was kind of awkward.)
-Main Event recap session:
- Replay of Ambrose (C) vs. Rollins vs. Lashley in a triple threat match for the Intercontinental Title from Raw
- Replay of A.J. Styles’s concourse promo and brawl with Daniel Bryan from Smackdown
- Match rundown for upcoming PPV, Royal Rumble
(2) DANA BROOKE & EMBER MOON vs. ALICA FOX & MICKIE JAMES
Tom reminded us to “Keep it cool, keep it crunchy!” after Brooke and Moon made their entrance. As Fox and James came down the ramp, Percy informed us that this year would be Fox’s first Royal Rumble match, as she had a broken tailbone during last year’s inaugural women’s Rumble. Mickie James was sporting her black and gold ring gear.
Moon started off against James, and the two grappled slowly in the middle of the ring. Thrice James slammed Moon onto her back by her hair, but thrice Moon kipped up. James maneuvered Moon into the corner, allowing Fox to tag in. As Fox stepped through the ropes, James moved Moon to the center of the ring and glanced up at Fox, perhaps setting up for a double team maneuver. James started the move, but instead of joining in, Fox looked amazed and delighted at her partner’s prowess, and actually backed off a couple steps to take in the action. James hoisted Moon upward, but Moon landed harmlessly on her feet off to the side, allowing her to tag in Brooke, who entered the ring.
Fox and James trotted in without a plan, and therefore Brooke and Moon simultaneously leveled them with clotheslines. Fox and James stumbled into opposite corners for some reason, which allowed Moon and Brooke to perform handspring gymnastic reverse elbows to their stunned opponents. James rolled out of the ring on her own accord, while Brooke used an enzuigiri to send Fox rolling out to ringside. Brooke and Moon postured to the crowd as the show cut to commercial.
Brooke was having her way with Fox as the show resumed. After two two-count pin attempts, Moon tagged back in. Moon and Brooke double teamed Fox to smack her through the ropes and out of the ring, but when Moon charged and started to dive through the ropes at the duo outside, she was met with a double uppercut by Fox and James. Fox scurried back into the ring and awkwardly flopped onto Moon’s back before turning her over for a rightful one-count cover. Tom called her move a “tackle.“ Fox brought Moon to the corner and smashed her face into the top turnbuckle before tagging James back in. While James bounced off the far ropes, Fox exposed Moon’s torso with an abdominal stretch maneuver – proof that Fox may understand the concept of tag team wrestling – allowing James to plant a front kick into Moon’s ribs.
After some brief heelish posturing at the crowd and Brooke, James made three quick pin attempts on Moon, who kicked out each time. James and Moon got to their feet and James pushed her toward the corner. James and Fox managed to make the most basic, high-five style tag look awkward with two swiping attempts. Fox, undeterred by her own mediocrity, entered the ring with an excited smile and kicked Moon in the gut. She brought Moon to the mat and locked in a rear chin lock.
Moon managed to escape the vile clutches of Fox, but Fox made the tag first, allowing James to rush in and block Moon from tagging in Brooke. James brought Moon again to her corner, tagged in Fox, then performed a hurricanrana to Moon as Fox entered the ring. Moon was on her belly, crawling toward Brooke when Fox performed a Perfect-esque somersault neck snap to Moon, planting her face to the canvas. The idea was great, the execution was not. Fox pinned for a one-count, then dragged Moon back to the corner and tagged James back in.
After a brief exchange, Moon was sat in the middle of the ring and James bounced off the ropes and charged as if to boot Moon in the face. Moon somehow deflected this, perhaps with a sweep maneuver, causing James to land awkwardly and hyperextend her left knee – this looked pretty good. Moon was finally able to tag in Brooke, who ran roughshod over James and attacked Fox on the apron. James managed to tag in Fox, and repeated the hurricanrana move from earlier, but this time to Brooke.
Fox charged in and did… something to Brooke. Tom explained it by saying, “Oh! I don’t know if Fox got all of that, but it looked effective!” It resulted in a pin attempt and two-count. Fox got to her feet and took some time to taunt Moon, and when she turned back to Brooke she was punished with a flapjack. Brooke tagged in Moon, who landed a tornado punch to Fox, who was seated in the middle of the ring. Moon tagged Brooke back in, then backed into the corner as Brooke scaled the ropes. The two held hands as Brooke flipped a senton onto Fox then went for the pin, but James rushed in to break it up.
Moon answered James’ run-in with a big forearm strike, and those two rolled out of the ring. Fox and Brooke grappled toward the corner, where yet another awkward tag was made: this time James blindly tagging herself in. Fox knocked Brooke down with a big boot to the face as James entered. James got Brooke to her feet and delivered the “MickDT,” a DDT prefaced by a nice vertical hop, then pinned Brooke for the three-count.
WINNERS: Alicia Fox & Mickie James by pinfall.
(Meyers’ Analysis: This tag match went marginally longer than most Main Event matches. Similar to the first match, the crowd seemed sedated, but these women didn‘t even have the pathetic benefit of a cheering section of local indy wrestlers. There was a good idea to have James hurt her knee, but it didn’t play out to much effect. Fox isn‘t good in the ring, but it‘s hard not to like her for her bizarre enthusiasm.)
SHOW SCORE (0-10): 5.8
FINAL THOUGHTS: A week off from new material left us all hyped for fresh Main Event action, but this show was mediocre. Perhaps it’s leftover resentment of the NXT talent being hidden from the Main Event showcase, but I could also argue that this episode’s theme was “awkardness.”