5/18 BEING THE ELITE: Omega chats with Colt Cabana in extra-cartoonish way, Hangman Page has reflective, funny, dark chat about living in the woods and lamenting running out of liquor

By Zach Graham, PWTorch contributor


SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...

BEING THE ELITE EP. 204 – “Monologue”
POSTED ON YOUTUBE.COM
MAY 18, 2020
REPORT BY ZACH GRAHAM, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR

-Kenny Omega was video chatting with someone, but the chair was empty. He called for the person, unsure of who called him. A hand appeared from the left side of the screen and waved at Omega and gave him a thumbs up before Colt Cabana sat down revealing it was him. Omega yelled at him and Cabana tried to calm him down. Omega was upset that Cabana had his Zoom number and kept yelling as Cabana tried getting him to calm down and listen. Cabana said that the Young Bucks gave him Omega’s number, Kenny didn’t like that. Cabana asked for two seconds of his time and Omega said fine he can have two minutes.

Cabana asked Omega if they can just be cool now. Cabana said they got off on the wrong foot and he doesn’t want anyone in the wrestling world to get upset with him at all. He said he doesn’t need any heat or anything coming at him. Omega laughed it off. Cabana said there are no cameras and “Tyler and Scott are just talking.” Omega angrily corrected him that his real name is Tyson, like the boxer. Omega then threatened to knock him out with a left hook like Tyson, then told Cabana that he saw Omega’s street fight so he knows what he’s capable of. Cabana said he just wanted to be on BTE just like Flip Gordon was and Gordon went from a schmuck to a star so he was hoping for the same. Omega cut him off and said he sees a lot of himself in Scott (Cabana) even though he hates to admit that.

Omega said he doesn’t think Cabana is a talentless hack at all, he actually thinks he’s funny, charming, good looking, he has a nice body, but the problem is Omega values his spot on BTE so much that he’s afraid he may lose it to someone like Cabana. Omega used Hangman Page as an example, he said he was supposed to be the star of that tag team and look what happened. Omega said he doesn’t even have an expression, but everyone is yelling “cowboy shit.” Omega said he’s the guy on Dynamite every week, Hangman isn’t even around, yet he’s more over than him. Omega asked if Cabana wants to be the next guy to take the spotlight away from him, Cabana shook his head no unable to get a word in as Kenny continued ranting.

Omega then brought up high school where he used to be the star football player, star basketball player, star volleyball player, star shuffleboard player, star at checkers…

-The Being the Elite open aired.

-Matt Jackson was finishing a yogurt, he looked around to see if anyone was watching him, then slowly put the yogurt cup into the overflowing trash can trying to make sure it didn’t fall out. He succeeded and walked away. Matt’s wife noticed and asked him to just take the trash out, Matt asked if she meant the trash can he just put the yogurt in. She confirmed and he stumbled over his words trying to find an excuse as to why he didn’t do it before. He grabbed the bag and shook it out of the can, then started nervously looking around again trying to decide what to do with the bag of trash. He pretended to hit his head off the wall in his kitchen and fell to the floor. His wife and kids walked over concerned, Matt was shown with fake blood all over his forehead. His wife took the trash and said she would do it and told him to go clean up his cut. Matt smiled as his wife went outside to get rid of the trash.

-Omega was back still rambling with Cabana. Omega was talking about being good at chess and magic until the school play came around. Omega said everyone wanted to be Santa including him. He asked Cabana if he could see Omega as Santa, Cabana agreed. Omega said he didn’t get the part though because he was too cocky. He said he went in and, just when he thought he had it, a young and up in coming William Dafoe stole it from him. Cabana confirmed he meant THE William Dafoe, Omega said yes the guy who played the Green Goblin stole it from him. Omega said he felt it was revenge because he dated Dafoe’s sister Willis, but that’s not why, it’s because he was better. Now Kenny is looking at Cabana in the same way, he’s better than him. Cabana asked if he’s afraid someone is going to take his spot, Omega said yes. Omega said he knows Nick and Matt would never do that to him, but since that day it’s been hard for him to trust and he can’t trust Cabana. Cabana asked Omega if he realized what just happened, he opened up to him. Cabana asked if he’s ever done that with anyone else, Omega said no he’s never done that with anyone else. Cabana congratulated him on making a lot of progress.

-A recap of Private Party’s attacker being revealed as Hangman Page was shown from last week’s BTE.

-Kassidy was talking on his phone. He said he knows who it was “it was Hangman ‘Pussy Pants’ Page all along!” Marq Quen asked if he was sure and Kassidy said yes, he hired the bear and the boogey man. He’s not sure if he’s the actual boogey man, but he looks like it, so he’s going to be called the boogey man. Kassidy told Quen to meet him in the same spot, Quen said okay he’s almost there. As Quen hung up his phone he ran into Kassidy. Kassidy reemphasized that it was Hangman and said he was on the phone and had a job for somebody. Quen brought up the L paper they found. Quen said L is the twelfth letter of the alphabet, Quen then asked what time it was. Kassidy said it’s 12 o’clock, a graphic flashed on the screen to show it was actually 8:49 PM. Kassidy then called Hangman. Kassidy accused him of jumping them, then the person on the phone disputed it. Kassidy pointed out the beer and the boogey man, Quen jumped in and said it was Papa Shango. Kassidy then told Page to bring the bear and boogey man and next week they’ll have a backyard match next week. Kassidy then said he won’t bug Hangman about the $12 anymore because if “his boys” beat them, then he won’t owe them another cent.

-A graphic was shown promoting Bonez & The Bear vs. Private Party next week on BTE.

-Nick, standing outside of his house, asked Cutler where he was. Cutler said he didn’t know and Nick said they’ll just start without him. Nick then started introducing what they were doing, but Matt jumped in with a bandage on his forehead. Matt blamed the traffic, but Nick said everyone is at home, so how was there traffic? He asked about his forehead bandage and Matt said he had an accident at home and got some color.

-Matt Hardy appeared while sitting on the mower of lawns and said “Wait! Pause the multiverse!” He said that color, in the context of a wrestling match, is blood, or the art of bleeding. In bygone days color was almost always intentional, but as the industry evolved and society got more intelligent, now color is almost always unintentional. He said if someone bleeds in a match and they were hurt unintentionally, it is called “bleeding hard way.” He said that is color and these are terms from the inside explained using broken brilliance.

-Nick and Matt were back and Nick said they are at the BTE compound, property number three. Nick said Matt may be wondering why he brought him there and Matt said he thinks he knows. Nick pointed to the basketball court, Matt said no. Nick pointed to a small picnic table he built for his kids and Matt said no, then pointed to something behind Cutler and said he was talking about that. A large metal frame was set up and Nick said he forgot to tell him about that. Nick said they’re building a new custom wrestling ring. Matt sarcastically said that’s a totally normal thing to have in your back yard. Nick said that during this “Corona season” he isn’t sure how much ring time they’re going to have so he decided to build a ring. Nick said that’s not the only thing he has in mind. Matt asked what else had planned then a high speed video of Matt, Nick, and Cutler adding wood onto the ring frame was shown.

-Omega and Cabana were still talking on their video call. Omega said he’s going to think about this really cool angle for BTE for him and Cabana because they’re friends. Cabana asked if it was for next week and Omega said he’s thinking more long term with this. Omega said he was thinking four or five months down the line with this. Omega said that, much like a young Willem Dafoe, Cabana will come swooping in to take the spotlight from Omega that Omega hands to him. Then people will say that Kenny is so nice, so kind, and so generous. Cabana looked confused. Omega said he can see it now and by doing that he will be doing a service to the people by letting Cabana shine.

Cabana questioned that this is happening in five months and Omega said either then or the next season of BTE, he’s not really sure, but you should do 100 episode seasons and they just ended a season. Omega said he thinks it’s all about timing but they can talk about that. Omega said he’s relieved that they had this talk and now he feels like they’re boys and Cabana hesitantly agreed. Cabana said he’s going to call Nick and tell him that creative has nothing for him this week, Omega offered to call Nick, but Cabana said he will do it. Cabana said he’ll let him know that there’s nothing for him this week, or the week after, or the week after. Omega reiterated that it’s a slow burn, now they’ve teased it so they want to make the people forget. Cabana visually disagreed. Omega said the moment the people forget, they bring Cabana back.

-Justin Roberts, with his hair in a ponytail, adjusted his tie. A small clip of The Librarians walking up to him aired as he continued looking around at his ceiling. Another small clip of Nick Jackson talking to him was shown.

-Hangman Page said one thing you have to understand about living outside is that you have to stay hydrated and you can’t just drink whiskey all the time, you need to have some water and his water supply isn’t that great. He said sometimes you have to make do with what you got and held up a plastic bottle of yellow liquid (supposed to be his pee) and took a big swig of it and forced himself to swallow it. He said “I’ve had worse.”

The Hangman Page AEW Dynamite opening aired of him in the woods.

Hangman started talking, but there was an extraordinarily loud amount of wind noise. A disclaimer popped up warning the viewers that there would be wind noise. In the disclaimer Page wrote that he can’t exactly get a microphone off Amazon to ship to “wherever the hell in the woods I am.” The disclaimer also said if this is the worst thing to happen to you this week, consider yourself lucky because he became friends with a turtle he caught then had to eat him so he didn’t starve.

Hangman said welcome to “Hangman gets drunk and lives in the woods” and he’s been excelling at both of those things so far, but it’s about time to hunker down for the night. First, he wanted to tell a story of something that happened to him. He said he just climbed a big red oak and opened his last bottle of whiskey when he heard what sounded like a tiny tornado whiz past his ear, but it wasn’t that it was a bald eagle landing in his nest about 30 feet from where he was. He said he took the first swig of his last whiskey bottle and watched the eagle settle into her nest. He said he couldn’t help but have the feeling that maybe he should go home. He said the thought itself ballooned inside his brain like a malignant tumor as it was uninvited, unwelcomed, but growing just the same.

He said honestly it would be ridiculous to go home right now though because out in the woods he can’t get infected or get anyone else infected. He said we’re all in this together and “this isn’t some Kumbaya attitude regurgitated over a soft melody during a Subaru Forester commercial.” Page said it feels irresponsible to go back to his house and he will never know if he over reacted coming to the woods to live, but he would forever live with the pain of knowing he didn’t do enough. Page said he’s honestly enjoyed living out there. He said he’s got good company, even though we can’t see them, but they’re everywhere. Page then questioned why he thought about going home in the first place. He said it feels selfish, but there’s a large part of him that wants to march right back up his front steps, take of his boots, let them dry, and stumble through the front door with a sheepish grin hoping nobody had noticed he ever left in the first place.

Page said the last couple of months have left him feeling pretty damn worthless. He said he used to know more, but now living in a house is kind of all he understands now. He said most selfishly he wants to go home because he was on the run of his life in that house including learning to eat as much toast as he wanted and he nearly won the prestigious “Man of the House” award in May. He said he teamed up with his broom to clean the house better than anyone had before and he was starting to patch up the holes in the walls. He said everyone loved was he was doing in the house and it made him feel more validated than anything else ever in his life.

Page said he was on his way to the Man of the House award, but now he’ll never get his momentum back now that he left. He asked if momentum even exists in a house that’s empty, or maybe he’s just a brat. He said maybe it’s selfish he’s been living the Snow White woodland fantasy while Cynthia from Food Line has to go back to her apartment every morning. Page said either way he looks at this, he’s the bad guy in his own drunken monologue in the woods and maybe that’s just the way the world has conditioned him to think. Page said all he knows is that he can’t shake the feeling that the world is about to “F— him dry” one more time and for the first time ever he has a chance to put on lipstick first.

Page said he needs to go back home and he still has bills to pay, but honestly he wants to climb back on his horse and ride off into the sunset. “Maybe I’m just throwing my leg over a saddle with a broken tree, kicking a horse I know has long been dead, and the horse just collapses and now I’m just sitting right back here in this spot thinking ‘why did I want to go home in the first place?” he said. Page said maybe the eagle coming back home made him think this or maybe it’s just a good amount of whiskey. He looked down on the town below in thought as the camera cut to black.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Omega is really over the top and cartoonish on BTE, but this week felt extra cartoonish. He also seems like he’s up to no good trying to act as if he and Cabana had a breakthrough, but ultimately he’s going to “bury” Cabana to keep his spotlight for himself. It’s early, but the final clip from their conversation made me think that Omega was putting on a performance and actually has evil intentions for keeping Cabana away from BTE.

That was a really strange monologue from Hangman to end this episode. It was funny, it was self-reflecting, it was even a little dark in spots. He did a good job even if the content was a little all over the place and random. His character arc on this show the last couple of weeks is interesting. He’s gone from overly paranoid about COVID-19, to excitedly living in the woods, to running out of liquor and wanting to go home. I’m interested to see what they do next. Normally, I’d say I’m interested to see where it goes, but it’s BTE and sometimes things just happen because they’re funny. He could just return home and that be the end of it, I wouldn’t be shocked.


CATCH UP… 5/11 BEING THE ELITE REPORT (Ep. 203): Matt & Nick Jackson at BTE Compound, new Dynamite theme, Hangman Page, Kenny Omega, Daniels shows how to create a mask at home, Marko Stunt

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