SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
BEING THE ELITE EP. 217 – “Gold, Man”
POSTED ON YOUTUBE.COM
AUGUST 10, 2020
REPORT BY ZACH GRAHAM, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR
Watch it here HERE.
– Chuck Taylor, Trent, and Orange Cassidy were standing outside. Taylor was holding a broom and showing Trent how he was going to use it to kill Brandon Cutler. Trent told him that would never work and held up a box cutter and said he can kill him with that because “it’s a real life razor blade.” Cassidy was holding a flashlight and shined it on them. They all walked over to Cutler. Cutler said he wanted to talk to them and apologized for being so weird last time he ran into them. He apologize to Cassidy because Cassidy offered him a piece of cake, but he ran away. The camera showed the knife behind Trent’s back as Cutler explained that he was seeing things because of his long travel day, which made him think something happened that didn’t. Trent and Taylor both agreed with him. Taylor awkwardly pointed out that there were a lot of people around and suggested Cutler go somewhere else. Cutler asked them if they have an idea for a BTE bit and Taylor said they’ll get one. Cutler said okay and slowly walked off. Taylor grabbed Trent’s shirt and pulled him in close while Cassidy shined the light down on them. Taylor said he can’t wait to kill that MFer and Trent held his knife up to the camera.
– Being the Elite open aired.
– A commercial for the AEW action figures aired featuring the Young Bucks.
– Matt and Nick were shown standing outside a Walmart wearing their masks. They said they’re at Walmart toy hunting. Matt said the figures have been out for a week and they’ve never even held them, apart from the initial demo model which was glued together for the commercials. Matt said they haven’t arrived in Southern California yet, but they’re in Jacksonville so they’re going to try to find them. They were shown walking the aisles and looking for their figures next to the WWE section, but couldn’t find them. Matt then admitted that they knew they were all sold out as they had a friend come to that Walmart the day before to see the whole set up and all the figures were already gone. Matt said they were hoping it had been refilled, but unfortunately it hasn’t. Matt said they even had a big display at the front of the store, but even that was completely gone.
– Matt and Nick were now in the bleachers at Daily’s Place. They talked about it being Tag Team Appreciation Night and said they’re wrestling Evil Uno and Stu Grayson. Nick said they haven’t worked with them in a while, but they’re looking forward to working with them again. They talked about wrestling them back in their PWG days.
– Alex Abrahantes introduced this week’s Speaking Spanglish. He said this week they’re bringing the audience inside a Spanish court room as allegations have been brought forward against Santana and Ortiz. He then introduced Dasha Gonzalez as the judge. Santana and Ortiz sat at a table and seemed concerned that she was the judge. Dasha asked the plaintiffs to start. Alex Marvez and Marko Stunt were shown, Marko was wearing clothes far too big for him and appeared to be standing on a chair to make himself taller than Marvez. Marvez, acting as Stunt’s lawyer, said the accusations by Santana and Ortiz have caused Stunt’s Tinder analytics to plummet. Dasha asked Santana and Ortiz to defend themselves. Ortiz slammed his hand on the table and yelled “Objection.” He admitted he’s always wanted to do that. Ortiz moved on and said the evidence will show he never got Tinder dates before this debacle anyway. Marvez objected and Marko stood on the table and yelled at Ortiz saying he used to get eight and a half swipes per day. Stunt and Ortiz argued, but Dasha yelled for order in the court. John Silver and Alex Reynolds appeared at the word “order” and tried to recruit Dasha. Dasha yelled for the bailiff and Rick Knox walked up in his referee attire and a mask and started counting for them to leave. They ran away as Knox chased them off. Ortiz said “it was just chisme” under his breath. Gonzalez heard him and said that’s just a part of their culture and she’s siding with the Latinos. She called the case closed and Santana and Ortiz celebrated. Ortiz asked if she wanted to hear some chisme about Marvez and she told him to come up and tell her. Santana and Ortiz walked up and started whispering about Marvez as he looked on frustrated. Alex Abrahantes started to close the segment out, but stopped while overhearing Santana, Ortiz, and Dasha talking behind him. Abrahantes ran back to join them as they talked about Marvez in Spanish.
– Nick and Matt Jackson were sitting in the EVP room and complained about it being messy and smelly. Christopher Daniels knocked on the door and asked if they’d seen Colt Cabana because he needed him for some coaching stuff. Nick said that’s a good question and they both said they haven’t heard from him. Daniels said it’s weird because he hasn’t been seen in a couple weeks. Daniels asked that they tell Cabana he’s looking for him if they find him and left. Nick and Matt sat there trying to think about Cabana when Nick got worried. Matt asked what’s going on and Nick suggested it may have been Kenny since he’s talked about murdering Cabana before and now he’s missing. Matt stood up and pointed to the ground in horror to a leather jacket and aviator sunglasses.
– Footage of Brandon Cutler at ringside was shown during the Young Bucks entrance during their match on Dynamite. Clips of the match were shown from his perspective as well including Nick’s roll up for the win.
– Christopher Daniels was wearing a suit with his back to the camera. He voiced over the video and said he knows what you’re thinking and some things are hard to explain, like if he Irish whips someone into the ropes, why do they bounce off and keep running? Daniels turned to the camera with a fake mustache and bushy eyebrows on. He said some things have easy explanations. He said he was going to talk about reverse mortgages, but it’s 2020 and nothing in wrestling is just a reverse anything anymore. So today he’s going to talk about the “poison mortgage.” He sat down in a chair and said a poison mortgage is a very simple proposition. If you’re over 50 you borrow money against the equity in your house and use that money to pay off a loan, your mortgage, or even some home improvements. He said the important thing is you still own your home. He stopped and reiterated what he said, as if he’d confused himself with the idea of getting a mortgage to pay off a mortgage. He started reading a piece of paper trying to understand the concept he just read. After a minute he said he should’ve studied it better. A fake company logo and phone number popped up and told viewers to call today for a free information kit.
– Matt Hardy walked up to Mike Posey, who seemed scared of him. Hardy apologized for attacking him. Hardy said it was uncalled for and said everywhere he’s been looking he sees Sammy Guevara and when that happens he just wants to destroy him. He asked Posey if he could forgive him and he said yes. Ryzin (from old Matt Hardy videos) put his hand on Hardy’s shoulder to tell him something and, without looking, Hardy put him in a choke hold and started yelling “I don’t die. I see red!” Hardy seemed to have a mental break as he yelled into the camera that Sammy doesn’t have the “mattributes” to destroy him. He looked down at Ryzin, called him an obsolete mule and dropped him to the floor. Ryzin looked up and told Hardy he’s not Sammy. Hardy seemed to come to again and asked if he knew him. Ryzin said yes, but Hardy said he doesn’t know anyone anymore as he walked away slowly.
– Matt Jackson was recording himself. He called Brandon Cutler. He said Brandon is “nerdy AF” and asked if he could do this week’s 50 plus for 50 plus this week. He said it doesn’t matter what it is, is just needs to be something slow and plotting. He stopped for a second as if Cutler were responding. Matt said “that’s a good idea, but I don’t think WWE is going to license out a Randy Orton match.” Matt then thanked Cutler who said he’d come up with something for this week.
Cutler was sitting at a table with Matt doing a voiceover. Matt told everyone to grab various items to build a computer as Cutler was shown tossing them onto the table. Matt excitedly said “we’re building a PC baby!” Cutler was shown putting the pieces into the motherboard. He told everyone to be careful with the gold pins on the CPU because you don’t want to break those pins. He said they can get broke up pretty easily, unlike a 5 star Young Bucks match. Matt voiced over Cutler building this PC and showing what steps to take, while make terrible wrestling puns and laughing at his own jokes. Matt congratulated everyone on building their own PC while Cutler gave two thumbs up.
– Silver and Reynolds were sitting next to each other looking dejected. Reynold said they need to get their act together. Silver agreed. Reynolds said they’re supposed to be recruitment specialists, but they haven’t gotten a single recruit. Silver asked who Reynolds thought they should go after and Reynolds pitched Jon Moxley. Silver seemed to like that idea and said he’s a huge Dark Order mark. Reynolds disagreed and reminded him that he beat them up a couple months ago. Silver proposed Tom Arnold and Reynolds said he was tough in Roseanne so maybe. Reynolds pitched Sinbad, Silver said Paulie Shore. Peter Avalon and Leva Bates popped up from underneath the table. Avalon said he heard they’re looking for recruits and smirked. Bates asked if he’s high or something. Avalon pushed her away so she backed off and started reading her book. Silver told Avalon that they have a lot of people right now and they only have a certain amount of masks… Silver complimented Avalon’s hair, but said Reynold’s is their hair guy and they only need one. Avalon argued their hair is different and said he’s in to join. Reynolds and Silver said no. Avalon tried convincing them to let him in. Silver said he doesn’t like Avalon at all and Reynolds said it’s true and Silver talks shit about Avalon all the time. Avalon still wasn’t getting the message so Silver started screaming “Peter you are dog shit!” over and over at him. Avalon still wasn’t getting the message and asked them not to tell Brandon. Reynolds said this conversation never happened and Avalon thanked them as if they were agreeing to keep it a secret. Silver and Reynolds walked away. From behind the camera Cutler said “what the hell.” Avalon seemed shocked Cutler was there and Cutler said he records BTE, of course he’s there. Avalon then crouched behind the table as if he disappeared. Cutler walked to the other side of the table to show that Avalon was still there. Avalon let out a laugh as the camera cut.
– Stu Grayson, Evil Uno, and Ten were standing together. Uno told Ten he made a fabulous point. Brodie Lee interrupted and said last week Uno felt the power of the papers in his hands. Uno said he can still feel it. Lee told him he f—ed it up. Uno held his head in shame. Lee handed Uno a roll of papers and asked him to show him his form. Uno took the roll, told Lee he’s been practicing, and threw them at the wall. Lee turned his back to Uno and whispered that he’s completely worthless. Lee handed Uno another roll and asked him to do it again. Uno threw them again and asked if that was good. Lee said yes as he rolled his eyes. Lee asked Uno to take the last roll of papers and hit whoever walks through the door next. Uno agreed and said he’s going to make him proud. Lee got Uno all fired up as he turned and threw the papers at Tony Schiavone who walked through the door. Schiavone looked at Uno and said “what the f—.” Lee yelled at Uno for being an idiot, he put his arm around Schiavone and they left. Uno turned back to Grayson and Ten, who shook their heads embarrassed for Uno.
– The camera had a bright yellow filter on it as Colt Cabana cried for medical attention. He walked past the EVP room and said he isn’t going in there. He walked into the training room and called for the doctor. Cabana said he doesn’t know, he just remembers there being a cake, an erection, a bell, and his face. Doc looked him up and down and said “Scotty, that’s a lot of gold, man.”
FINAL THOUGHTS:
– I popped for the Randy Orton joke. I’m sure people will find it petty, but I love these little jokes on both sides of the “battle.” Orton has earned the reputation of being slow and plotting so it’s not like Matt was wrong.
– I’m hoping this Kenny Omega “cleaner” tease is leading to something. He wasn’t on the show at all this week so it’s hard to tell. Part of me would be disappointed if Kenny goes heel soon after BTE teased it this much, but I still think it would be an incredible moment for fans, even if it was telegraphed.
– For those who may not have gotten the reference at the end, Scotty Goldman was Colt Cabana’s WWE name. Not sure where that’s going, but it’s a really good insider reference that took me a minute to catch. This show is really good at sneaking those in and it’s rewarding if you actually get the joke!
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