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Roman Reigns is one of the most dramatic, divisive, and discussed WWE performers in history. The company makes desperate play after desperate play to make him your favorite graps guy – with limited success. How do they do it? What do they do?
I’m Tom Colohue and this is the Monday Night Reigns-o-Meter.
Roman Reigns has been used sparingly on WWE programming recently and, you know what, I don’t like it. Where was he last week? Seriously, I want an exact itinerary of his every move, people!
This week, the hashtag Big Dog returned to his yard and found it almost exactly as he left it. Seth Rollins might be spending a little more time carrying around furniture and showing it off to his girlfriend – she’s definitely going to want to move in with you now you’ve secured a second chair for your house, bro – but Shane McMahon is still running the show, Sasha Banks is still nowhere to be seen, and 3MB are still never ever ever getting back together.
Literally just writing that made me sad. Just do it for the band, Drew. Do it for the band.
Wearing a sleeveless hoodie that I genuinely need to own, Roman came down to the ring looking for a wrestle. What he got was Shane McMahon on his TV. Nobody wants that. Little Mac would bask in his best in the world © glory before asking “Which way did he go?” when Roman came looking for him.
The whole thing gave me very unhappy flashbacks to the time Rick Steiner had a promo interrupted by Chucky. To be clear, actual Chucky. You know, the real one. It’s always the big dogs.
After that, the fight was on. This is the Roman we like. All fight, no talk. No suffering succotash. No magic beans. Just full of beans and on the warpath. You don’t boo a guy walking into a fight with four men, one of whom is the literal best in the world. You don’t boo a guy who attacks poor EC3 and Eric Young with a chair. You don’t boo The Man who’s had enough talk and is in the mood to throw people. Give me brutality. Give me blood. Give me a fight.
Roman eliminates two jobbers on the way to the, oh sorry… that was The Revival.
Roman eliminates two jobbers on the way to Shane and Drew’s Big Birthday Bash Bonanza. He strides with purpose down the corridor, taking in the decoration, particularly the standard Shane McMahon calling card: his own face plastered on everything. Meanwhile, Shane suddenly remembers he’s actually not that good a wrestler and starts to sweat profusely.
Sorry, continues to sweat profusely. I’m pretty sure he started back during the Austin vs. The Undertaker feud of 1999. The shine from the left behind sweat patch in Saudi Arabia is technically responsible for The Undertaker vs. Goldberg match. Shane McMahon’s sweat glands have a lot to answer for.
And then there was war.
Drew McIntyre, briefly distracted by the important fashion matter of whether to wear or not wear a leather jacket, gets punched in the chin.
It’s important to note that Roman is not wearing his chest protector and, as such, will not be taking any bumps of any kind this evening.
Shane tries to run, which is just top class heel work right there. This was very much a “put Shane back in his place” segment that was very welcome. Roman catches him, but McIntyre, now firmly decided not to wear a jacket, interferes. Shane lays down while Roman throws McIntyre through a table. The man is exhausted. He’s completed out of breath. You might say he’s… Pete Gassed.
Please don’t stop reading.
Shane escapes, suddenly revitalised and hops over the barrier at ringside. His parkour bonus is ended when he is flattened by a Topé Cuddle Cena from Roman. If that doesn’t pop you, nothing will. (Don’t tell Randy Orton).
Short, aggressive Roman Reigns segments have always had good pedigree. That’s a wrestling joke, a dog joke, and a Triple H joke all in one. This is the high-quality content your Reigns-o-meter delivers.
It’s certainly true historically, though. Roman has been very well received when he puts down the microphone and goes for the throat, despite becoming much more comfortable on the microphone since he last won the WWE Championship from Triple H at WrestleMania. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it – and less has been proven to be more with Mr WrestleMania Main Event.
With Seth and Becky both now flying the top flag in tandem, with Kofi Kingston dominated Smackdown Live, and with the returns of Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn, now might be a good time to leave Roman out a little. Daniel Bryan has done great work, A.J. Styles is missing right now but never fails to light up a segment, and Balor, Andrade, and Nakamura have been doing great work in the mid-card. Meanwhile, here comes Ricochet, Alistair Black, and Nikki Cross.
Essentially, unless you’re a tag team, chances are you can fill a gap left behind by utilising Roman to his best potential.
Roman didn’t appear on Smackdown Live. Usually I’d call it a crime to have less Roman. Usually I’d call WWE out for not having him appear on the show he’s actually on. This time, not so much. This time, I think it’s the right move.
– Shane McMahon
– The Revival
– Drew McIntyre
Did Roman Reigns beat the odds?
And he did it without a wall of sweat either.