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Every Great Man Deserves To Be Humbled: McNEILL previews ROH’s Best In The World 2016 pay-per-view!
Wake the pets and call the neighbors. It’s time for our semi-monthly ROH pay-per-view preview column!
DISCLAIMER: Projections are made by myself and for myself with absolutely no assistance from Joe Koff, Nigel McGuinness, or The Man With The Lizard Face. Projections are not predictions, because this is the column where everything’s made up and the points don’t matter. This preview has been sealed in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnall’s porch since noon today. Closed captioning is provided by America Online. Some of our departing contestants will receive a supply of Right Guard by Gillette. Right Guard, because men perspire more. Remember, this is only an exhibition. This is not a competition. Please, please, no wagering. This lineup is based on the best available information as of this writing. These predictions are based on what the columnist would do if he had creative control over ROH, unless a better one-liner comes along.
Seriously, have you seen the “Dueling Promos” commercial for tonight’s show? It’s awesome. And Jay Briscoe is right. He’s been waiting a year for his re-match at the ROH World Title. Is that bad booking or genius booking? We’ll find out this weekend.
And without further ado, let’s roll right into this month’s Wrestling History Lesson. Twenty years ago, on June 1, 1996. Extreme Championship Wrestling held its “Fight The Power” event from Viking Hall in South Philadelphia. This show featured some big matches, including the Dudley Boyz taking on the Full Blooded Italians of J.T. Smith & Little Guido. Joey Styles had the call. Good times.
And, as your free gift for viewing this column, let’s take you back to June 17th, 2006 for ROH’s “In Your Face” show from Manhattan, New York. On that show, we saw the big grudge match between B.J. Whitmer and Jimmy Jacobs. (And no, I don’t know why ROH doesn’t have the rights to air “The Ballad of Lacey” on its YouTube channel. Dave Prazak and “Mister” Jared David had the call.
Also, ROH has provided a web exclusive bout from the “War Of The Worlds” tour. It’s Will Ferrara taking on Kamaitachi from May 9 in Dearborn, Michigan. Our friend Ian Riccaboni has the call.
On with the projections!
I have no idea what the dark match will be for this show, but I hope Donovan Dijak is involved.
A.C.H. vs. Silas Young: I’m more excited about Silas & Beer City Bruiser going for the tag titles at tomorrow’s TV taping than I am for this match. Projection? A.C.H. wins it with the Big Bang Attack.
Kyle O’Reilly vs. Kamaitachi: As big as the Jay versus Jay bout is, a lot of Ring of Honor fans ar looking forward to KOR’s challenge for main title. O’Reilly may actually be the best wrestler in the world. Projection? Kyle wins by submission with the anklelock.
Mark Briscoe vs. Roderick Strong: It’s never good news when Ring of Honor loses a guy known as Mister ROH. But it makes this match earlier to project. Projection? Mark Brisoce wins with the Cut-Throat Driver. Thank you, Roddy.
Moose & War Machine vs. Adam Cole & The Young Bucks: Our last pay-per-view ended with the Bullet Club taking over the show and beating up everyone. There may not be enough Bullet Club members to make it happen this time. Projection? Cole pins Moose with the Florida Key. Farewell, Mister Moose.
Steve Corino vs. B.J. Whitmer (Fight Without Honor): The Angle That Wouldn’t End is finally about to end. Projection? The King of Old School wins with the Sliding C and reunites with his son Colby. What happens to B.J. Whitmer? Don’t care.
Bobby Fish vs. Dalton Castle (ROH Television Title): In his defense, I feel obligated to point out that the guy in Diet Dr. Pepper commercials is NOT Dalton Castle. Projection: The challenger eats a Flying Fish Hook, and the Fish rules North Carolina tonight.
The Addiction vs. Motor City Machine Guns (ROH Tag Team Titles): Should The Addiction be the full-time reigning ROH World Tag Team Champions? Probably not. Are they ideal for the role of transitional tag team champions? You betcha. Projection? Frankie Kazarian encounters a Made In Detroit, and the Machine Guns finally capture the Ring of Honor World Tag Team Titles.
Jay Lethal vs. Jay Briscoe (ROH World Title): One year after their last colossal singles match, it’s time for Jay and Jay to get together again. Projection? Lethal wins old school with a dragon suplex. The Bullet Club hits the ring after the match, but Mark Briscoe and War Machine keep King Cole and the gang from taking over again.
Aftermath: The next pay-per-view is Death Before Dishonor. There’s nothing like August in Las Vegas, with the possible exception of Sunday afternoon in hell. Let’s say Jay Lethal vs. O’Reilly vs. Cole, and the Briscoes battling the Motor City Machine Guns. We’ll see you then.
Pat McNeill of Greenville, South Carolina has been a Torch columnist since February 2001. He’d take the Los Angeles Dodgers to defeat the Pittsburgh Pirates in tonight’s MLB Network baseball game. You know, if gambling were legal.