SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
AEW DARK TV REPORT
MARCH 10, 2020
TAPED 2/29 IN DENVER, COLO
AIRED LIVE ON YOUTUBE.COM
REPORT BY ZACH GRAHAM, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR
Commentators: Excalibur, Taz
Host: Tony Schiavone, Dasha Gonzalez
– Excalibur and Taz shown at the commentary table, the two immediately ran down the lineup for the show including Jimmy Havoc vs. Severino Corrente, Abadon vs. Hikaru Shida, Brandon Cutler & Sonny Kiss vs. Private Party, and Kip Sabian & Peter Avalon vs. Jurassic Express. Excalibur then introduced Justin Roberts for the ring introductions ahead of the first match.
(1) JURASSIC EXPRESS (w/Marko Stunt) vs. PETER AVALON (w/Leva Bates) & KIP SABIAN (w/ Penelope Ford)
Kip Sabian and Luchasaurus started the match. Sabian immediately got in Luchasaurus’ face. Luchasaurus immediately attempted a choke slame, but as he lifted Sabian, Sabian back flipped out of his grasp. Sabian mocked Luchasaurus and was kicked back into his corner. Peter Avalon tagged in and Jungle Boy also tagged in. Jungle Boy dominated until Sabian tagged himself in. Jungle Boy took down both heels until he tried to tag in Luchasaurus. Avalon grabbed Luchasaurus by the ankle and pulled him off the apron. Avalon slowly made his way back to his corner and while the official was focusing on Avalon, Penelope Ford grabbed Jungle Boy by the ankle to help Sabian take control. Sabian and Avalon isolated Jungle Boy for a couple minutes. Avalon attempted a moonsault off the top rope, which gave Jungle Boy an opening to try and reach Luchasaurus, but Penelope Ford grabbed some of Leva Bates’ books and threw them across the ring at Luchasaurus. The referee inexplicably grabbed a book and began talking/scolding Luchasaurus, which allowed Sabian to sneak into the ring, hit Jungle Boy with an elbow drop, and roll him away from Luchasaurus.
Leva Bates and Penelope Ford were arguing when Marko Stunt walked over to them in an attempt to stop the fighting, but Ford and Bates shoved Marko into the ringside fence. Bates and Ford then started shoving each other. While all of this was happening, Avalon watched on in distraction, which allowed Jungle Boy to finally reach Luchasaurus off camera. Luchasaurus entered and hit Avalon and Sabian with a series of chops and round house kicks. Luchasaurus hit Avalon with a choke slam followed by a standing moonsault, but when he went for the cover, Kip Sabian interfered to stop the count at two. Sabian and Jungle Boy both tagged in and Jungle Boy cleared the ring of the heels. Luchasaurus entered, round house kicking Sabian off the ring apron and Jurassic Express hit Avalon with a slam/cutter combo for the win.
WINNER: Jurassic Express in 8:00
– Dasha Gonzalez and Tony Schiavone on screen, Schiavone was wearing a special Nightmare Family Pharaoh shirt. Gonzalez explained that, during the first two weeks of March, 20% of the proceeds from this Pharaoh shirt will go to Planned Pethood International. Gonzalez also said that, during the first two weeks of March, all adoption fees at Planned Pethood International are being paid for by AEW. Schiavone then threw it back to the announcers for the next match.
(2) SEVERINO CORRENTE vs. JIMMY HAVOC
As the match began, Taz and Excalibur talked about Jimmy Havoc’s wrestling background, noting he has a good technical wrestling background, including training with Zack Sabre Jr.
Havoc and Corrente locked up, but Havoc muscled Corrente back into the corner, then took control of the arm when they went to lock up a second time. Havoc grounded Corrente, put his boot on the side of his head while still having hold of his arm, then did some finger manipulation. Corrente punched Havoc, but Havoc encouraged him to hit him again a couple of times. Havoc quickly hit Corrente with a back elbow and took control again. Havoc put Corrente up on his shoulders, but Corrente raked the eyes to break free, which only seemed to amuse Havoc as he laughed it off. Corrente attacked Havoc in the corner, but as he charged at Havoc, Havoc hit him with a double stomp into the chest. Corrente suplexed Havoc into the corner, then put his finger in Havoc’s mouth, as Havoc did to him earlier in the match, but Havoc bit him. Havoc finished off Corrente with a series of moves including an elevated DDT, a rolling death valley driver, an upper cut, and finally an acid rainmaker clothesline for the win.
WINNER: Jimmy Havoc in 5:00
– As Jimmy Havoc backed up the ramp, Luther sprinted out of the back and taking Havoc down. Luther stomped away at Havoc, threw him into the ringside barricade and hit a DDT on the ramp.
– Schiavone and Gonzalez back to promote the upcoming AEW Dynamite tapings. Schiavone and Gonzalez plugged the Pharaoh Shirt again and ShopAEW.com before sending it back to Taz and Excalibur.
(3) ABADON vs. HIKARU SHIDA
Shida seemed hesitant to lock up with Abadon thanks to her horror movie look. The two eventually locked up in a test of strength. Abadon went to bite Shida, who let go and looked uneasy. Shida shoulder tackled Abadon, who immediately sat up on the mat like The Undertaker. Abadon knocked down Shida with a dropkick for a two count and again, Shida looked extremely uneasy. Abadon went to bite Shida again, but Shida stopped her with a kick to the stomach then suplexed Abadon. Abadon immediately bridged up and stared at Shida upside down while bridging. Abadon hit Shida with a DDT, choked her using the ropes, then licked Shida’s cheek for good measure. Shida fired back with a series of elbow strikes, then a running high knee strike to Abadon. Shida went for a crucifix pin, but Abadon kicked out at two. Shida immediately hit her with an elbow strike for another two count, then a knee to the back of the head for another two count. After another minute of back and forth action, Shida went for a running knee strike, but as she hit the ropes, Abadon let out a yell, which stopped Shida momentarily. After a brief pause, Shida continued to run at Abadon, hit her with the knee strike, and won the match.
WINNER: Hikaru Shida in 6:00
– Dasha Gonzalez approached Jimmy Havoc backstage and asked for his reaction to Luther attacking him after his match earlier and if he had any updates as to any injuries he may have. Havoc said he doesn’t know, but he’s always sore. He then looked directly into the camera and thanked Luther and said he knew he would do that. Luther then came out of door next to where Havoc was sitting and attacked him again and threw him into the concrete wall and stomped away at Havoc until four officials pulled him off of Havoc.
– The Librarians were walking backstage and said it was time to announce their book of the month. Leva began to introduce their book, when they walked up to Colt Cabana. Peter Avalon cut her off and said hello to Cabana. Avalon asked him if he was reading an audiobook, Cabana laughed and said no he’s listening to a podcast. Avalon went on a rant about millennials not wanting to read the classics. Cabana stood up and said “challenge.” Leva jumped in and yelled “challenge accepted” and the Librarians walked off while Cabana smiled and laughed. Leva Bates scurried back over, told Cabana she loved his podcast, then left again.
– Schiavone and Gonzalez back again, Schiavone reminded the audience that AEW Dynamite is in Salt Lake City, Utah tomorrow. He said last week on Dynamite we saw the arrival of Jake Roberts. Schiavone said that one thing you’re guaranteed each week on Dynamite is great wrestling action. Gonzalez jumped in and said you need to watch every week, because you never know who may show up. Schiavone then said it was time for the next match on AEW Dark.
(4) SONNY KISS & BRANDON CUTLER vs. PRIVATE PARTY (Isiah Kassidy & Marq Quen)
Brandon Cutler and Isaiah Kassidy started the match with Kassidy quickly taking control of Cutler, but the two exchanged holds. Marq Quen and Sonny Kiss blind tagged in and the four all went for simultaneous drop kicks that missed. Kiss dominated Quen for a moment, until Quen was able to shove Kiss into his corner where Kassidy kicked Kiss before tagging in. Private Party isolated Sonny Kiss for a moment with a series of tag team moves, but only managed two counts. Kiss finally managed to tag Cutler in after Private Party went for a suplex and played to the crowd, not realizing Kiss landed on his feet. Kiss slid between Private Party and tagged in Cutler.
Cutler immediately took out both members of Private Party with a spring board clothesline. Kassidy kicked Cutler to stop his momentum momentarily, but Cutler managed to fight off both members of Private Party for over three minutes. Cutler had both members of Private Party hanging between the top and middle ropes, which allowed him to hit a pair of leg drops on both before diving through the ropes and on to Marq Quen at ringside, then a spring board elbow drop on Isaiah Kassidy for a two count. Sonny Kiss entered the ring, kicked Kassidy out of the ring and onto the floor. Kiss went for a dive, but Private Party both stepped out of the way. Kiss stopped his momentum on the ropes, landed on the ring apron and kicked both members of Private Party across the chest. Kiss then turned, danced on the apron, then back flipped onto Marq Quen who stood there while Kiss danced. Sonny threw Kassidy back into the ring and scored a two count, but Quen interfered. Quen then dragged Kassidy over to their corner and tagged himself in. Quen then hit a standing moonsault onto Kiss, who was in the splits. Quen tagged Kassidy back in and the two hit a series of moves on Kiss including Quen hitting a standing moonsault while standing on Kiss, who was also in a submission hold at the hands of Kassidy.
Brandon Cutler interfered to save the match before a three count. Cutler entered the ring, but was not the legal man, and attacked Private Party. Cutler threw Kassidy over the top rope and Private Party appeared to be setting up their Silly String move, but Cutler stopped it. Cutler dropped Kassidy, then caught Marq Quen mid-air who jumped off the top rope. Cutler scrambled out of the ring, threw Sonny Kiss in, who made the cover for a two count. Kiss, standing on the middle turnbuckle in Private Party’s corner, went for a split leg drop, but Kassidy grabbed Kiss’ leg. Marq Quen entered, ran up Kassidy’s back and hit a step up enziguri on Kiss. Private Party then hit the Gin and Juice for the win.
WINNER: Private Party in 12:00
After the match, the newly formed Death Triangle (Pac & The Lucha Bros) attacked Private Party and Sonny Kiss and Brandon Cutler. Pac grabbed a microphone and told the fans there was no happy ending for them tonight. Pac then said if AEW continues to disrespect athletes of their caliber, they will get exactly what they asked for: Anarchy. Pac finished it by saying nobody is safe. Joey Janela ran out to try and help, but was quickly overwhelmed. Best Friends then ran down and Death Triangle retreated. Orange Cassidy then casually walked to the ring, holding his neck as if he was still in pain.
– Excalibur then thanked everyone for watching and signed off.
FINAL THOUGHTS: If you couldn’t tell based on the summary of the match, the main event was just filled to the brim with dumb spots. Private Party awkwardly dangling on the ropes while Cutler leg dropped them both, Sonny Kiss stopped to twerk on the ring apron while Marq Quen stood there just waiting for Kiss to stop, just awful. Private Party dropped a couple notches in my book with this one, it NEVER should have lasted as long as it did. Private Party is ranked 5th in the Tag Team rankings, but they couldn’t put away Sonny Kiss, who is 2-6 overall and 0-4 in 2020, and Brandon Cutler who is winless in AEW. If this were ranked like college sports, this would be a win that still dropped you in the rankings because, while you won, it shouldn’t have been as difficult or close.
I hate scary movies, so I’m pretty soft when it comes to that stuff so I’m not a good judge, but Abadon’s look is going to haunt me tonight. She looks infinitely more disturbing than The Fiend could ever hope to be. For the record, I don’t think The Fiend is meant to be an overly horrifying looking character, but it’s the only comparison I can think of. Abadon’s mask, paint, and contacts were legitimately unsettling for me. I encourage you to watch AEW Dark this week, even if it’s just to see this woman’s look because it’s certainly unique.
I’ll continue to point it out until something gets fixed: NO HYPE FOR DYNAMITE TOMORROW. There was a glimmer of hope when Schiavone and Gonzalez mentioned AEW Dynamite being in Salt Lake City for the second time, but then followed it up with nothing but generic commentary. No excuse. Even if they tape those transition segments in the afternoon before Dynamite, they can still find a way to edit together something to hype AEW Dynamite tomorrow. There’s no excuse for it and I’ll continue to point it out because it just doesn’t make sense to not promote your main product on a secondary, free show.