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WWE HELL IN A CELL KICKOFF REPORT
OCTOBER 25, 2020
REPORT BY MIKE F. MEYERS, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR
Kickoff Panel: Charly Caruso, Jerry Lawler, Booker T, Jeff Jarrett, Peter Rosenberg
After a Sasha-Bayley video package, the panel discussed this matchup. Peter said their relationship dates back to NXT and is as much of a family issue as the Reigns vs. Uso match. Lawler predicted that tonight’s match would be the final nail in the women’s coffin. Jarrett said that Bayley’s 2020 transformation would not be complete unless she walked out still holding the championship tonight.
Charly threw to Kayla Braxton backstage with Paul Heyman. Kayla asked about the consequences of Jey Uso defeating Reigns tonight. Heyman confirmed Reigns’s words from Smackdown, that he would quit all of his current roles as we know them. He added that when Reigns wins, that Jey will become his “indentured servant.” Heyman spoke with a slow, breathy tone.
Peter and Lawler stood at ringside in the Cell. Lawler recounted the legendary Mick Foley fall from the top of the Cell through his announce table. Regarding tonight, he said he couldn’t imagine Reigns or Uso saying they quit. Back on the panel, Charly pivoted to Orton-McIntyre and claimed that Orton seemed frightened when McIntyre appeared with bolt cutters to break into the Cell. Booker predicted a McIntyre victory, while Jarrett claimed the three most important letters of the night will be “RKO.”
Sarah Schreiber was backstage with Jeff Hardy. Hardy said he’s made many mistakes in his life, but that he never hit Elias with a car. He indicated that a Twist of Fate is awaiting Elias tonight. R-Truth interrupted the panel. He referred to Jarrett as “Double-J Jesse James.” Booker, attempting to further confuse Truth, claimed to be Kofi Kingston, but Truth saw through this ruse and made a quick exit. Elias appeared with his Fender California Redondo acoustic-electric guitar. Elias maintained his narrative that Hardy not only ruined his concert, but ran him over with a car. Jarrett stood up for Hardy’s stance. Lawler chimed in with a classic zinger: “If you don’t like the way Hardy drives, stay off the sidewalk.” Elias began strumming, and sung about guys named Jeff, and how Jeff must be Spanish for “junky.” He left while still strumming, and Booker declared the song a hit.
After a replay of Law & Otis from Smackdown, Miz and a beardless Morrison joined the panel remotely. Charly questioned the last-second change in JBL’s judgment. Miz described the briefcase he gave JBL as a “key piece of evidence,” and Morrison said to “use your imagination.” Miz said that Otis isn’t fit to be the face of the company, and by taking the Money in the Bank contract, he is looking out for all of WWE. Booker said he understood everything Miz and Morrison were saying, and that he’d see them in the Hall of Fame.
Announcers: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Samoa Joe
(1) R-TRUTH (C) vs. DREW GULAK – 24/7 Championship match
As the bell rang, Truth high fived Little Jimmy, his invisible counterpart. Gulak put Little Jimmy on his knee, then kicked him clear out of the ring. Truth, enraged, charged and tackled Gulak. He threw Gulak to the mat with a hip toss, then covered for two. Truth battered Gulak in one corner, then rammed him face-first into the opposite corner. He straddled Gulak while standing on the middle rope and landed more punches, but Gulak pushed him down and leveled Truth with a clothesline.
Gulak took control with submission maneuvers against Truth’s left leg. Truth escaped briefly, but Gulak quickly had him on the mat again. Truth got a rope break, and soon leveled Gulak with Cena-esque shoulder tackles and a suplex. Truth dropped the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Gulak escaped the Attitude Adjustment, but Truth ran the ropes and hit a spinning elbow. Gulak dodged a scissor kick and fired Truth into a corner. Gulak moved in and laid in a series of kicks. Gulak set up for a superplex in that corner, but Truth battled back with punches. Truth slipped between his legs and rolled up Gulak for the pin and victory.
WINNER: R-Truth in 5:30 by pinfall.
(Meyers’s Analysis: This actually had less comedic antics than I anticipated. Nothing groundbreaking, as one would expect.)
Lucha House Party and Akira Tozawa appeared and chased Truth out of the Thunderdome. Gulak approached the panel and declared that Truth’s childhood hero, John Cena, sucks. He stormed off.
Ali was shown backstage with Retribution. He proposed that one member of Retribution should square off against one member of Hurt Business tonight, and demanded that MVP decide who will represent his group.
Find Mike Meyers on Twitter: @themikeshow42