SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
Roman Reigns has been ruling the roost recently, feuding with his cousin Jey Uso in the lead in to their I Quit Hell In A Cell match at this weekend’s upcoming pay per view. The man at the top has been gatekeeping with the best of them. Meanwhile, Jey Uso has stepped out of the tag division and gone to war with Roman; matching him step for step and fighting back against his oppression.
Basically what I’m saying is this is good s**t. So good apparently that the initial plan, to simply have the match take place at the previous pay per view and then move on, was abandoned. Speaking to Pete Rosenberg, Jey Uso said the following:
“…this was a one and done, supposed to be. No, they didn’t, no, they like yo this…this s**t is fire right here bro. We ain’t, we ain’t going nowhere, you’re damn right we ain’t going nowhere uce.
“…I think I was just to get Roman to the next homie but man you see the storytelling…this is real.
“If you watch the match back, the match was basic but the damn well what grew is the damn story man and and that is the main thing.”
Quite how Roman feels about being outed like that is hard to tell. Naturally, your Roman Reigns-o-meter is an expert though, so one thing we can say for certain is that it made Roman Reigns feel hungry.
What we saw this week was a difficult artistry. Something that has foiled the greats of Robert DeNiro, Jane Fonda and that guy from Les Mis. Food acting.
After some early fisting from Daniel Bryan and the continuation of a Seth Rollins storyline that started almost a year ago that just keeps going, we were given the honour of watching Roman Reigns at the dinner table. If there’s one thing I need on my TV it’s the right to see a Big Dog eat live on TV. Roman, however, is too smart for food.
After successfully fending off the attacks of two plates of seriously aggressive dinner, Roman apparently sat backstage staring at them for a good forty minutes waiting for his segment. My Tribal Chief and yours has the right as champion to come down to the ring whenever he wants but he’s smart enough to sit backstage for two hours waiting for the script to tell him when he’s on camera.
Roman Reigns would walk slowly down to the ring with Paul Heyman in tow. He no longer fists the ground, instead holding aloft a title he clearly cares about a lot more than he did ye olde United States Championship. Greeted by a chorus of boos, some of which might even have been real, the Big Dog popped his pyro and flexed his chest so you could read the show up and win mantra.
Would that we all could just show up and win but our dogs simply are not big enough.
Before saying a word, our hero was cruelly interrupted by the dastardly Jey Uso. He’s backstage threatening to eat the Tribal Chief’s cheese. Weird flex. In the end though it’s all a distraction. Jey Uso, taking a leaf from the best in the business, indulges in twin magic. The Bellas would be so proud. Jey Uso pulls back his mask and pulls off his hat, revealing himself to be the slightly less dastardly Jimmy Uso.
How did we not see this coming? Couldn’t we see that the mask was hiding something? It’s not as if there’s a globally recognised reason to wear masks nowadays or anything. Jey comes from behind, assaulting the champion, abusing a ring post, teasing some hot chair action and eventually hitting a splash from the top rope.
Roman Reigns is left laying in the middle of the ring; a rare image indeed for someone who bench pressed a zoo that one time. It doesn’t last long though because Roman is up in no time. He holds out his hand for Paul Heyman, who fails to give him his championship before delivering the microphone that he should. Heyman is going to get quite the telling off for that one later. Roman then starts talking.
SmackDown was all about consequences. For Roman Reigns, the big consequence for this Sunday’s I Quit Hell In A Cell match would be the loss of his championship. For Jey Uso, the consequence of a loss would be to fall in line with the Tribal Chief. Failing that, he’s out of the family and would take everyone he and his brother represents with him. Their wives. Their children. Their children’s children. Roman is the boss of that whole family now.
Strong promo work. So effective that Paul Heyman didn’t even say a word in the whole segment. As the red cell lowers, a cell in which Roman Reigns most recently went to a no finish with Braun Strowman because, well, reasons, Roman waggles his belt at Jey Uso.
Honestly, I think we’re the winners with this one.
– Jimmy Uso
– Jey Uso
– Their wives
– Their children
– Their children’s children
Did Roman Reigns beat the odds?
No, but come Hell In A Cell that might be a very different story