SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
The following report originally published 20 years ago this week here at PWTorch.com…
WWE FRIDAY NIGHT SMACKDOWN
JUNE 16, 2005
TAPED TUESDAY IN HERSHEY, PA.
BY WADE KELLER, PWTORCH EDITOR
-Michael Cole and Tazz introduced the show, hyping that the Draft Lottery would continue with the next wrestler switching tonight.
-JBL opened the show with a seven minute promo, with Orlando Jordan and the Bashams beside him. He said after a first-class spa treatment, he had the stench of ECW washed off of his body. He took credit for ECW’s PPV being a success. He then mocked the wrestlers of ECW for being promoted to the “front cash registers” or “assistant manager of their fast foot outlet.” He said “ECW superstar” is like “celibate priest” – the two words just don’t go together. He said their 15 minutes of fame is over. Tazz was silent. He said the ECW wrestlers can go back to parking his car or working as his doorman, “or doorwoman.” He said Smackdown fans better hope he doesn’t get drafted to Raw or that’s the end of Smackdown’s ratings. He said he is Mr. Smackdown and a Wrestling God. When he previewed the first match , he pretended not to know the difference between Doug and Danny and said, “Aw, they look the same anyway.”
1 — CHRIS BENOIT vs. DOUG BASHAM
Benoit through some mean chops at 4:30 that made Daniel Puder feel lucky. Benoit signalled for the top rope headbutt, but Danny knocked him off balance on the top rope. Benoit then absorbed a Doug superplex for a two count at 6:00. Benoit yanked Doug’s leg and shifted into a leverage pin victory with his crotch in Doug’s face that would have made Rico proud. We’ll call that the “69” as opposed to the “619.”
WINNER: Benoit at 6:36.
STAR RATING: *1/4 — Nice short TV match.
-When the Cabinet attacked Benoit, the lights went out and Undertaker appeared inside the ring. He cleared the ring of JBL’s men as JBL retreated. Jordan appears to be auditioning for an honorary Killer Bee membership with his current ring outfit. JBL complained that Smackdown is his show and “who do you think you are.” Teddy Long walked out and told him, “I’ll tell you who you are. He is the man who is going to be facing you in the main event tonight in a no DQ match.” Cole touted that it’s the first time since WrestleMania that Undertaker is wrestling.
[Commercial Break]
2 — EDDIE GUERRERO vs. PAUL “DENNY BROWN” LONDON
They showed clips of him interrupting the Cruiserweight Title match last week. London charged to the ring and jump-started the match. Cole said London showed guts coming out to face Guerrero considering the mood he’s been in lately. Good, nonstop back and forth action with London showing great energy, as usual. Cole referred to a near fall by London as a “near huge upset.” And people wonder why “cruiserweights don’t draw.” When the champion, against someone negligibly taller than him, is considered a major underdog, it just doesn’t encourage viewers to take the championship seriously. When Guerrero applied the Texas Cloverleaf, Tazz encouraged London to tap out and survive to fight another day. London eventually did. Rey Mysterio ran out to save London from a post-match beating and cleared the ring.
WINNER: Guerrero at 4:10.
STAR RATING: * — Short, but good. The NWA Jr. Hvt. Champion Denny Brown used to be used as a jobber – after wearing his title belt to the ring – back in the ’80s. Denny was no London, but the effect is similar. It’s difficult to ever take a title seriously when the title holder is not only jobbing clean in four minutes, but the mere thought of him winning instead if characterized as a “near huge upset.”
[Commercial Break]
-Highlights aired of the ECW PPV. Michael Cole then congratulated Tazz on the evening and said it was an honor to be a part of it. Uh, how exactly was Cole a part of it? They were cut-off by a brawl backstage between Guerrero and Mysterio. They fought with a ladder. Rey rammed Guerrero into the cage walls. Guerrero then closed a garage door and rolled under, locking Rey inside.
-Orlando Jordan made a comment about being the only champion in the Cabinet. JBL said he runs the Cabinet and thus the Bashams are going to ringside with him. JBL then mistakenly called Doug by Danny’s name. Doug said he’s tired of him not knowing the difference between them. Doug and Danny said they’re no longer his crash test dummies and then they quit. Orlando and JBL looked dismayed.
-One more plug for the draft pick later and Carlito’s Cabana with guests Booker T and Sharmell.
[Commercial Break]
-Carlito said when he looks in the crowd he sees a bunch of fat people with bad skin who will probably get diabetes. He then sarcastically said, “Way to go, Hershey, that’s cool.” Carlito suggested that if Sharmell got drafted to Raw, Angle could have his way with her because Booker wouldn’t be around to protect her. Sharmell said Carlito is right, and since their time together may be limited, they wanted to leave him with something to remember them by. Booker then punched Carlito and send him scurrying to the rampway. Booker bit into his apple and threw it at Carlito.
-An ad ran for the new Legion of Doom Road Warrior DVD. Looks pretty good.
[Commercial Break]
-Carlito chewed out Matt Morgan for not being there to protect him. Nobody chews someone out quite like Carlito with his accent and hair.
3 — THE BIG SHOW vs. MATT MORGAN
Cole said Big Show has heard whispers that perhaps Mat Morgan is “bigger and badder than him.” Show threw a barrage of rights at Morgan at the start of the match. He followed with a big open-hand slap to his chest. I suspect that actually hurt quite a bit. He absorbed two more chops and a clothesline followed by an elbow drop and a two count. When Carlito came to ringside and distracted Show, Morgan gave him a running knee from behind. Morgan removed the monitors from the announce table (because he didn’t want to hurt him too bad), but when Show showed signs of life, Carlito hit Show from behind with a chair prompting the DQ. Show no-sold it and tossed Morgan through the table.
WINNER: Show via DQ at 5:05.
STAR RATING: 3/4*
-They replayed Undertaker’s return earlier in the night.
[Commercial Break]
-They showed Teddy Long outside the arena checking his watch, apparently waiting for the latest new wrestler to arrive from Raw.
ARTICLE CONTINUED BELOW…
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4 — ORLANDO JORDAN vs. HARDCORE HOLLY — U.S. Title match
Holly had initial offense, then Orlando, then Holly. Holly rallied and set up an Alabama Slam. Jordan grabbed the ropes to block the move. Jordan then backdropped Holly onto the apron. Holly went for a sunset flip, but Jordan dropped down and held the top rope for leverage for the win.
WINNER: Jordan at 5:20.
STAR RATING: *1/2 — Solid basic TV match.
[Commercial Break]
-Heidenreich said he thinks he could find himself a friend in Hershey. He said he loves Hershey chocolate so much, he wrote a poem about it. He had a gigantic Hershey bar in his hand and chocolate smothers all over his face. Yeah, that’ll cause back acne. The Smackdown Divas came out and threw Hershey kisses all over the place. Jackie apologized for interrupting, but said she couldn’t help but notice he had the biggest Hershey bar she’s ever seen. She asked if she could take a bit. She bit off a chunk. Joy told Heidenreich she wants to give him a great big kiss. She bent over and picked up a Hershey kiss and gave it to him. “Heidenreich loves kisses,” said Heidenreich.
The red carpet was unrolled and out walked MNM. WWE needs to find Donna Gagne to read fake stories about MNM’s Hollywood exploits and talk about faked tabloid scandals involving MNM and Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Melina said there is nothing sweeter than M&Ms. The crowd booed. It’s sacrilegious to eat M&Ms in Hershey. When Michelle complained in a ridiculously whiny voice, Melina made fun of her voice.
Heidenreich told Melina that she’s not allowed to talk to his friend like that. Melina aked if Heidenreich was going to read her a lousy poem. She told Heidenreich she will never be his friend. Heidenreich put on a pouty face. She said her friends are Nitro and Mercury, jet-setting stars, not a grown man acting like a kindergartner on crack. Michele speared Melina to the mat. MNM attacked Heidenreich from behind and gave him a Snap Shot. Where could this be headed. Perhaps the dream tag team feud of all-time – MNM vs. Heidenreich & Eugene.
-They plugged JBL vs. Undertaker was up next.
[Commercial Break]
-Cole announced Rey vs. Eddie would take place next week.
-JBL and Jordan came to the ring. Chris Benoit came out instead of Undertaker. He and Jordan brawled to the back. That left JBL in the ring alone.
[Commercial Break]
5 — JBL vs. UNDERTAKER
Taker methodically worked over JBL for the first four minutes including the top rope walk and forearm. Cole and Tazz talked about how the lack of prep time hurt JBL, not to mention that he was alone without any Cabinet members. JBL reversed Taker into the stairs and crotched him over the security railing. They cut to a commercial.
[Commercial Break]
JBL dominated during the break and for a few minutes out of the break. Cole wondered if JBL had an advantage because he had more ring recently than Taker. Taker avoided a Clothesline from Hell and took over. He gave JBL a guillotine legdrop off the ring apron at 12:00. JBL fired back by snapping Taker’s throat over the top rope. Taker hit Snake Eyes for a near fall at 13:45. He then chokeslammed JBL and scored a near fall seconds later. Taker, with no sense of urgency, set up a Tombstone. JBL used a low blow to counter it and then bounced off the ropes and hit a Clothesline from Hell for a near fall at 15:00. Undertaker came back with a Last Ride. JBL kicked out. Taker looked frustrated. He rolled his eyes back and did the throat slice gesture. Orton then attacked Undertaker with an RKO. Tazz wondered aloud if he was the Smackdown pick. JBL crawled on top of Undertaker and scored the pin.
WINNER: JBL at 17:10.
STAR RATING: **1/2 — Methodical, but okay match. Vince McMahon isn’t thrilled with JBL for the Blue Meanie incident, but he’s not so upset that he changed the plans for JBL to score a tainted pinfall on Taker. That doesn’t happen every day.
-Orton stood on the stage and called out Undertaker’s name. He told Taker to get used to him because he was the latest draft lottery pick to move to Smackdown. It seems WWE is intentionally being vague about how the draft lottery takes place. By what they’ve said before, it’s a random draw. But if they drew attention to that, it would seem far-fetched that so many top names have been drafted so far and no Eugenes or Joys or Mavens or Doug Bashams.
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