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The following report originally published 20 years ago this week here at PWTorch.com.
WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW REPORT
MAY 23, 2005
LIVE FROM GREEN BAY, WISC.
REPORT BY WADE KELLER, EDITOR
-After a review of last week’s show, Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler introduced and previewed the show.
-Lita and Edge walked to the ring. Lita said, “Go ahead throw your stones. I seemed to forget that I’m in a room full of saints. What I did to Kane, women do all the time. They used their husbands. Can you blame me?” She then brought up that the marriage with Kane was against her will, involved forced sexual relations, and her losing her baby because Kane didn’t protect her. “As I see it, Kane owes me,” she said. “So I used him. Big deal. I used Kane to take care of Trish and anything else my heart desired. All I had to do is close my eyes and pucker up and give him a really gross, big wet kiss.” She said she had Kane wrapped around her finger. “Let’s get one thing straight,” she said. A loud “slut, slut” chant began.
Lita said, “Just because I’ve had more action in the last few months than any of you have had in your lifetimes doesn’t make me a slut.” She said, “Kane, I never loved you. I could never love a sick, twisted, sweaty freak like you. While you were running errands, doing whatever I wanted, following me around like a cute little puppy dog, I was busy falling in love. I fell in love with a real man. Kane, you could never satisfy me. In fact, no man I’ve ever been with could have satisfied me except one, the man I’ve been seeing behind your back for months now. The next World Heavyweight Champion.”
Edge said the fans jeer them because they’re jealous of their lives, their fame, and because he has a fiery red sexpot by his side. He said, “You can call her a slut, but she’s my slut. I’m on top of the world because I’ve got the girl and tonight, I get the World Title.” He talked about winning the Money in the Bank match at WrestleMania and winning the Gold Rush Tournament. “And tonight, Batista, I go through you,” he said. Then Edge and Lita made out. Ross said, “I’m at a loss. This is hideous. Absolutely two hideous human beings.” He said tonight may be the biggest night of his professional life. “What these two have done to another human being’s life is absolutely repulsive in my view,” said Ross.
They went backstage and showed Kane rocking back and forth, looking emotionally destroyed by what he just saw. Great camera shot.
Ross then plugged Batista vs. Edge as the main event of the TV show, along with Chris Jericho & Shelton Benjamin vs. Hassan & Daivari next.
Wow. I’m surprised no one slipped up and said Matt Hardy’s name. If Matt Hardy’s not in on it at this point – and I don’t believe he is – that was borderline cruel. But damn if it didn’t make compelling TV for those who know about the Hardy story and even for those who didn’t. Lita gave a great promo from a storyline perspective, addressing the obvious thing that needed to be addressed – which is why she stuck with Kane all this time. It turns out, he would do anything for her and meanwhile she was getting to have sex with Edge on the side. Lita was really good on the mic as a heel. There’s still something about her delivery that seems labored, but overall a strong, believable promo. Edge is just sinister as a heel.
[Commercial Break]
-Chris Jericho arrived at the arena late. Todd Grisham told him his match already took place. Jericho said he had a commitment related to Fozzy. He asked for a singles match to make up for being late. He said, “Jericho means ratings.”
-Eric Bischoff told an assistant that he wants a black podium, a black carpet, and a barbed wire wreath with “ECW” in the middle. He said they should have had a funeral for ECW a long time ago. Shelton Benjamin entered the room and asked Bischoff if he could delay his match because Chris Jericho hadn’t shown up yet. Bischoff told Benjamin how busy he was with a funeral and a draft and World Title match to plan, so he didn’t have time to reshuffle the show. He said it would be a handicapped match instead. He also asked Benjamin if he saw John Cena last night. He said he had to figure out a way to get him to Raw. Shelton said that would be a great idea, as would sending Bischoff to Raw. Benjamin is good in the same way that Batista is at playing it low-key with his responses. It seems real and he seems likable.
1 — SHELTON BENJAMIN vs. MUHAMMAD HASSAN & KHOSROW DAIVARI
For the record, the intro video for Hassan and Daivari is so clearly playing off of 911 by showing various landmarks in the U.S. including several views of the American flag and images of the St. Louis Arch, the Black Hills, and the Statue of Liberty. That symbolism has nothing to do with the supposed basis of Hassan and Daivari’s characters, which is that they are upset with being discriminated against because people assume they’re terrorists. It’s instead meant to conjure up images of the next landmarks the terrorists might strike. As Hassan and Daivari walked to the ring, Ross thanked fans for tuning in last week, making it the highest rated Raw in over a year. Lawler wondered why Jericho no-showed, saying he’s usually reliable. Ross said he hoped it was just a minor travel problem. The crowd was big time into Benjamin, chanting for him in the opening minute. Hassan tripped Benjamin coming off the ropes and then slammed him face-first into the ring barrier. Benjamin came back against Daivari. He clotheslined an interfering Hassan over the top rope to the floor. Benjamin knocked Daivari out of the ring with a running knee and then yanked Hassan into the ring. Daivari grabbed a chair and was going to hit Shelton, but the ref stopped him. Daivari shoved the ref to the mat. Hassan KO’d Shelton with his finisher as the ref shoved the chair out of the ring, then Daivari made the cover for the win. Ross closed by asking, “Where the hell is Jericho?”
WINNERS: Hassan & Daivari at 4:50.
STAR RATING: 3/4 — Short, but good.
[Commercial Break]
-Backstage, Edge told Christian and Tyson Tomko that if they helped him get what he wants later, they might get a gift in the form of the Money in the Bank briefcase.
[Commercial Break]
-Ross and Lawler plugged the World Title match and Maria’s interview with Viscera. I can’t believe they’ve turned Maria into a selling point of Raw. Not that she doesn’t deserve it because she’s so incompetent, she’d become the Larry “Bud” Melman of Raw.
2 — CHRIS “MASTERPIECE” MASTERS vs. STEVEN RICHARDS
When Chris “Masterpiece” Masters came out to his elaborate ring entrance. There are rumors that Vince McMahon gets a tear in his eye and maybe even touches himself every time that ring entrance takes place. They replayed Masters breaking Richards’s face. Steven Richards got a full-fledged ring entrance. When’s the last time that happened on Raw? Masters picked up Richards right as he entered the ring and rammed him into the corner turnbuckles. Masters gave him two backbreakers and a sideslam in rapid-fire sequence. Richards fired a chop at Masters’s chest. Masters came right back with a nice vertical suplex. He then shouted that he was going to break his face again with his double axe handle. Masters charged at him, but Richards gave him a big boot first. He then hit Masters with a flurry of punches. Masters kneed Richards to stop him and then bashed his leg when Richards tried to stop him with another boot. Richards grabbed at his knee as if he injured it. Masters then applied the Master Lock for the win.
WINNER: Masters at 1:57.
STAR RATING: * — That was a really good squash. Masters’s offense looked strong, including nice execution of a vertical suplex, good interaction with the crowd, and a confidence to what he was doing that a lot of people put in his spot in the past haven’t had. Richards sold really well. Some of Richards’s punching flurry showed light, but overall a nice segment that gave Masters a hint of in-ring credibility to go along with his mic work lately. This was good use of something that happened months ago for a quick two week program on TV. What’s with WWE acknowledging its history lately, with Lita addressing several key issues in her Kane marriage and then a memory for the Richards-Masters incident.
-Bischoff told Todd Grisham he was assigning him the Kane interview. Grisham didn’t look eager. Bischoff said, “Don’t be afraid to ask the tough questions.”
[Commercial Break]
-Photos were shown of WWE Diva Search entrants, and then Lawler plugged that the eight finalists would make it to Raw for fan balloting. Lawler also plugged that the music in the background was from Audio Slave. Ross said, “That’s good music,” an endorsement which rang about as authentic as Michael Cole saying he used to watch ECW.
ARTICLE CONTINUED BELOW…
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3 — CHRIS JERICHO vs. SYLVAIN GRENIER
-Chris Jericho walked out to the ring. Ross said apparently Jericho’s other business interests had kept him preoccupied. He said that can happen to anyone. Grenier got in a fair share of offense. Jericho took control as Grenier argued with the ref, then applied the Walls of Jericho for the tapout win.
WINNER: Jericho at 3:15.
STAR RATING: 3/4* — Quick match, but high energy.
-Shelton walked to the ring. He asked Jericho where he was. Jericho said Shelton is a great athlete. As he walked backwards toward the stage, leaving Shelton inside the ring, he said he is in demand in so many places, he might be late sometimes and it’s something Shelton will have to get used to. He said no matter what, his Jerichoholics will stand behind him. There were scattered boos.
-A promo aired for the June 6 start of the draft lottery.
[Commercial Break]
-The ECW PPV commercial aired.
-Then they went to Raw where an “ECW, ECW” chant could be heard, although it wasn’t deafening. Apparently, many ECW fans wanted to pay their respects to ECW through silence. Eric Bischoff was standing mid-ring in front of a barbed wire wreath. Bischoff’s assistant deserves a raise for coming through so quickly with that. Bischoff said he wanted to give a history lesson about ECW. He said ECW started in of all places a bingo parlor in South Philadelphia. He laughed. He said eventually he crushed ECW. He said he signed away many ECW stars and presented a vastly superior product. “In the end, ECW died. So I was shocked when all of a sudden I started seeing commercials for ECW’s One Night Stand pay-per-view on my show, Raw. Let me make one thing really, really clear. I killed ECW once. This funeral signifies the fact that I’m going to kill it again. See, I’m on a crusade.” He said in the next few weeks he’d be putting together a group of volunteer Raw superstars who would be buying tickets for the ECW PPV in New York City on June 12 with one goal – putting ECW out of business once and for all. He said not one person, not Paul Heyman, not Sabu, not Sandman would put stop him. Then “No Chance in Hell” played. Out walked Vince McMahon.
Bischoff changed his tone and said, “Mr. McMahon, what a pleasant surprise.” He wondered if Vince arrived to pay tribute to ECW. Vince said he was there to let Bischoff and everyone else know he has a vested interest in the well-being of ECW. Bischoff said he didn’t understand. He said, “For years behind the scenes, my organization financially supported ECW. You see, I had the philosophy that the stars of ECW might some day become the superstars of WWE. And boy was I right.” He mentioned Mick Foley, The Dudley Boyz, “and that guy you fired who went to ECW” Steve Austin. He said: “When I was supported ECW, what were you doing? You were raping, pillaging, and robbing their locker room. Why would you want to do that, Eric? You single-handedly drove them into bankruptcy. And by the way, as a matter of public record, you look up that bankruptcy, and you’ll see creditor WWE for loans totally 587,500 dollars, Eric. You see Eric, I had to acquire the assets of the bankrupt organization to protect my interests. So I’d very much like for ECW’s One Night Stand to be a viable, financial success. It makes sense. And you wonder where all of these ECW commercials come from and how they magically appear on Raw and soon to be on Smackdown. Hell, I put them there!”
Eric began to look remorseful. Vince continued by saying he is going to present a match that he cancelled last week – that ECW Rules match between Chris Benoit and Tajiri. A loud “ECW, ECW” chant began. They showed ECW signs in the crowd. Vince said he is claiming the ECW brand is dead, but the brand isn’t dead at all. He said all over the world he hears ECW chants. “It could very well be at One Night Stand a resurrection, if you would,” Vince said. “Wait a minute, I remember one brand of wrestling that is totally dead. That’s right, it’s the WCW brand.” Vince lit up with a big, bright smile. “Just for the record, just as you want to take credit and should for killing the ECW brand, Eric, I killed WCW.” McMahon said he didn’t have a damn thing to do with creating ECW and helping build the brand. He said he knows someone who does, and that man had a hell of a lot to do with it – Paul Heyman.
Out walked Paul Heyman to ECW’s theme music. Ross aid the “evil genius” who created ECW has “literally been in exile.” He said he must be excited that his brand has a pulse. McMahon introduced Heyman and Bischoff. Heyman said it’s the first time in history that Vince McMahon, Eric Bischoff, and Paul Heyman stood inside the ring at the same time. “WWE, WCW, and ECW,” he said. “Speaking of ECW. Please remember our deal. You can own ECW, but I still control ECW.”
Vince sold it perfectly, as if he reluctantly agreed to that stip during tough negotiations. That was a great point to add so fans can cling to an idea that in some way, ECW is still independent. Heyman corrected Bischoff that ECW wasn’t just about barbed wire brawling, it was also about the cruiserweight lucha libre style made famous by Rey Mysterio. He said Mysterio was discovered by ECW. “ECW was about the pure scientific style perfected by Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, and the Human Suplex Machine Tazz.” He said that didn’t begin on WCW or WWE. It was ECW. He said ECW was about “the entire audience believing in their favorite wrestlers so much, everyone in the crowd would take their thumb, point it at themselves, and say in unison RVD.” Rob Van Dam wasn’t a Monday Nitro phenomenon. Long before he was Mr. Monday Night on Raw, he was Mr. ECW. “And you’re right Eric, ECW was about wrapping up the rules in barbed wire and powerbombing them through a flaming table, a style personified by Tommy Dreamer and the Dudley Boyz and the Sandman and Mick Foley and the suicidal, homicidal, death-defying Sabu. ECW was a lifestyle, It was anti-establishment. It was counter-culture. And it was up in your face. I invite you Eric to experience ECW.” Heyman paused for an ECW chant. Heyman thanked the fans and said, “That means a lot to me, and a lot to a lot of people, Eric. I invite you to experience what ECW is about live, in person on June 12 at ECW One Night Stand.”
McMahon stepped in. He said as much as he supports ECW, he supports Raw and therefore its G.M. He said if Bischoff wants to bring a volunteer force to the Hammerstein Ballroom and kick the ass of ECW, then so be it, because if there’s anything he likes as much as a pot full of money and a fight. “May the best man win,” said McMahon. Heyman said this wouldn’t be the first time a big corporation went after ECW. “You can call it a crusade. I call it gang warfare. And you can take your gang warfare straight to the extreme.” Bischoff had turned his back, but turned around to say it would be no problem. Heyman told Bischoff he will be starting a fire he cannot put out. Heyman then lit the ECW barbed wire wreath on fire. The segment ended with Heyman staring down Bischoff.
That was one of the most surreal, memorable segments in pro wrestling history on a number of levels. McMahon controls how wrestling history is portrayed on his shows, and he just let Heyman bitch-slap Bischoff. Heyman was right on in correcting the misrepresentation of ECW the last couple of weeks. It was good to see that. It had to be said. In fact, almost word-for-word, I ranted about those very points in last week’s Keller Raw Report.
[Commercial Break]
-A brief feature aired hyping “The Longest Yard” with Steve Austin talking about his small role in the movie.
4 — CHRIS BENOIT vs. TAJIRI
Tajiri attacked Benoit with a kendo stick on the stage. They brawled to the ring. Tajiri sprayed green mist at Benoit to block a kendo stick shot. Tajiri then grabbed a trash can. Benoit nailed Tajiri with a chop to the chest, but when he set a trash can in the corner, Tajiri reversed him into it. Benoit executed some German suplexes, then made Tajiri tapout with a Crippler Crossface with the added dose of using the kendo stick across Tajiri’s mouth. When Ross gave Lawler a hard time because he probably never watched ECW, Lawler fired back that he invaded the Bingo Hall himself. Good comeback. Ross said ECW wasn’t crappy; it was about passion. When Lawler accused Ross of being a Heyman fan, Ross said, “ECW was about more than Paul Heyman!”
WINNER: Benoit at 2:23.
STAR RATING: 3/4* — Decent, but way too short, garbage brawl.
[Commercial Break]
-Batista was shown backstage warming up for his match. Oh yeah, he’s part of Raw. Ric Flair walked into the locker room and thanked Flair for showing him respect last week. “You showed the people what kind of man you really are,” he said. Flair offered Batista a handshake. Batista accepted and patted him on the back. Flair wished him luck. They exchanged smiles.
-Grisham went backstage where Kane was rocking back and forth. He asked him how he was coping to “losing your wife to another man, Edge.” He held the mic out, but kept his distance. Kane said: “My whole life has been about pain. I was born into pain. I was born to bring pain. Pain has always been my best friend. My only friend. But now, it’s my worst enemy. This pain hurts so much.” He then began to cry. The crowd groaned. His crying turned into a sinister laugh. “Maybe I deserve this for all of the things that I’ve done,” he added. Then he broke into tears again. “I don’t want this pain! I don’t want it. Get it off me! I don’t want to have pain. I want to give pain! I want to. I want to be left alone. Leave me alone.” Grisham slowly, carefully left the room. Really good promo from Kane. Wrestling fans are so mean. No babyface can show emotional vulnerability and not get booed.
[Commercial Break]
-Maria said, “I have to admit. I have an interior motive for having you out here tonight.” Lawler laughed at Maria saying “interior” instead of “ulterior.” Viscera, meanwhile, sniffed Maria’s neck. She invited Lilian Garcia to the ring. Maria said based what she saw last week, she has a theory – Viscera likes Lilian. “Am I right?” she asked. Viscera said he does like her, but he doesn’t know if she feels the same way. Viscera said he waited all night long for Lilian to come to his hotel room last week, but she never showed up. “So I’ve got a little surprise for you,” he said. Then he called for the lights and music. Viscera sang again. He sent Maria to ringside to get a hot dog from a fan in the front row. Viscera ate it as he sang. “Damn, that’s really good,” he said. He said it’s about time for him to show her what she’s been missing. “Last week, you heard me sing. And I was pretty damn good. This week, it’s time to dance.” He began dancing next to her. Ross said, “He’s eating and dancing at the same time.” Funny. Lawler said he can eat and do something else at the same time. Lilian and Maria smiled and began dancing, too. Viscera began disrobing. He took off his jacket, then his tie. He wrapped his tie around Lilian’s neck. Viscera then took off his belt and dropped his pants revealing red silk boxers.
Ross said those were the biggest boxers he’s ever seen. Coach then interrupted. The music stopped. He said Bischoff has a lot on his plate, so the last thing he needs is a sexual harassment lawsuit. He suggested he leave the ring right away. I’m sure you feel comfortable here in Green Bay, Wisconsin where even you – you! – are considered thin,” said Coach, who went on to call him a joke and an embarrassment. He said Bischoff is ordering him to leave. As Coach walked toward Lilian, Viscera stopped him, ripped his shirt open, chopped his chest, and then gave Coach a Samoan drop. Viscera then mounted and humped Coach from behind. Coach rolled out of the ring. Lilian and Maria smiled. Lilian raised Viscera’s arm in the air. When she tried to walk away, Viscera held up and yanked her into his arms. He then leaned in and kissed her. Lilian looked stunned. Maria looked dumb. Lawler said Maria looked jealous. “Maria is voyeuristic, she likes to watch,” Lawler said.
-Ross plugged the World Hvt. Title match was next.
[Commercial Break]
6 — BATISTA vs. EDGE (w/Lita)
Ross said regarding Edge, “His transgressions to the best of my knowledge didn’t happen in the ring as far as Lita is concerned,” said Ross. Lawler told Ross, “Get over this thing withEdge and Lita. Break-ups happen every day.” This, from the king of making a public spectacle of his break-up. How did Ross not hit that lob out of the ballpark? Batista overpowered Edge in the opening minute. He then knocked Edge out of the ring. Tyson Tomko and Christian walked to the ring as they cut to a break.
[Commercial Break]
Edge took over control. Lawler wondered what the celebration between Edge and Lita tonight might be like if Edge wins the World Title. Ross quipped that Lawler would probably like to see a copy show up on the internet. “I’d buy it,” said Lawler. Batista fought out of a body scissors by Edge at 7:30. Christian distracted the ref. Edge gave Batista a thumb to the eye and then wheel kicked Batista to the mat for a two count. At 11:30 Batista ducked a flying Edge, who then knocked the referee out. Batista took control, but when he set up a Batista Bomb, Tomko and Christian attacked Batista. Ric Flair ran to the ring and beat up Christian and Tomko, then strutted. Edge speared Flair. Tomko and Christian then pounded away at Flair. Meanwhile, Batista took edge down with a clothesline. He gave Tomko a spinebuster, then delivered the same to Christian. He clotheslined Tomko and Christian over the top rope. Edge then surprised Batista with a spear. The ref came to. Ross said, “It may be over!” The ref slowly counted to two, but Batista kicked out right before three. Lita then shoved Edge the briefcase. He charged at Batista, but Batista ducked and slammed Edge. Batista shook the top rope, then did the thumbs up/down spot, then delivered a Batista Bomb for the win.
WINNER: Batista at 14:08 to retain the World Hvt. Title.
STAR RATING: **3/4 — Solid match. Not great. I’m surprised they went with a relatively clean win for Batista.
-They made it until the very end without even mentioning Triple H by name. As Batista and Flair celebrated together in the ring, Hunter’s music began. As Batista looked at Hunter, Flair gave Batista a low blow from behind. Hunter then walked to the ring with a sledge hammer in hand. Hunter then rammed Batista with the sledgehammer, knocking Batista to ringside. Hunter looked at the World Title belt that he covets. Hunter beat on a bloodied Batista at ringside. Flair and Hunter double-teamed Batista at ringside as the crowd chanted “asshole” at him. Then he screamed, “You wanna fight me? Hell in a Cell!” Hunter closed the show by giving Batista a Pedigree on the World Title.
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