SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
The following report originally published 20 years ago this week here at PWTorch.com…
WWE FRIDAY NIGHT SMACKDOWN
APRIL 14, 2005
TAPED TUESDAY IN CHICAGO, ILL.
BY WADE KELLER, PWTORCH EDITOR
-Clips aired of last week’s show including John Cena’s promo, his altercation with The Cabinet, and tension between Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio. The Smackdown opening aired, which is one of the better opening montages they’ve had over the years.
-Michael Cole and Tazz introduced the show. Tazz said the presentation of Cena’s new championship belt will be a “rocket buster.”
1 – ORLANDO JORDAN (w/JBL) vs. BOOKER T
A beltless JBL walked out of his white limo to accompany U.S. Champion Orlando Jordan to the ring. Tazz said JBL looks naked without a belt. JBL must look pretty strange naked because to my eyes, he looks to be wearing a suit. JBL joined Cena and Tazz on commentary and lost it right away when they talked about him being beltless. He said he is still a Wrestling God. JBL insisted that Booker T would not hold the WWE Title again because that spot was reserved for himself. Regarding Cena’s plans to makeover the WWE Title belt, JBL said he’s making a mockery of time-honored tradition. The Bashams attacked Booker as he was about to go into his finishing sequence. As they attacked Booker three-on-one, Big Show charged to the ring and slid under the ropes without tearing any quads. The heels fled.
WINNER: Booker T at 1:40 via DQ.
STAR RATING: 1/4* — Too short to amount to much.
-G.M. Teddy Long came out and said he would tolerate such interference, so he booked Orlando Jordan against both Booker T and Big Show. JBL said Long isn’t a disgrace to his race, he’s a disgrace to the human race. It’s sad that the old “disgrace to his race” cliche is on the tip of JBL’s tongue like that, but it would be something his character would say. “Martin Luther King is spinning in his grace right now,” JBL said.
2 — BIG SHOW & BOOKER T vs. ORLANDO JORDAN & THE BASHAMS
Long said it would be Big Show & Booker vs. Jordan, but the ref let the Bashams wrestle. The Bashams immediately attacked Big Show, stopping him from chokeslamming Jordan. They chokeslammed Show over the top rope. Booker clotheslined both Bashams. Big Show speared Danny at ringside as Booker beat up Doug. He then hit the scissors kick for the win. Cole pointed out that Show and Booker, in the ring together shaking hands, would be facing off next week. If the Bashams were officially in the match, giving the heels the advantage, why was JBL so upset with Long? And why would Long book a match to “get even with the heels” for interfering that gave them an extra man? If Long only meant for Jordan to be in the match, why did the ref let the Bashams wrestle and one of them take the pin? JBL lashed into the Bashams after the match for losing, even shoving one of them.
WINNER: Show & Booker at 1:22.
STAR RATING: 1/4*
[Commercial Break]
3 — TORRIE WILSON vs. DAWN MARIE
They went into a series of a near falls and reversals. Torrie hit a swinging neckbreaker out of nowhere for the clean win.
WINNER: Wilson at 2:21.
STAR RATING: 1/2* — Not bad action, but really short.
[Commercial Break]
-Carlito Cabana: Carlito Cool walked out and said he was cool, unlike Piper’s Pit and Jericho’s Highlight Reel. He said unlike Oprah, he doesn’t plan to give the fans free cars. He said he does have apples, but if anyone disrespects him he’ll spit in their face. He said it didn’t take him long to realize that Chicago “is not cool.” When the crowd booed, he told them relax. He ripped on the Cubs not winning a World Series in nearly 100 years. He then introduced Rey Mysterio. Carlito rubbed in that Rey didn’t win last week’s match against JBL thanks to Eddie Guerrero’s interference.
Rey agreed that what Eddie did last week was not cool and he is furious at him. He said he hadn’t talked to him since last week. He said he didn’t appreciate him trying to stir things up between them. Rey, though added that Eddie is his “familia.” He said he’s like a big brother to him. “Whatever problems we have, we’ll work them out, so don’t worry about it.” He concluded with a firm declaration that he will have another chance to become WWE Champion. Carlito mockingly sang “The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow.”
He derided Rey for being delusionally positive. He went back to stressing that things just aren’t right between he and Eddie. He said Eddie is jealous of him. Rey asked, “Why would you say that?” New music started for a new act, MNM. Red carpet was rolled out and photographers came out and shot pictures of them. Tazz and Cole asked, “Who are they?” They haven’t been watching their OVW tapes, apparently. Melina did the splits as she entered the ring, which bugged out Carlito’s eyes. “Wow, what an entrance!” said Carlito. “I don’t know who you are, but let me be the first to say, you guys are cool.” The crowd wasn’t ready to endorse their act yet, and gave them tentative “go away” boos.
Melina introduced Nitro and Mercury, “the It Team on the Scene.” She said they come from a real city, Los Angeles. She dropped the names of Ashton, Paris, Nick, and Jessica. She said they could so easily be tag team champions with Latino Heat and Lucha Oocha on the outs. She got in Rey’s face and asked for a tag team title shot. Rey told her she’s good at dropping names, but she ought to drop a breath mint. Nitro and Mercury attacked Rey. Carlito just stood by and watched from a lounge chair. Good debut for MNM. If you haven’t heard, their act has gotten rave reviews from those watching Ohio Valley TV shows and involved in the promotion.
[Commercial Break]
-JBL chewed out Jordan and the Bashams backstage. He said the only reason he is not still WWE Champion is because of “you three idiots, you three imbeciles.” He said every great man is known for the company they keep and the company he keeps right now is pretty damn rotten. He said they were in danger of being cut loose. He stormed away, huffing and puffing and bumped into a delivery man with a big box that was a delivery for John Cena. JBL said he and John are really close friends, handed him a wad of cash, and took the box. JBL told Jordan he just intercepted the belt. Jordan said they could destroy the title. JBL shouted, “We?! There is no we! I will not allow this to be screwed up. I will do this myself.”
-Guerrero ran into the training room to check on Rey, who wanted to know where he was. Guerrero was taken aback by Rey’s tone. He said he would have never interfered had JBL not touched him. He got teared up and emotional, telling Rey not to question their friendship. He vowed to beat Kurt Angle later and eventually become WWE Champion in his honor.
[Commercial Break]
ARTICLE CONTINUED BELOW…
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-John Cena walked to the ring and opened by saying, “Chicago Chain Gang, the Champ is Here!” He brought up that WrestleMania 22 would take place in Chicago. He told the crowd it was only fitting that he unveil the new WWE Title belt in Chicago. Cena asked JBL to bring that box to the ring because it’s important for what he had planned. He threatened to go back and get it if JBL wouldn’t voluntarily bring it out. JBL walked out onto the stage without the box.
A worker brought a trash can to the ring. Another worker put the box on top of the trash can. JBL took off his jacket and revealed the WWE Title with Cena’s nameplate on it around his waist. JBL said Cena left it lying in the back unprotected. Cena said JBL has made a hobby of stealing his stuff, but he said by the end of the night, that belt wouldn’t represent the WWE Title anymore. JBL said he would not allow Cena to desecrate his legacy and what he worked so long and hard to build. JBL went into the box and put his hands inside of it and it was guts from a nearby stockyard. JBL, with his hands covered in the gunk, began dry heaving.
Cena then poured it over JBL’s head. Cena said it was tough buying a gift for someone who has almost everything, but the thing he was missing was guts. Cena said he is tired of JBL talking about how much better he is than everyone else. He said he is a champion who makes an impact.
The new WWE Title belt was lowered from the ceiling. It looked like Cena took all of the sequins off of all of Bobby Heenan’s outfits and put them on a belt with a spinning WWE logo. From a distance, the detail blends in, but up close it’s pretty ornate. Cena screamed, “Out time is now!” Cena’s doing a great job with the gimmick of being a common dude which plays perfectly off of JBL’s rich snob act.
[Commercial Break]
4 — HEIDENREICH vs. UNNAMED OPPONENT
It’s really awkward when the commentators don’t even mention the name of the wrestler doing the squash job. The crowd chanted “boring” at Heidenreich. Tazz said he’d like to be Heidenrech’s friend. He said he likes him because he’s different. Cole said he’d never forget how he learned how truly different Heidenreich is. After the match Heidenreich read a poem about breaking wind. “Blowing farts out my ass like breeze that blow through the grass. I love the feel of when I fart. It makes me smile and warms my heart. And that was a poem by Heidenreich.” Tazz said it was a damn good one, some of his best work. Cole said Tazz is as sick as he is.
WINNER: Heidenreich at 2:10.
STAR RATING: 1/4*
-Backstage Booker T and Mrs. T got psyched up for a photo shoot. As he posed, Kurt Angle interrupted and took offense with Mrs. T saying Booker would be the next WWE Champion. Mrs. T got in Angle’s face and reminded him that he lost to Eddie Guerrero at WrestleMania last year. She yelled an inch from his face, “Can you dig that, sucka!” She is money. Great mic work and camera presence.
[Commercial Break]
-Paul London walked out to the ring. They replayed his bloody win last week. Cole put him over for having a lot of heart. London said doctors refuse to let him wrestle tonight. He said he doesn’t want to wrestle, he wants to fight. He called out Chavo Guerrero for attacking him from behind last week after he beat Kidman. Chavo then came out. Chavo said London’s loss of blood last week is affecting his thinking. He said he has never defeated him, but as soon as he is healthy, he will beat him again. He said he has too much honor to wrestle an injured man. Kidman then attacked London from behind. London not only KO’d Kidman, but also fended off an attack by Chavo. London then gave Kidman his 450 splash. London challenged Chavo to come get him. Chavo said he wouldn’t fight him for free.
-The Raw Rebound aired.
-Highlights aired of happenings from earlier in the show.
-They plugged next week’s TV main event of Big Show vs. Booker T.
5 — KURT ANGLE vs. EDDIE GUERRERO – Title Shot Tourney Match
Angle came out to the ring for the TV main event first followed by Guerrero in his bouncy car. A loud chant of “Angle sucks” rang out in the arena in the opening minute as Guerrero and Angle circled each other and entered into various lock-ups. Cole talked about “freedom of expression,” which always sounds hypocritical considering the number of WWE staffers whose sole job during these tapings is to seek out and confiscates signs that don’t meet WWE’s approval. Tazz said the match felt like “a WrestleMania moment, only it’s not WrestleMania.” Guerrero went for a Frog Splash at 5:00, but Angle rolled out of the ring. Guerrero flipped onto his back safely when he saw Angle moving.
[Commercial Break]
Returning from the break, Angle was in control with a series of uppercuts in the corner at 9:00. Angle went for an Angle Slam, but Guerrero countered with a huracanrana. Guerrero scored a two count, then grabbed a chair from ringside. Guerrero threw a chair into Angle’s hands, hoping the ref would turn and see him holding it. In a funny spot, they threw it back and forth to each other, then Guerrero fell onto his back as the ref turned around.
As the ref admonished Angle for apparently KO’ing Guerrero with the chair, Guerrero scooped up Angle from behind for a schoolboy two count. Guerrero gave Angle two punches and Angle took two great flat-back bumps, which can’t be good for his neck at this point. Guerrero then gave Angle a spinning head scissors. Angle fired back with a quick German suplex and a two count. They slowed down at 13:00 with a bodyscissors by Angle. Guerrero came back and went for a frog splash. Angle lifted his knees and caught Guerrero, then scored a near fall which Guerrero broke up with a foot on a rope.
[Commercial Break]
Guerrero turned an Angle Slam attempt into a DDT. Cole pointed out that was the third time Guerrero countered Angle Slam attempts. Guerrero won a mid-ring slugfest and then clotheslined Angle to the mat. He followed with his Three Amigos series of suplexes. Angle countered the third suplex with a quick Angle Slam.
Cole said it was over, so viewers knew Guerrero was kicking out. He did. Angle dropped his strap. Guerrero immediately small packaged him for a near fall. Guerrero then schoolboyed Angle for a near fall. Angle went into an unreleased German suplex series. After three, he scored a near fall. Guerrero countered another Angle Slam attempt into an armdrag followed by a successful Three Amigos series. He let out a barbaric yelp to the crowd, then hit the frog splash for a near fall at 23:00.
Angle went for a quick anklelock, but Guerrero countered. Guerrero went for a sunset flip, then yanked down the back of Angle tights which drew laughs from the crowd. Guerrero went for a small package for a near fall. The ref counted even though they were in the ropes. Angle went for an Anklelock. Guerrero spun out of it, but Angle held on. Guerrero struggled for several seconds and then flipped out of it, knocking Angle into the ref. The ref spilled to the floor.
Angle brought a chair into the ring. Rey Mysterio stopped him from using it. Angle bailed out. Mysterio walked up to Guerrero, who saw Rey with the chair and cowered. He begged Rey not to hit him. Rey said he didn’t plan to hit him. Angle shoved Rey and the chair into Guerrero. The ref returned and Angle scored the pin. In a cool, subtle production touch, after Cole and Tazz signed off and the screen faded to the WWE logo, the audio stayed with Guerrero expressing frustration with Mysterio inside the ring for a few seconds.
WINNER: Angle at 25:40.
STAR RATING: ****1/4 — Absolutely great PPV main event caliber match. The finish cleverly played into the ongoing storyline with Guerrero and Mysterio.
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