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The following report originally published 20 years ago this week here at PWTorch.com.
WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW REPORT
JANUARY 2, 2006
EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J.
REPORT BY WADE KELLER, EDITOR
-The show opened with blasts of pyro, then Joey Styles, Coach, and Jerry Lawler introducing the show. They plugged that they would have amateur footage later of Ric Flair’s actual road rage incident. They showed a freeze-frame of Flair in his pink robe leaning into a driver in a car.
-Lilian Garcia introduced Vince McMahon. He walked to the ring and reminded viewers of his vow to not take crap from anybody anymore. He said after what Shawn Michaels said to him about growing up and moving on, he should have spit on him and fired his ass on the spot. (I still wonder who told Vince that backstage two weeks ago, inspiring this storyline angle.) “No more Mr. Nice Guy,” he said. “From now on, it’s all about me” (copyright Raven). He said he booked a match for his own amusement.
1 — KANE vs. SHAWN MICHAELS
Kane came out first. It was a mystery who his opponent would be. McMahon remained in the ring, standing next to Lilian, waiting for Kane’s arrival inside the ring. Michaels then was introduced. Coach laughed. McMahon said there is a special stipulation, which is if Michaels uses the superkick, he’ll be DQ’d. Lawler said he saw McMahon backstage and he said, “Happy me year.” Styles said he doesn’t know how Michaels came make up for the size difference without use of his superkick. Well, there’s the top rope elbow, which worked for Randy Savage. There’s the sharpshooter (which he has used before), which worked for Bret Hart. And any of a dozen other finishers that he has used over the years. This is a bit of a stretch for WWE to try to make viewers buy into the idea that Michaels is completely reliant on his superkick to win matches. Michaels dove onto Kane at ringside. McMahon walked up to Michaels and distracted him, giving Kane a chance to recover and then surprise Michaels with a clothesline on the floor. As they cut to a break, Styles asked, “How can Michaels defeat Kane without Sweet Chin Music? How can he possibly do it?!”
[Commercial Break]
Styles asked Lawler what he’d do if McMahon banned him from using the piledriver. Lawler said go to plan B or C. Meanwhile, Coach learned that Lawler’s finisher during his decades headlining was a piledriver. The announcers, who were sitting at ringside not on the stage, continued to talk about McMahon’s zero tolerance policy. Kane went for a chokeslam, but it ended up botched as Michaels apparently wasn’t on the same page as Kane as his legs his the mat rather than going flat-back. Michaels nipped up and gave Kane a DDT for a near fall. They showed repeated close-ups of McMahon reacting to the action. Michaels hit a neckbreaker.
This was the point where Michaels would go for the superkick, but he realized he couldn’t. Michaels shook his head in frustration. He charged at Kane, but Kane gave him a big boot. Kane followed with a top rope flying clothesline, but Michaels ducked and then hit Kane with two clotheslines of his own. Styles astutely noted that Michaels actually leaped in the air a bit to gain extra momentum.
Michaels then hit the signature top rope elbow. He looked at McMahon at ringside as he contemplated using the superkick. Michaels stomped the mat anyway as McMahon grabbed the house mic and told him, “Go ahead, do that. Not only will you lose this match, but you’ll be out of the Elimination Chamber this Sunday.” That distraction gave Kane a chance to surprise Michaels with a chokeslam and score the pin.
WINNER: Kane at 14:10.
STAR RATING: **1/4 — Solid match. As much of a stretch as it is that Michaels can’t win a match without the superkick, it did put over the finisher as more important than ever and add a storyline to a match that was played out well.
-McMahon walked toward the back and met Todd Grisham. He whispered something to Grisham, then sent Grisham to the ring.
[Commercial Break]
-Grisham interviewed Michaels at ringside and informed him that he’ll be the first entrant in the Elimination Chamber on Sunday. He said, “You do know the number one entrant has never won an Elimination Chamber match?” Michaels said nothing and limped to the back.
-Coach said Michaels has his work cut out for him. He then said that Gregory Helms has a beef with Lawler. A clip aired of Helms saying that somebody is trying to hold him down. He said Lawler has been bad-mouthing him and it’s not funny at all. He said he is going to shut him up. Coach laughed and said Helms just punked him. Lawler said if Helms needs to find out what’s wrong with his career, he just needs to look in the mirror. Helms then walked out and accused Lawler of hiding behind his announcer table.
He said unlike Lawler, if he has something to say, he says it face-to-face. He said if there’s some spring left in the King, step into the ring. Lawler did. They had a staredown. Helms said, “When I was the hurricane, you had a joke a minute. If anybody should be made fun of for looking ridiculous and being a joke, it’s you.” Lawler said, “At least when you were Hurricane and had that costume, you were half-way entertaining. Now you’re not a hurricane, you’re not even a tropical depression; you’re just a guy who sucks.” Helms slapped Lawler. Lawler punched Helms. Lawler then challenged Helms to a match at New Year’s Resolution.
[Commercial Break]
-Kurt Angle and Daivari spoke with McMahon backstage. Angle said he doesn’t want to be G.M., he just wants to be sure the ref isn’t biased against him. McMahon said the troops want to see him get his ass kicked. Angle said the troops suck. McMahon said he doesn’t care who it is, but he wants to see somebody bleed badly. Angle said he’d give McMahon his wish by sending Cena to the hospital.
He said he agrees with McMahon’s zero tolerance policy. He said he isn’t going to take any crap, either. He vowed to make Michaels tap out on Sunday. Then Mickie James walked up to McMahon and began explaining that, regarding last week’s incident, she looked up to Trish Stratus. They cut away mid-sentence to the announcers who were shown on camera more this week than in years. They debated whether the kiss was creepy. Styles said it would have been okay if Trish was a willing party. They went to a clip of the kiss.
-Grisham interviewed Trish backstage, running stairs to work up sweat. She said what happened last week made her “feel a little uncomfortable.” She said she’s been champion over a year and is prepared for the match on Sunday. Trish said she doesn’t know what she’s trying to do. She said she had to hit the showers. You know what’s coming later.
[Commercial Break]
-They showed Maria hosting the “Kiss Cam” for WWE.com’s webcast of Raw. When a couple is shown on the big screen, they’re supposed to kiss. Several couples kissed. Styles said the crowd loves when Maria hosts that segment. Victoria, with Torrie Wilson and Candice Michelle, taunted and insulted Maria. Then she informed her that she is so dumb she probably didn’t know they had a match scheduled against each other. Maria didn’t know.
2 — MARIA vs. VICTORIA
Maria won with a roll-up in a surprise upset. Then the three heel women attacked Maria, stripping her to her very small, tight panties and stomped and spanked her. Ashley made the save, but she ended up being outnumbered, too.
WINNER: Maria at 1:30.
STAR RATING: 1/4* — It wasn’t about the wrestling, then, was it?
-They showed Edge and Lita approaching the entrance with sh– eating grins on their faces. Styles said the footage of the “alleged road rage incident” would be shown next.
[Commercial Break]
-Styles said that during commercial breaks, viewers don’t need to change channels, they can switch to WWE.com and watch what happens during the breaks. They went to a clip of Vince McMahon telling Maria and Ashley that at New Year’s Revolution, he wants to see the women in the first-ever bra and panties gauntlet match. He then checked out the women’s asses as they walked away. [NOTE: If you regularly watch the WWE.com version of Raw and are willing to send us a report after Raw each week of highlights, please drop me an email.]
-Backstage, they showed Trish showering behind a curtain. Mickie took her towel. Trish reached for it, but it wasn’t there. Mickie said she’d been trying to talk to her all week. Trish asked for the towel. Mickie handed her the towel, but added, “Nice boobs.” Trish covered up better and told her to get out. Styles speculated that Mickie was just playing mind games, but he wasn’t sure that it wasn’t something else.
-Edge and Lita walked out onto the interview stage. This was the same camera angle used for Kid Kash’s promo last week on Smackdown. It’s a really nice change of scenery which WWE has needed for years as the in-ring promo format has grown stale and all too familiar. The crowd in the background looked impressive with the upper deck lit up and as full as the lower deck behind Edge.
Edge said everything he says about Flair is the truth. He said he has some video footage to show. It was a clip of Edge driving a car, wearing a Flair wig, and shouting “woo woo woo woo.” He pulled his car over and walked up to another car and yelled at a driver. He kept whoo’ing. The driver asked what his problem was. “My problem is I care about me! Who in the hell do you think you are cutting me off!” The driver apologized, but Edge yanked him out of the car, chopped him, and poked him in the eye. He then put him in the figure-four leglock. “All I care about is me! I’m the Nature Boy. Just ask Tully, just ask Arn, just ask Ole.” What about Paul Roma?
Back live, Edge said the fans are laughing at him, whether it’s over his road rage incident or his divorce. Lita added, “We hope she takes everything you’ve got.” Edge said Sunday at New Year’s Revolution, he’s going to “rescue the U.S. Heavyweight Title away from his pathetic, useless life.” Flair then came out and attacked Edge. In the ring, Flair hit Edge with a barrage of punches. He then set up the figure-four, but Lita jumped Flair from behind and applied a sleeper. Flair flipped Lita over and put her in the figure-four.
Edge had been retreating to the back, but he saw what was going on in the ring, paused, and then decided to make the save. Flair released the hold. Lita rolled out of the ring and ran to Edge.
[Commercial Break]
ARTICLE CONTINUED BELOW…
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-A segment aired on Stacy on “Dancing with the Stars.”
3 — SHELTON BENJAMIN vs. CHRIS MASTERS
Coach said he likes that Shelton has a chip on his shoulder now about his losing streak. Masters dominated early and won cleanly with the Master Lock. The announcers talked about how Shelton may be the best pure athlete in WWE, but that athletics isn’t enough.
WINNER: Masters at 4:33.
STAR RATING: * — That could be a PPV main event match-up a few years from now
[Commercial Break]
-They showed John Cena being recognized and complimented by a couple members of the Pittsburgh Steelers backstage at a recent WWE event. They talked about appreciating and respecting what kind of athlete and performer Cena is.
-Triple H walked to the ring. He said if he tells fans something is going to happen, “you can bet your ass it’s going to happen.” He said he takes advantage of any situation, including contract signings. He introduced a segment that would refresh fans’ memories about what he did last week during the contract signing. A clip aired of Big Show trash talking Hunter. They went back to Hunter who said that wasn’t the clip he was expected, “but that’s life TV, so what the hell, I’ll wing it.” He cut a promo vowing to beat Big Show at the PPV.
“The bigger they are, the harder they fall,” he said. I can’t believe he said that. Who would think that cliche is worth ever saying anymore? Big Show then came out to his music. Show went after Hunter at ringside. Hunter swung a chair at Show. Show blocked it with his cast. Then he bashed a monitor with it, and when the monitor hit the ground, it began sparking. Styles said that Hunter attacking Show’s hand last week has worked against him because the cast was now a sledgehammer that Show can use against Hunter in their match at the PPV. Hunter fled. Another good job promoting the PPV match.
-Smackdown Rebound aired.
[Commercial Break]
-Shelton Benjamin’s “mother” scolded him backstage for losing so much. She fits the description WWE was looking for when they sent out a casting call last month for the person to play that role.
-The announcers previewed Sunday’s NYR PPV line-up.
[Commercial Break]
-As John Cena walked to the ring for the main event, the announcers talked about how McMahon wants to see someone bleed profusely. “Mr. McMahon scares me sometimes,” said Styles. Cena rapped about the Elimination Chamber. Regarding Masters, he said: “I’ve got your key. You aren’t not threat to me. Chris Masters can’t even spell WWE. He has a body that makes people say ‘Oh my god,’ but his masterpiece is smaller than the Nano iPod.”
He said about Carlito he bites apples on TV, but bites pillows at home. He said his head looks like a ’70s porn star. He defended the troops by saying, “They risk their lives in Iraq, and you can’t even find your nut sack.” He added: “I’ll put you on all fours. They found Saddam in one hole. I’ll shove Daivari up yours.”
[Commercial Break]
4 — JOHN CENA vs. KURT ANGLE (w/Daivari) — First Blood Match
The match was joined in progress after the break. Daivari interfered, tripping Cena off the ropes, to help give Angle a sustained early advantage. There was one point where Cena covered his forehead. Styles wondered if he was cut. He wasn’t. Daivari interfered at 5:00 to stop a Cena comeback.
Angle applied an anklelock. With the ref down, Cena picked up a chair. Angle begged off. Daivari jumped Cena. As Cena went after Daivari, Angle smashed Cena with the chair. Cena came up bleeding heavily. Cena made a comeback and applied the STFU. Angle tapped, but the ref was still out. Angle’s face was covered in Cena’s bleed. The ref called for the bell, but awarded the match to Angle because it was obviously Cena’s blood.
WINNER: Angle in 9:00 (est. due to match joined in progress)
STAR RATING: *** — Short for a grudge match TV main event, but good. The super-intense crowd heat really added to the match.
-After the match, Carlito and masters attacked Cena. Angle then stepped in and applied the anklelock, trying to soften Cena for the PPV match. Masters then put Angle in the Masterlock. Styles said there is no honor among thieves. Then Kane’s pyro signalled his entrance. He walked to the ring. Masters called for Kane. Kane immediately chokeslammed Masters. Then he chokeslammed Carlito. Angle took a big boot, then Kane chokeslammed Daivari. Michaels came out and superkicked Kane. Cena came back to life long enough to surprise a celebrating Michaels with an FU. That drew some boos. The show ended with Cena’s music playing, but a close-up of Cena’s face covered in blood.
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