MIZ & MRS TV REPORT 5/7: The one where Maryse isn’t pregnant because Miz doesn’t understand French

By Sarah K, PWTorch contributor


MAY 7, 2019

The show opens with Miz doing an online class about learning French. Yup, he’s married to Maryse, and, nope, he doesn’t know French. And, no, he’s not particularly multi-lingual. We move on to Miz getting up to a home-cooked breakfast. Miz is suspicious of the gesture. It apparently only happens when Maryse has bought something expensive. Maryse has also broken down the boxes, which Miz also sees as a sign that something is up. In the mean time, Maryse has helpfully placed Post-it notes with French words on things to help Miz learn French. What we learn: Miz cannot roll his Rs. Miz is comically bad at French.

Maryse takes Miz to the airport; he is suspicious of her motives. They share a passionate kiss in the car… which is more entertaining that anything I have ever seen on Total Bellas. Yes, I think about that a lot when I write gushy things about this show and am generally unable to be annoyed at anything they do.

Miz shows up at Smackdown – with a fabulously obnoxious suit jacket. He’s still suspicious that something is going on, because there’s a small teddy bear in his bag. Oh, ha ha, the teddy bear is one of those Teddy Ruxpin-like things. It has a message recorded on it in French from Maryse. It’s about learning French. Miz shoots an episode of UpUpDwnDwn. And then he spies on Maryse and Marjo via the security cameras in his house. He thinks that he’s just caught Maryse announcing that she’s pregnant.

Moving on, Miz and Maryse are at home. Maryse wants to go to a Mexian restaurant. In somewhat broken French, Miz asks Maryse if he can buy her a drink. She says no. Miz sees this as a clue in his conspiracy that Maryse is pregnant. He then finds a gift bag with newborn clothes. Miz is then convinced that Maryse is pregnant.

Miz is driving in the car with his parents. He tells them that she’s pregnant… even though she has not told him that she’s pregnant. Miz is planning on out-surprising Maryse. Since this is a TV show, Miz has booked a Mariachi band, confetti, and a cake for this occasion. Miz and Maryse sit at this restaurant, then he gives her a gift bag and congratulates her on her pregnancy. Yup, there’s confetti, cake, and the band plays. And then Maryse tells Mike what he overheard on the security system. That she woke up tired and said she felt “old” – the French word being ancien, which sounds a little like the word for pregnant? Ha ha. This is probably why someone shouldn’t be spying on / eavesdropping on conversations.

Maryse explains that she was being nice to Miz because he was learning French… and that the anniversary of their first date is coming up. Evidently Miz took her to a porn store for that date… to find out what she was into. It didn’t work. And yet they ended up together. Anyway, the baby clothes were for a baby shower that for one of Maryse’s friends. Yeah, Miz has no future as a detective.

RECOMMENDED: MIZ & MRS TV REPORT 4/30: Three Dudes and a Baby as Maryse has a spa day, Cleveland Browns win, refrigerator acquired, Monroe in music class, Ziggler visits

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