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MAYHEM ON THE MILL IV
APRIL 28, 2019
ORLANDO, FLA. AT MILLS PUB
REPORT BY TOM STOUP, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR
Estimated attendance: 250
Billed as “Mills Gets a Champ” and presented by Total Punk, the outdoor event took place at 3 p.m. EST. To hype the event, video of three matches from March’s Mayhem on Mills III was premiered at the weekly, Busch-sponsored “Turnbuckle Tuesday” viewing party at Will’s Pub (a/k/a Will’s Sportsatorium) on April 23.
Gino & the Goons played a set before bell time, the lead singer encouraging the crowd to “cut a rug” and “boogie-woogie.”
The emcees entered to The Beatles’ “Birthday” in honor of the promotion’s anniversary, welcomed the “over capacity crowd of wrestlemaniacs” and introduced their officials Kent and Tony by name. They showed off the new title belt that would be won in the main event. NXT official D.A. Brewer could be spotted in the crowd.
(1) Serpentico pinned “The Oracle” Sir Rios. Effective opener with plenty face/heel tit for tat building to lucha high spots. At one point Rios tried to remove Serpentico’s mask but Serpentico fought out of the predicament. Serpentico kicked out of a package piledriver in the closest near fall. He won with a Frankensteiner combined with a Swanton, and the wrestlers hugged after the bell.
Teddy Stigma handed out free “sunscreen for the people.”
(2) Beastly Brody defeated Wolfe Taylor via disqualification. Originally advertised as a Punk Pro Internet Championship shot for Brody against the champion Drennen (who refused to defend his title at the event as detailed in match 4). As the match was reaching its climax Wolfe hit Brody with a low blow for the DQ. Wolfe sent Brody through a door he’d set up in the turnbuckle after the bell. Wolfe went for the chain Brody had worn to the ring as a necklace but wrestlers from the back including KiLynn King ran in for the save.
(3) Saieve al Sabah & Treehouse Lee defeated the Metro Brothers via pinfall. The Metros antagonized fans, and got the drop on al Sabah and Lee before the bell. They isolated al Sabah, and took advantage of the official. Chris shouted, “This is how we stack the Ws!” Lee got the hot tag and went to work on Chris, then launched himself over the top rope on to both Metros. Lee took out Chris, busting him open on the ringpost as al Sabah rallied to get the win over JC. As the victors celebrated, Chris & JC accepted a Busch can from a fan, drank from it, then sprayed it in to the crowd.
(4) Barrington Hughes (promoted as “in action”) pinned Drennen to retain the Full Throttle Pro Wrestling Championship. Drennen ridiculed the crowd, and said he would not put his Punk Pro Internet Championship on the line in front of them. He cited having main-evented the first Mayhem on Mills event in a match that had spilled on to the street, and said he wants to wrestle someone new. Barrington Hughes entered for his Mayhem debut, and said if Drennen won’t put his title on the line, Hughes will put his own on the line. He said he’d even put his payday and future bookings on the line. He said when he wins, he wants it to earn him a shot at Drennen’s title. Hughes dominated until Drennen went for an eye poke, but Drennen’s subsequent cross body simply bounced off the mass of Hughes. Hughes hit an impactful Uranage and demanded the official count to five for the win.
(5) Snoop Strikes (AKA Kotto Brazil, with Sawyer Wreck) pinned Hunter Law. Hometown boy Strikes rode in on Wreck’s shoulders, denying fans hi-fives. He cursed at and harassed the crowd and said the Orlando Magic won’t do anything in the playoffs. He said the only reason he came back to Mayhem on Mills is because they’re finally paying him “TV money” he deserves after appearing on multiple televised wrestling shows (IE MLW Fusion). Furious with the crowd interrupting him, Strikes introduced his escort (who told him not to call her “bae”). Strikes suffered a gnarly gash above his patched right eye when Law hurled him in the ring post at the very beginning of the match. The official checked on him, and ringside personnel prepared their first aid kit, but Strikes carried on without restraint. Law countered a springboard in to a lumbar check, which sent Strikes’ eyepatch flying as if Chuck Jones had been animating the maneuver. As Strikes created a distraction by wiping blood on the official’s shirt, Wreck slipped in and chokeslammed Law. Strikes hit a frog splash for the win.
The ring crew sprayed antiseptic on the bloody ropes between matches. Drennen slipped out to say something to the emcees and got heartily booed when spotted. The emcees encouraged the crowd to chant “Holy mackerel” and “Mom.”
(6) Fabulous Fitness (“The Fabulous” Kiki Roberts & Big Kahuna Khan) defeated Mad Broke (KiLynn King & Milo Beasley, w/“Honey Bunny” Roger) via pinfall. To mock King’s bunny (and Beasley’s own stuffed bear), Khan & Roberts entered with their own stuffed animals “Kid Khan” the dolphin and “Kid Kiki” the unicorn as Olivia Newton-John’s “Let’s Get Physical” played. Roberts announced that despite how fabulous he and Khan are, Florida has not approved them to become adoptive parents so the stuffed animals would be on sale at the merch table after the event. When King tagged in, Khan said, “I don’t like hitting women, but I will hit a bitch!” King sidestepped and spanked him in response. Fabulous Fitness consoled themselves with their stuffed animals on the outside, but Mad Broke threw their own stuffed animals from the top to knock the team down. Behind the official’s back Khan hit a low blow, then did a few lunges. Some fans chanted “holy mackerel.” Khan criticized the official by saying, “This is you,” then counting to three with exaggerated yawns between the numbers. The official shoved Khan, who was tripped by Beasley for a near fall. Roberts tagged in and showed off with some squats. With each squat he shouted, “Squats!” King got the hot tag and began battering Roberts, eventually nailing a suspended suplex. Roberts responded with a powerslam and said, “That’s why she belongs in the kitchen!” Roberts threatened to put “Honey Bunny” Roger in his trunks, then threw the stuffed animal over the entrance and to the back. King terrified him with a scream, then hit a Thesz press on both he and Khan. She then went to retrieve her friend. The solitary Beasley got Khan back with a low blow, but Fabulous Fitness won with a high-low. To celebrate Roberts made his unicorn dance with kids in the crowd, and Khan had fans hi-five his dolphin. King then returned with Roger, confused as to why the match wasn’t still going on. Beasley left, shaking his head while King pleaded for forgiveness.
(7) Troy Hollywood defeated Effy & Teddy Stigma to become the inaugural Mills Champion. “New Level” by A$AP Ferg played Hollywood to the ring. Effy entered to Elton John’s “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” with his pet pit bull on a leash, and was announced from “Talla-sassy,” Florida as “Everyone’s favorite daddy.” The dog began eagerly soaking in affection from young fans near the entrance. Effy started by offering himself up for a chop as Hollywood demanded silence. Hollywood denied the crowd their satisfaction and joined them to take the role of observer. Stigma chopped Effy as Effy demanded more. Hollywood rolled in to try a chop, but hurt his hand and dashed back out to the crowd. Effy and Stigma followed and the wrestlers brawled among the fans. Hollywood snuck away to bring a garbage can lid in to the action. Effy took the lid to Hollywood, who spat beer as he reeled. Stigma hit a cross body over the top rope on to both opponents. Hollywood scraped Stigma’s eyes as Stigma lifted him in a fireman’s carry. Stigma launched Effy in to a famouser on Hollywood. Hollywood rammed Stigma in to the corner and stood on his back to superplex Effy. As Stigma grabbed doors from beneath the ring the fans chanted “We want tables,” to which he chanted in return, “Close enough.” He powerbombed Effy in to a door propped in the turnbuckle before Hollywood dropkicked him in to another door for a near fall. Effy hit a cutter on Hollywood and rolled it in to a modified crossface before getting DDTed out of the hold by Stigma. Hollywood stuffed Stigma in to a garbage can and double-stomped him from the top turnbuckle for a pinfall attempt that was broken up by Effy. Hollywood rolled Effy up for the win. Effy grabbed a mic and said, “Cut the music,” then demanded Hollywood listen. Effy listed the many states he’s been working, and that no matter where he is he always sees wrestlers being too worried what Twitter has to say about their matches. He said when he stopped listening to those wrestlers, and to “the big producers with the big TV contracts,” he saw that the fans who actually show up to the events have a good time. He said beating the hell out of each other in front of drunk fans is better than wrestling to get a high “star” rating. He credited Stigma with having healed from a 9-month layoff due to a knee injury, then getting his face stomped in by Hollywood. Hollywood checked on Stigma and Stigma comically said, “I’m just gonna sit here.” Effy continued, saying he doesn’t care that he lost, and that if the fans had a good time he’s done his job. Stigma briefly congratulated Hollywood. Hollywood took the mic and said he feels like crying. He said the fans’ reactions mean a lot, and when the fans chanted for him in return he said, “Stop it before I turn heel.” He said he doesn’t care what anyone is or what they identify as – white, Mexican, black, neanderthal, or dog. He hi-fived fans on his way out.
The emcees announced Mayhem on Mills V for June 30th, and introduced The Hibachi Stranglers for their set. Wrestlers mingled with fans and attended merch tables as the Stranglers played. Fabulous Fitness quickly sold their stuffed animals for $30.