SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
Oh my goodness, we’re back!
The good news is we got NWA Super Powerrr!
The bad news is we got NWA Super Powerrr!
Let’s dive right in.
•MARTY SCURLL & BRODY KING W/ MARQUEZ – NEUTRAL: First and foremost, this needs said: Villain Enterprises is a really stupid name. Moving on, this was just fluff if you ask me. They wanted to open with a “hot” segment for the main event but instead we got Marty just kind of being there and Brody saying Marty will be the next champion. I get you want to use the featured guest talent but this wasn’t the right way. NWA is a show where the promos drive the entertainment and the matches are filler, but this was also just filler. Not a good start but not a bad start either.
•KAMILLE vs. MADI MAXX – MILD HIT: Yes, I’ve instituted a new category, the mild hit. It’s more than my usual 50.1% hit but less than a definite hit, which I would say is about 75%, so the mild hit is about 60%? Anyway, after an endless promo of all the times Kamille never spoke, we got her debut NWA match against a real spark plug in Madi Maxx. I like Madi. i don’t think I’ve ever seen her before but she had really simple but great attire, almost reminiscent of Wonder Woman without being on the nose, and she just had good spunk, a bright smile, and we saw just enough offense from her to to want to see her again but this was about Kamille. Kamille is a big gal and she looks great in the spartan outfit. It makes her look even taller, her legs even thicker; she’s got the potential goods, dude. I like the power Kamille shows and really, that’s what the women’s division needs. We have “rookies”, we have vets, we have Melina, but we don’t have a Big Hurt. Kamille is just what the doctor ordered and I especially love her steamroller setup into her big spear finish.
•KAMILLE ORIGIN STORY – MILD HIT: I wanted to love this. I tried to love this. I didn’t love this. I didn’t enjoy it insomuch as I just liked it. It was fine. Kamille set herself up as a woman who was always gifted from grade school to college softball to pro football to pro wrestling. Everything she’s done either came naturally or relatively naturally and that made her a target to competitors from what should have been friends and teammates. That’s a good story to tell because it set her up as someone who has never had women friends because she was constantly hated by women, thus she’s in a stable of all men. The story was good, the footage was fine, and her delivery is capable. I even liked the touch of we never see her speak until the very end where she tells the women’s division she’s coming for them. But with all of these pros, there was just something that made me only kinda like it. I think maybe because it also felt like something I could have seen Lacey Evans say before leaving NXT, and it’s that same level of all of these things are fine but the sum isn’t necessarily greater than the parts.
•ROCK ‘N’ ROLL EXPRESS vs. ARON STEVENS & QUESTION MARK – WOEFUL MISS: I have been firmly off the R&R Express since the week after they won the titles. The right thing to do was give them the big pop of winning and then have them lose immediately as they are, well, ya know, OVER SIXTY YEARS OLD! However, much like Justin Bieber, they won’t go away.
The highlight of this entire segment was Shooter’s belt tied around his waist AND around his neck like a tie. Yes, that’s it. That is the sole highlight. The rest was bordering abominable. This was more comedic Stevens rather than aggressive Stevens; they brought out a guy called Question Mark Jr, that was just a big huge guy in a mask and his whole purpose was to get winded running halfway around the ring from Trevor Murdoch. Somehow this all distracted Shooter and one old guy rolled him up after pushing him over the on-all-fours-from-behind old guy. You know the spot, I’m just doing a terrible job of using words to explain it. The bottom line is that this was just woeful to watch. Absolutely woeful.
•ZICKY DICE SPOT – HIT!: Zicky Dice, still in his time machine gimmick, told us to hit record on our video cassette recorders and watch the new TV champ because he is television! OK, i love Zicky, I know this was recorded month ago, but licking the title in the time of COVID-19 is just not a good look. Maybe I’m nitpicky or on edge as an at risk person but it really sticks out now. That said he’s got a new t-shirt and yes, I did order one during this spot.
•MELINA, ALLYSIN KAY, AND THUNDER ROSA W/ KYLE DAVIS – MILD HIT: If I never say another nice thing about her, let this be the last–Melina always dresses for the cameras. If only she could speak and perform for the cameras, that’s the problem. Of course she put herself over as a legend and alluded to having an agreement with Rosa in their title match but never actually said what the agreement was and barely mentioned with whom. That said, I thought she did enough and held it together, especially considering her other promos. The point of this segment was to set up a challenger for Thunder Rosa’s title at Crockett Cup. Melina says she’s more deserving because Kay got two shots and lost both and Melina only lost once… seems like a flawed argument since she refused to wrestle in her one chance, but okay. Rosa comes out to a big babyface response and shoots down Melina’s idea of them having an agreement. Rosa does what Wade Keller loves babyfaces to do and issues her mission statement: to represent her family, her dojo, and the NWA as their champion and with pride. She’s solidly babyface now and the division is all the better for it. In a bit of a clunky ending, Rosa indeed challenges both to a three way dance at Crockett Cup for the belt. So sure, the talking seemed a bit staccato but Rosa clearly standing apart from Melina and making sure we know she’s a babyface was what makes this a mild hit.
•JAX DANE (W/DANNY DEALS) vs. TIM STORM – HUGE MISS: Tim Storm as a character is great. Tim Storm cutting promos is great. Tim Storm wrestling is just okay. Jax Dane isn’t the partner to get a better match out of him and this walk-and-brawl definitely isn’t the match for them to have. Honestly, the best part was Stu Bennett asking why Danny Deals is even involved in this because hell, we were all curious. Joe Galli cleaned it up saying Danny wanted them to be a tag team, however, he could have made that up but he sounded like he knew the deal. Somewhere Dane split his head open a little bit but he wasn’t sweaty so there was never that good crimson mask or really even a few drops. I could continue on how the action was meh at best, but the problem with this match is that they went too fast into a blood feud for a backstory most don’t know and wasn’t built up for us to care, and that’s without the weeks of layoff due to isolation. There was a stipulation of if Storm wins, he gets five minutes with Danny in ring, so Storm won of course and gives Deals two Perfect Storms for acting like Mama Storm. This did NOT add any excitement or interest, sadly.
•MAY VALENTINE’S DIARY – HUGE MISS: Fine, I’ll admit it at the top. I don’t like May Valentine and really dislike these diaries but this was just not good. She goes on about how Sal Rinauro, the grossest looking wrestler in North America, is just a good friend and how her jealous boyfriend, Royce Isaacs, is ruining her friendship and life. She is so distraught at me DMing her and accusing her of not being loyal to Royce, but she says that isn’t true! She cries some more about losing 100 followers online (dang millennials) and then has to cut it short because the whole ordeal is too traumatic for her. Well, frankly, watching this was too traumatic for me and I wish I could get those minutes back.
•MARTI BELLE vs. ASHLEY VOX vs. TASHA STEELZ – HIT!: This was the best match on the card and not by default! It’s great to see Ashley Vox back and the idea of these three women, also known as the other half of the women’s division, jockeying for position while the main half fight for the women’s title made this match have some stakes. Marti Belle wore an outfit for domestic violence awareness, a babyface move, and then refused to shake hands with her competitors, a heel move. Good to see there’s continuity here. Maybe we can give Thom Latimer a Conor’s Cure shirt too. Anyway, the action here was good. Marti had the upperhand most of the match, and she should being the established “vet” here, but there were no powders or people waiting outside the ring to come back in when it was their turn and that alone makes this a good match. The highlight of the match was Ashley Vox selling moves, even while prone on the mat, and never fixing her trunks waistline! She went the entire match like this! Do you know how distracting it is when someone takes a huge bump and sells it, stops, adjusts their top or pants, and then sells again? Kudos to you, Ashley. Marti has added a discus forearm to her arsenal and she executes it quite well. In the end, SURPRISE! Tasha Steelz wins the match in what I for sure thought Ashley Vox would win, but nope, they went with the other “rookie” instead. I’m okay with that because why not? The title is going to be tied up with Rosa and Kamille sooner than later, so maybe Tasha gets a studio match for it and that’s all the better for her.
•ELI DRAKE, JAMES STORM, AND EDDIE KINGSTON W/ MARQUEZ – MISS: Eddie Kingston is too good to be crowded out on the mic by a screaming James Storm and a goofy Eli Drake. And I even like Drake on the mic but this was just bad all around. Kingston says he is aligning with Drake and Storm because they like to fight, so then why not trust them?! That’s great logic, right?! And then he’s done. Cowboy screams about loving entertaining the fans and that’s why he does this. So not winning titles, kayfabe? Okay, cool, got it. Drake does his usual shtick and says anyone can challenge them for the belts at Crockett Cup and then steals Storm’s damn luck and Storm steals Drake’s yeah. No one shined in a segment full of good to great talkers.
•MAIN EVENT – THOM LATIMER & NICK ALDIS vs. BRODY KING & MARTY SCURLL – MISS: The foresight for Scurll to be wearing the plague doctor mask all these years, it’s like he knew a pandemic was coming! And looking at Brody, I just want him and Zicky to become a team already. Oh, and did i already say Villain Enterprises a dumb name? It makes Strictly Business sound like Queen’s Quest!
Anyway, about the match, this was just a collection of stuff and then Brody King, who was the only one who looked like he wanted to fight and brought legitimacy and an illusion of pain to the action. This match hit peak silly when after both teammates kicking their opponent in the back from outside the ring, Marty Scurll high fived himself and took a bump to convince a distracted Brian Hebner that Aldis kicked him again. I hated this because all it did was hang a lantern on how ALL STRIKES SOUND LIKE SLAPS! No matter what part of the body is struck by what, it’s going to be accompanied with a leg slap. I hate it! I will say though, that if this were done on a show that wasn’t so wacky and/or terrible to begin with, I may have not minded but this just added to the wacky and/or terrible.
There really wasn’t anything about the action or psychology to talk about. The entire thing just seemed like a means to an end of keeping Marty and Nick involved and close to each other without giving away anything at all. Mission accomplished.
•BILLY CORGAN POST-SCRIPT – MISS: As president, Billy wants us to know that the NWA won’t be going anywhere but until this is all over, they’ll be presenting a new show next week called CARNYLAND!
Oh god. Is NWA Powerrr not Carnyland already?!
•OVERALL – HUGE MISS: If this had aired when scheduled, I think it still would have been terrible. NWA Powerrr had been on a downward trajectory since season two anyway. The angles are all over the place and never reach finality; matches just happen without much promotion, fanfare, or reason; there always seems to be a lack of continuity, etc. So, no, it wasn’t the long layoff that made this show stink. I thought that maybe the recaps to refresh my mind on what last happened would help but I think it made it worse because it brought back all the memories I had of hating those stories as they happened and here they were back again. That’s not to say this was all bad. Thunder Rosa is firmly entrenched in the babyface side of the ledger and the three way dance of the “lesser” women was fun. Also we got Tony Falk’s Waffles and Tire Irons and I love that ad. This just wasn’t a good show. Honestly, they would be better off if they scrap EVERYTHING when they come back from isolation and just start anew and get someone to sit in on creative and call out some of these stupid ideas and segments.